An Emotional Escapade For Emulation
by Marisol Akyri
Summary: What if Kyouya was allowed to dream? What if Kyouya was allowed to hurt? What if Kyouya was allowed to just simply be...scared?
1. Scared

_It is often a topic of serious debate, on what exactly is love. Or at least what is affection, mutual feelings, attraction. When can one be sure exactly what these odd emotions and bursts of irrationality bring, and when can one be brave enough to follow through? And what exactly do these dreams mean, these fantasies that come about in a relatively random streak of teenage lust? Why did this whole business have to be complicated? In fact, why couldn't it be treated as such? Why can't you manage the adolescent annoyances as such, dismiss it as another loss for the CEO or just a luxury that couldn't fit into the budget? If only you could so easily sever the ties that held a single person to another, those damned iron clutches surrounding your person of interest. If only it were that simple…_

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He always remembered the smell. It was rich of heart, poor of taste. Blessed with hopes, cursed with disappointment. Bitter yet sweet, safe yet dangerous, happy yet sad. The list of paradoxes could go on, but then again, this was a dream. Leave it to Kyouya Ohtori to still be calculating, drawing up numerous wordplays to describe a single smell. For he wasn't satisfied with minty, or flowery, or cinnamony or whatever else description you could throw at him that ended with a "y". During one of his dreams he had the freedom to run it however he wanted, have it described however he wished it. The more he can convince himself that this dream was, in reality, just a way to run his subconscious during several completed REM cycles, the better. And that all was because he hated his dreams and the smell it resurfaced.

As the youngest Ohtori settled into another night of peaceful rest, he couldn't help but let his mind resume the thinking process it so dearly loved. Under his silken dark blue sheets, the shade of the night sky outside his two-story window, Kyouya let his mind wander. It seemed he was losing more and more control of it lately, and that would surely not do. Here he was vying for the role of heir to the family fortune with two other brothers, and there he would find his mind drifting, to a sea of blank thoughts. He had to have been thinking about _something_, otherwise he couldn't well call it thinking could he? It just was that his body would be poised, hands at the ready, hunched over his beloved pineapple laptop, eyes focused intently on the flickering screen in front of him. But that would be where the façade ended. He really wasn't calculating club profit or scheduling appointments and activities the seven teens always seemed to be doing. No, he was just thinking about nothing. But like he said before, he _had_ to have been _thinking_ about _something_. Or it wasn't thinking at all!

Frustrated, the raven-haired teen shrugged off his silk sheets, letting out an audible huff as he flipped over in the bed. He buried his face in the pillow, the soft crush barely heard of the luxury clothed cushion a soothing noise to his ears. Yet it didn't help entirely, for he was still stuck in his current dilemma. He had just spent an entire inner monologue within his mind that got him absolutely nowhere! The great Shadow King was losing the focus and intent he was legendary for, and instead having his thoughts flit around, to unnecessary and frivolous ideas. And he blamed it entirely on the stupid dream he kept having, and that smell.

_The dream always started out the same, with Kyouya just walking down a perfectly normal hallway during a perfectly normal school day. He would turn a corner, black notebook tucked under him, fully prepared to deal with yet another afternoon of the host club's idiocies. He would turn the handle, and the fine painted door would swing open. Yet here was where things changed direction, and instead of the third music room in Kyouya's line of vision, it was a single field of grass, paved with a lone stone pathway. He would walk, following the stone lane. For whatever reason why was beyond the boy's comprehension at the moment. Then, after about ten feet of steps, he would halt, the rocky edge of a ravine greeting him. He had walked to a cliff, in what was supposedly the third music room, if he opened the right door. And he did, and still, for whatever reason, didn't question the highly improbable turn of events. So there he would stand, notebook still in tow, the stones cutting off at the edge. The sun was still shining, and all his senses were suspended, he was trapped in a state of surreal focus. Then, this would be the part of the dream where the wind would pick up. _

_ It was a gentle breeze, not strong enough to tip the glasses-clad student over to the bottom of the cavernous ravine. It was a gentle breeze, one that Kyouya hated. For it brought along that smell, a scent he both yearned for and despised. Could you even categorize something like that, was he making any sense? The boy was trapped in his dream, face paling as the aroma blew in closer and closer, wrapping him in its smothering embrace. The tendrils wrapped around him, his arms crushed to his side. Yet he still didn't scream, he didn't want to. Air was forced out of his lungs, his head rolled back, so the blue sky was above him. He still didn't let out one syllable, one noise. Because of that smell, that horrid smell, it was entrancing him, and also killing him. So the higher he would go, the scented cloud lifting the boy, dragging him over the cliff's end. His notebook for some reason fell out of his grasp, and down it fluttered, the beloved pages ripping and scattering, as the wind tore at the binding. But Kyouya kept on staring blankly up, an expression of dumb-founded wonder even evident on his features. Which was just another reason why Kyouya hated his dream. It painted him as the utterly lost and emotionally detached being he knew he was, under his veil of shadows. And as the grip loosened on his torso, his legs flailing helplessly over the abyss, all Kyouya was able to register was the smell. _

_ That nauseating aroma, he hated it. And he still loved it. Which was why Kyouya didn't flinch as the tendrils were swept away, suspending him in mid-air above his plummet to death. He didn't inch away as a lone hand, fingers long and winding, smooth as a pebble, came to his shoulder. He leaned it to the touch, as the hand gripped him, sliding down to his arm. He allowed his eyes to close, not feeling the need to gag anymore at that stench, that captivating air. For it was now engulfing him again, the more Kyouya sank into the figure's embrace. He felt another arm reach up, and it gently ruffled his normally well-kept hair, of which Kyouya paid no heed. He was drowning, he was slowly losing his battle. And the figure beside him only uttered one word, in a musical lilt of a voice, so foreign, yet so familiar. "YoYo-chan," she whispered, her lips kissing the boys temple, before letting go, dropping him to the darkness below._

With a hitched breath Kyouya sprung up, pillows flung across the edge of the bed. His sheets were tossed around, as if he were struggling in his sleep, and his forehead was wet. His shaky hand was pressed against his brow, eyes wide and staring into the now familiar nothingness. His body was only shaking due to his gasping breaths, trying to calm himself down. That didn't end how it was supposed to, there wasn't supposed to be a voice. There was the smell, and the cliff, and the falling. He blinked, gulping down another shuddering breath. That voice, it wasn't supposed to be there. He wasn't supposed to think about it. He closed his onyx eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose while doing so, trying to find some sense in the matter. Still breathing deeply, the youngest Ohtori was clearly in a state of unease, for something last night went horribly wrong. He was in charge of his dreams, he was to have the same one every night. He had had the same one every night, since a few weeks back. Granted he didn't enjoy it, but at least he was given some preparation to deal with it. But now, with that new ending, it seemed remaining ignorant to the reason why he started to have these dreams, it only made it worse. The alarm next to him only now going off gave him further reason for alarm. It caused him to wake up early, that could not be.

As the metal box on top of his night table screamed, he reached out with his free arm, slamming it off with some overdue force. The crunch of internal gears barely fazed him, as he stumbled off his bed, trying to get ready for school. He had to shove this dream back behind his façade, he had to become the Shadow King. He couldn't show his face to the host club with a racing heart, eyes wide with, not fear, unrest. Yes. He nodded to himself, slowly trying to reassure his still jittering nerves. So he had a dream, that ended differently, that didn't have just a smell, but a-

No, he had to stop thinking about it. In a flash Kyouya was dressed in the Ouran uniform, black school bag tucked under his arm as he walked out the mini-apartment that was basically his room. His steps echoed in the very modern and sleek chrome walls of the mansion, his head held up high. He managed to get his glasses on, and now felt immediately safer, a little more at ease. With his glasses he was able to hide from the world, keep the, not fear, tension away from everyone.

Kyouya walked out, deciding he wasn't one for breakfast anyways at the moment. He would just have a large lunch at school, this he decided as the youngest Ohtori bent down to enter the limo, its door shut firmly closed after by the chauffeur. All was going like usual, and Kyouya settled in for a normal day at school. His dream was but a nagging afterthought in the maze of calculations that was his mind, or at least that was what he kept telling himself, as he tried furtively to get that voice, that word, out of his conscious thought. He glanced out the shaded windows of his limo, the buildings he passed familiar after years of driving by them. With his notebook in tow, the black notebook, he tapped out his knuckles on its surface, to a tune nonexistent. Here he was losing his train of thought again, and he couldn't realize it himself.

After he stepped out, the limo now pulled up at the school, Kyouya still was trying to feel "normal" again, trying to feel like the Shadow King he knew he was. He shuffled by the usual crowds of students gathered at the foyer inside, and proceeded up the red-velvet staircase, to the upper floors. For someone who didn't know him well, they couldn't say anything was off with the Ohtori child today. His opaque glasses succeeded in shielding his blank-slate eyes, his jacket covering the slight tremors racking through his spine. If he told anyone they would just smile nervously, wondering if the Shadow King was trying to pull a joke. Kyouya Ohtori nervous, shaken up? Unfathomable. It couldn't be true, it was just another cold defense put up to throw off the competition.

And as the boy stepped into his first hour class, sliding into his usual third row, second desk from the left seat, he didn't feel any better. That fleeting thought apparently had more impact than it should have. So who cares if people couldn't take his, not fear, occasional awkwardness seriously? Why would he even want to confide in someone about this, about those dreams? It was to be something he should keep to himself, a problem he would work out on his own. That was how Kyouya was brought up to deal with life, so might as well use that to his advantage.

But of course, Kyouya being in the state of mind he was currently in, he forgot all about the blonde-haired idiot who sat next to him on the left. One of two of the only people in the world who could read through his carefully constructed façade. So Kyouya used this time to scribble aimlessly notes on what the teacher was currently droning on about. Even when he was, not scared, restless, the boy could still pay attention in class. A feat many, like his best friend who was currently trying to get his attention, couldn't understand.

"Psst!" And right on cue, Tamaki was trying to talk to Kyouya. "Psst! Mother!" The pen in Kyouya's grasp tightened slightly on his black ink, marble, ballpoint pen, as he raised his head slightly, and giving the pest of a friend an impeccable nod. Better to be interested early in what Tamaki said, then ignore him and pay the price of further humiliation. "Mother, what is wrong?" "What could you possibly mean Father?" Kyouya answered him in a near whisper, calling him father strictly for the reason it would appease the idiotic fantasies of the blonde.

"It's, your, your face." Kyouya felt an eyebrow twitch. "It's just that, it's like you're fuming about something inside, or worried." Tamaki dropped his arms on the desk, resting his chin atop. It seemed he was pouting now. Kyouya felt some amusement on the inside. Leave it to Tamaki to act melodramatically in any circumstance. With a sigh he tilted his head towards Tamaki, careful to have his glasses glare like usual. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine." He slipped the blonde a trusty smirk, to give him some sense of calm "I just was woken up too early. A new maid we hired didn't know any better." He waved his hand, smirk still plastered. "I made sure to fire her before I left for school though, I can't very well have a maid like that right?" And it seemed Tamaki took this explanation for now.

Kyouya glanced up above the teacher's head, the standard-Ouran ornate gold clock displaying the time. Thankfully there was only but five minutes left in class. Then he wouldn't have to worry about explaining himself in front of his friend until the end of school. If he knew Tamaki, it was that his current explanation wouldn't put off his questions, so he needed all the time he could receive. Plenty of time hopefully, to conjure up a reasonable explanation on his current behavior, in front of Tamaki and Haruhi.

The bell rang just then, jolting the youngest Ohtori out of his thoughts, and brining upon him a new wave of, not fear, nervous tension. As he bustled out, bag and notebook in tow, Kyouya's mind was in a flurry of thought. The latter person to trick was going to be a challenge. All because Haruhi was the girl who could see through any trick or illusion he would pull, and just shatter those defenses without a thought. He would never admit it, but Haruhi Fujoka was a case onto himself.

He often wondered, at least when his mind was focused, why this girl could so easily understand the Shadow King. It was almost like she was a light to his darkness, one who so bluntly and without a care it would seem like, strip him naked of all mystery and ulterior motives he could possibly have. But her "power", it didn't anger him. On the contrary, it amused him, sparked within him an air of curiosity, of anticipation. Oftentimes when she was in his company, during the Host Club, he would make it a game within himself, what would she do next, who she would astound first. Her actions, her telling off his father at the last Ouran Festival, this only raised his interest in the brown-haired commoner exponentially.

A nagging voice at the back of his head made sure to get his attention though, as Kyouya slid into the seat of his next class. Thankfully it was host club free, so Kyouya wouldn't have to worry about holding his own here.

_Better be careful there Kyouya boy, don't fall in too deep. _

_Fall in too deep of what, dare I ask?_

_Just remember, the last time you allowed yourself._

Kyouya shook his head, eyebrows raised. Was this another consequence of his dreams? The inability to even understand his own thoughts? The teacher here had been lecturing already, and the preoccupied boy hadn't even bothered to open his notebook. Students around were sneaking quick glances, not believing that the first ranked student in their year was ignoring the teacher, for the first time. Ever.

_The last time I allowed myself to what? You understand you're making no sense as of late._

_Tsk, tsk. Trying to repress memories already? Studies say that's bad for you._

_Repressing what? Unless you become clearer, I'm afraid you've lost me._

_Clearer? This is your own mind talking to you! You are going off the deep end I'm afraid._

Kyouya resisted the urge to snort in disagreement. So even his own mind was going against him. Lovely, for what had started this mental debate this time?

_You thinking about Haruhi did!_ His traitorous mind retorted back in response.

Kyouya blinked, a hand going up to adjust his glasses. Haruhi did this. That's right. Well, he couldn't afford to think about her anymore. His current state of mind grew to an excited state when he did so, and therefore it simply would be disadvantageous to do so. Just stop thinking about her. Hand still on his glasses, he nodded. Simple enough.

Unfortunately the teacher, an elderly Englishman Mr. Whitmore didn't share in Kyouya's resolution. The students glancing around, snickering, and a top-rank student not taking notes?! This was something the stickler for education couldn't tolerate. He cleared his throat, the pointer stick he has a teacher still used slapped on the fawn brown oak desk.

"Mr. Ohtori, dare I ask what you are thinking about during my precious class time?"

_Yes, if I ignore her, then it would solve one of my problems. I still need to keep up appearances, so I need to shove this whole business with my bothering dreams and Haruhi away. Later I will evaluate the situation and see exactly why these two problems are so distracting now. _

"Mr. Ohtori?!"

_But if you do that Kyouya boy, aren't you simply just brushing your problems away, to not think about them? You surely have to know that the dreams and feelings are getting worse, and stronger, the more you not stop to think about them?_

The students, now no longer trying to pay attention to Mr. Whitmore, were all turned around in their seats, stares focused on the unfazed Ohtori, who clearly had a mind elsewhere. Whispers floated around the room, the fellow students not believing that Kyouya was, ignoring the teacher. What had gotten into him? Grins rose on all their faces though, the stately man walked up the middle row, now standing next to Kyouya's desk. He cleared his throat, trying very hard to control his temper. There had to be a reason, Kyouya never not paid attention. It was impossible.

_Why don't you just stop speaking for me, and scurry away to my inner sub-conscious? Obviously the place where you belong! I will think through my problems at a better time, I assure you. Although why I have to appease my own mind is something I don't exactly know why._

_Fine, have it your way. But just a bit of friendly neighbor advice? PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!_

He snapped his head back up, glasses slightly askew. If one didn't know any better, you would think you just saw Kyouya Ohtori pale at the sight of the teacher next to him. But most didn't, so of course Kyouya Ohtori wasn't scared. He was just surprised.

He straightened up, hand raised again to correctly position his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He needed his shield, especially now. "Yes Mr. Whitmore?" The teacher next to him fumed, hand clenched tighter on the stick. No, this boy had not just addressed him in a tone of feigned interest, in a tone of boredom! "Mr. Ohtori! As I was trying to so vehemently address, what pray tell, can you be thinking about that's more important than my current lesson?" Kyouya met the gaze of the teacher, mind twisting in overdrive.

The rest of this scene played out in a blur, for the next thing Kyouya could distinctly remember was the teacher proceeding to yell at him, students snickering, and the bell ringing to signal the end of the disaster this class had become. The students filed out, awe-struck, with a very satisfied Mr. Whitmore presiding at the front of the room, pointer stick tapped out on the desk in satisfaction. As for Kyouya, the boy was lifting up his bag, mind completely blank. If he was in a state to ponder though, he would most likely be asking why, and how. Had these recent problems really thrown him off, into the "deep-end" as his inner voice so eloquently put it before?

"Remember, after school today be here Mr. Ohtori. I'll be waiting." Kyouya barely gave a nod of confirmation, as he stepped out into the spacious hallway. His path was cleared as he advanced the hushed students in disbelief. This recent development involving the glasses-clad boy would be spread like wildfire and heavens knows how this would affect profit for the host club.

For the first time in his life Kyouya had received, detention. And he had not been able to talk his way out of it, that was what scared, no, puzzled him the most. Simply for not paying attention in class he was subject to staying in an empty classroom after school let out. What would that teach him exactly? Apparently his jailor already had a reason why, for why else would he near demand the boy to attend?

As he walked down the hall, lost in a near daze, he could only cringe inwardly on how the host club, and more importantly his father would accept the news. Not that his father would care probably. It would be dismissed as inevitable, for surely the youngest child couldn't have lived up to the perfect expectations of his elder brothers.

_ Of course not, what was I thinking? _Kyouya thought this bitterly, hands clenched on his bag and notebook. Something was wrong, very much so. It seemed he was slowly losing his mind.

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"WHERE IS MOTHER!?!!" Tamaki near screeched out to the other present host club members, who flinched in return. The blonde was in a near state of panic, rushing around the room as he often did when Haruhi was the victim of his worry. But Haruhi for once wasn't the one being yelled about, she instead was leaning against one of the many small tea tables that were placed around the room. The Host Club was scheduled to be opened today, according to Kyouya's calendar. But then, where was he? She bit her lip, resisting the urge to yell out at Tamaki. Kyouya missing a day of business, it was unheard of. Something had to be wrong, and she was surprised to find that this thought unnerved her so much.

The rest of the group seemed to be worried, but in their own way. Huni was busy at a lone table, stuffing cake down and only pausing every few seconds to exchange some words with Mori. He didn't seem to be that upset. Perhaps he knew something the others didn't, but didn't feel the need to divulge it yet. And the twins, they were just prancing around, seemingly glad that the stickler to their pranks wasn't here. Off they went chasing poor Tamaki around, who was all but calm. As they passed her table for the nth time, Haruhi narrowed her eyes, arms lashing out at the collar of the closer twin, Karou.

"What are you hiding?" Haruhi had on the face of a stern mother, as if to replace the empty spot in their host club. Karou, the meeker twin, naturally gave the girl a shaky smile. "Why would you think something is wrong? Can me and my brother not be allowed to have some fun?" Then, out of nowhere, it seemed Hikaru sprouted up next to the captured Karou, and laid a hand on his arm, dragging him close to his own worried face. "Karou, she's just worried. Imagine if you were missing without a trace dear brother."

They weren't even open and their stupid brotherly love act was still going strong. Haruhi bunched her eyebrows together, eyes glaring at the now hugging brothers in front of her. They had sparkles and everything, how did they do that?! But now was not the time to ask, for just as soon as she realized Karou slipped out of her grasp with no answer, Huni and Mori, now both standing were making their way out the door. Tamaki was still running. "MOTHER!!!!"

Huni skipped around, to address the others. "Me and Taka-chan are just going home now. He has kendo practice to go to. So," Huni looked up at Mori, the stoic figure who only nodded in agreement. "So, I guess I should just say that you shouldn't be worried about Kyo-chan. He's okay, he'll just come a little late." With a final wave the two seniors left the room without a second glance. Huni was only heard by Haruhi, the only sane and quiet member left in the room.

"Eh? Huni-sempai?" She only half heard him though, with the twins still going at it in front of her. All she was able to collect was something about kendo, and Kyouya, and to not be worried? An eyebrow was raised quizzically, as Tamaki, still not out of breath, was yelling and running across the room. Kyouya is at kendo and not be worried? She shook her head, taking care to kick the two red-heads in the shin as she passed. She wondered why she stuck around half the time.

She was on her way to the door, to leave the idiots to their actions, when from behind two pairs of arms grabbed her, by the shoulders. Now familiar with the twin's antics she all but yawned as two hopping Hitachin twins grinned evilly at her.

Hikaru turned to his brother, eyes gleaming. "Did Haruhi just, kick us dear brother?" Karou, already in the act, gave a small chuckle. "Yes, yes she did. I say we should _punish_ her." Hikaru nodded, and the two instantly dropped to the floor, Haruhi plopped down on the tile surface as if she were just a sack of rice balls. "Hey! What did you do that for?!" It was odd for the twins to actually be that rough, and Haruhi was a little nervous now. If they truly did know where Kyouya was at, as Huni and Mori did most likely, then that means they would know exactly how much they could get away with.

It didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the host club, except for Tamaki, how much Kyouya did end up saving Haruhi from the twin's clutches. Haruhi, being oblivious, thought it only as so they wouldn't distract customers. The twins saw Kyouya spoiling their fun with Haruhi as just that, spoiling their fun. It seemed only Huni and Mori, agreeably, knew exactly why Kyouya seemed to want to have Haruhi freed from the twins, as of late. It amused the seniors to know end that Kyouya himself didn't seem to understand the exact toll and message his actions left. Although Kyouya did seem to be off, these past few weeks. But of course only Huni and Mori knew of this.

So Haruhi had ample reason to be scared. Without Kyouya here, and Tamaki still in a state of hysterics, as "MOTHER!!!!!!!!" was still echoing across the fine-painted room, the twins menacing glares did nothing to calm her nerves. "H-Hikaru, K-Karou. What do you know?" She squirmed, for Hikaru had pinned Haruhi down, straddling her knees, and Karou was at the top, holding down her arms in a near vice-grip. "Or more importantly, what are you going to do?"

Hikaru tsked at the girl. "Why is Haruhi so means to us? Can she really hate our acts of love so much brother?" "I don't know Hikaru, but I do know that we must give Haruhi a fitting punishment. Didn't our mother just design a new dress?" "Or yes, trimmed with lace and pink. Isn't it off the shoulder too?" "Don't forget that it's mid-thigh length too!" "Oh yes! Haruhi needs to model it for us then!" "Of course!"

Only for Haruhi would her torture and punishment be forced to wear an expensive girlish dress. But if you knew the twins, which Haruhi did, that was hell enough. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" She glanced nervously at Tamaki, hoping he at least would give some say. He could even snap out of his worry, and twirl her around like a rag doll yelling "Daughter", anything to get her out of this situation.

Which was why she was stupefied, for just at Karou managed to wrestle her arms our of her blazer's sleeves, the heavy oak doors swung upon, successfully managing to knock out Tamaki. Or at least that's what Haruhi suspected, since she currently couldn't see anything but leg due to her vantage point, caged down on the floor. And the fact she head a "MOTHE—" and then a heavy slam, a dazed blonde falling down on the floor.

Ordinarily this would have been a moment of humor for Haruhi, but the dark presence in the room told her otherwise. She tried desperately to look back, tilting her head in the direction of the door. The twins on top of her were frozen in what seemed to be fear, as forceful steps pounded to the tangle of limbs that was Haruhi and the twins. She winced, now able to detect the purple aurora radiating from the newly arrived member, who didn't seem to be that pleased. As if a machine, she twisted her neck back up, to stare directly at the ceiling. In her line of vision was all five feet ten inches of their missing host, eyes visible for once, through his lenses.

His stare, to the naked eye, was a fearsome thing to behold. The twins all but leaped off Haruhi, backing up, hands in mock surrender. The death gaze of the Shadow King was focused on them two. Two black orbs of pure evil, they would describe later, were trying to devour their souls it seemed, in his glare. He all but had to make a few, stiff steps toward the cowering Hitachin's before they scrambled off, zooming past Kyouya, each taking a side of Tamaki and lifting him out also. They knew when they had gone too far, and now, with a still incoherent Tamaki in their grasp, they had gone too far. Better to flee and live then die in battle.

So Haruhi, also a bit scared at Kyouya's sudden appearance and mood, silently lifted herself up to a sitting position. He appeared to have disappeared from sight though, when she brought her gaze back to the space in front of her. Only his bag and notebook was on the table, and before she could think it, a squeal left her lips. Her arms were being thrust roughly into her jacket sleeves, she wincing as Kyouya's grasp pinched the skin through her sleeves. "Umm…Kyouya-sempai?" She was returned with no answer, and pushed forward rather harshly away after the jacket was back on her, silently wrinkled but no worse for wear. She stumbled forward a few steps, eyes narrowed at Kyouya's sudden display of harshness, for she was rubbing her arms. His grasp hurt, not to mention his fingers were as cold as ice. But then again, what else to expect from the Shadow King?

When she regained her balance Kyouya was, not surprisingly, sitting at the table in front of her, pineapple laptop already out, him typing away. She stepped forward a bit more, for now she could see that something else wrong with her sempai. _No, not her sempai._ An unfamiliar tingle ran up her spine as she rethought the phrase. _With the sempai. Not hers._ She shook her head, and walked up closer to the typing figure. He failed to give his glasses the all familiar glare they had, and instantly, upon staring into his naked eyes, she sighed, leaning back against the table, arms still hurting but crossed. "What happened Sempai?"

Kyouya's hands froze mid-type, although in reality he wasn't typing anything. He wasn't thinking anything either, just trying to calm down. The rage he felt as he opened the door, the twins on top of Haruhi. His teeth clenched, his slim fingers already tucked to his palms. He could only imagine what Haruhi suspected, for this had not gone according to plan at all. Here he was, in display for Haruhi's observations. Why he had glared out at the twins, he couldn't explain why. It just was that seeing them there, Haruhi under, it just-

With a slam he brought his closed fists to the keyboard, letting loose on the screen a random scattering of numbers and letters. It seemed his mind wasn't faring any better, for he was just as confused inside. Haruhi leaping back in surprise only made matters worse. Now he was probably scaring her, just lovely.

_Told you something like this would happen if you kept it up._

"K-Kyouya-sempai, what's wrong?"

_I mean, you already are in deep trouble with that stunt in Mr. Whitmore's class, and you didn't really make matters better after school._

"Sempai! What happened?!"

_Oh boy, this is going to be much fun. With what you starting to lose it, the dream, Haruhi. Ha! You're not sure of anything anymore are you? _

"SEMPAI?!"

_You know, you're just making everyone worried now. With you acting so out of character and all. You touched Haruhi even! Granted it was to put her jacket back on, but you broke rule number one you had with her right?_

_Shut up._

"Shut up!"

With a squeak Haruhi, her hand already on Kyouya's shoulder trying to shake him out of his daze, was flung back suddenly as Kyouya yelled out, eyes muddled at her figure. The chair turned with a scrape, and the commoner girl was met face to face with the youngest Ohtori.

Haruhi didn't break her eyes away, and right in front of her she saw Kyouya's slate-grey eyes, and the inner turmoil past them. They weren't keeping up the stoic façade of detachment Kyouya often out up, but instead were twitching, flitting around. With, no, it couldn't be fear. But then, as if in reaction to her thoughts, Kyouya lowered his gaze, refusing to look at Haruhi. Eyes downcast, his normally well-kept black helmet of hair sprung out, in the natural state of random and unruly spikes it was. His glasses slipped down, greeting the hard surface of the floor with a clatter. He made no movement to pick them up, nor did he even make any notice that they fell off. Kyouya Ohtori, the backbone and all powerful King of the Shadows was now a quivering form on the chair in front of her, hands shakily brought up, pressed against his forehead. The black bangs sprouted out past his fingers, his eyes shut closed. He was done, this was ridiculous.

_But at least you're doing something. I mean, even if you are acting like a poor, little lost boy in front of Haruhi, wouldn't it be worth it?_

_But then I can't, my defenses, nothing will matter anymore. I might as well grow soft and sprout nonsense like Tamaki. I'm no better than him now._

_Do you really hold Haruhi's opinion of you that high?_

Kyouya groaned out, his mouth muffled against his palms. But then, before he could even prepare, thin arms slipped around his waist. He could feel the pressure of her head butting against his chest, her warm breath blown against his torso. Still, this sudden contact caught him off guard, and Kyouya just hitched his breath, straightening up in surprise. Contact, was something he wasn't a fan of. Ever since he was small Kyouya would shy away from the few hugs he received, just not comfortable with people touching him.

_There you go repressing again…_

But with Haruhi, now. Her hug was surprisingly warm, it was something he yearned. Which was why he was more scared, no, never scared. Even now, Kyouya Ohtori was never scared. Which was why he was more, slighted. He felt his chest constrict, a jolt run through the moment her dark-brown feathered hair touched him. But it was so warm, so comforting. This was why he awkwardly pulled back his arms from his face, and held them out. Almost wrapping around Haruhi, but no quite. He couldn't, he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure. For it would still hurt him, somewhere on the inside. And Kyouya hated that, hated to feel weak and hurt, like a lost little boy.

_Repressing is bad, it stirs up more lost memories…_

So although it pained him, he dropped his arms, letting them droop placidly at his sides. She still was hugging him, so he just tilted his head back, clearing his throat, preparing to speak. Her words met his though, so he let her just talk.

"I'm sorry if this is so forward Sempai, but something is wrong. With you. And my mother, she often said that hugs were always the sure-fire way to make things feel a little better."

Her words came out muffled, and Kyouya let in a deep breath, disagreeing with her words. Hugs, quite on the contrary, didn't make things better. It only made you worse. It made you want to be hugged again, and to always feel that embrace. And that exactly was where hugs trapped you, for what if you couldn't get another hug?

_That's right, they're a dangerous drug aren't they? And you would know that better than anyone right Kyouya-boy?_

He shook his head, but contradicted his true thoughts by not shrugging the girl off. "You are always a wonder with what you do Haruhi. I never know what you're going to do next." He gave this out in a whisper, a whisper that made the hairs on her neck stand on end. She pulled back her head, tilting it back to stare at Kyouya's face. He was trying, but still failed, to her. He looked a bit better, but his eyes, no one could hide their eyes.

Giving a slight frown she began to pull her arms back, to give Kyouya space. If she wasn't so close to him, she would have missed his request altogether.

"N-No. Don't. I'm not scolding you." Her face lowered, cheeks growing warm, although she couldn't figure out why in the slightest. It was just Kyouya, and he just told her to keep on hugging him. So what? Didn't she just say that everyone needs hugs? But he stuttered, and no matter how macho he wanted to play that off, the damage was done.

Haruhi knew it, and Kyouya did as well. He was losing it, and he was lost. The only thing left was a step Kyouya himself didn't know. What more could he do? How much more could he possibly weaken, in front of the girl?

_But who said this was an act of weakness? Baring your problems and troubles, haven't you done this with your sister at least?_

But those were idle, trivial problems, not in the emotional capacity Kyouya currently was burdened with. To just bare out his soul to Haruhi, a commoner, a person he himself was, wary of, at times, it was ridiculous. But it also was the only person the boy could turn to. He needed to talk, this emotional weight tying on to him too much. It was only a matter of time before he made a mistake, one that could very much cost him his family's respect. And that was all Kyouya lived for really. No matter how much he hated to admit this, it was true.

So, in the afternoon light of the third music room, Haruhi still embracing him, Kyouya shut his eyes, already aching from the absence of glasses. And he kept telling himself that they were moist because of the strain he was under, the stress. His inner mind was screaming for escape, as he, in a swift motion, raised his arms, and crushed the girl to him. He remained oblivious of her reaction, of the world around him. For the first time, since so long ago, he buried his face in her hair, the sweet strawberry smell that was ultimately her engulfing his senses. She was a nice smell, not a horrid one. Her gasp of surprise fell on deaf ears, for Haruhi was now his anchor, his last chance in such a short period of time. He tightened his hold, locking her in iron-clutches. She didn't push away, she too just as shocked as he was by his actions. She continued to embrace him as well, cheeks blazing and eyes wide open, yet not really staring at anything. She did notice when two simple drops trailed down, and when they fell lost in her locks, salty and wet.

The Shadow King had found his light, and was not willing to let it go for the moment. With shut eyes he only smelled her scent, trying to placate the fears and scents his dream was trying to creep back, to spoil it all. But here as he sat, his wall of glass now thoroughly shattered, his soul left bare, it came back.

_YoYo-chan…_

He didn't want it to, but it did. For when the good comes, the bad was sure to follow. Which was why, his words muffled through the Haruhi's now wet hair, he asked for help. Which was why, through a trembling body, he near pleaded out a sentence that hurt so much to say. "H-Haruhi. I'm…I'm…I'm scared."

Yes, the youngest Ohtori was scared; he had been the whole time.

_YoYo-chan…_

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**Well now, this certainly is longer than I planned it. 22 pages of typing, but I guess I just was really eager to type this out. I've wanted to write a Kyouya Haruhi story forever, and finally found my inspiration I guess. So yes, I'm definitely planning to make this long-term. I can't guarantee the chapters will be as long as this, but I am guaranteeing around 3,000 words average for every remaining chapter, at least. So reviews please are welcome ^^ I need to know if I'm making them ooc. Something I despise above all else. So yes, tis all from me for now. And I'm always welcome to hear your suggestions, especially on where to have this story go from now. So until next chapter I suppose…**

**~ja ne!**


	2. Laughter

_When you leave yourself bare, what more do you really have left? Perhaps some would say that your loved one would always stay by you at this point, or a true friend will pull you through these weathered times, but really, will they? Isn't it a normal fear that you may very well be left alone, discarded after all your troubles, both emotionally and physically are known? Is there really a special someone out there, one who would take the time to understand you and possibly help, one who could so easily just whisper out her love? Would I hate myself for having to remain silent in reply?_

* * *

"I'm…I'm…I'm scared."

There, he did it, he had just bared one of the deepest parts of his soul bare, open for humiliation. But Haruhi, she was kind than that, wasn't she? Out of all people certainly she would understand the magnitude of what he just did, the personal strength it took on his end to just open his mouth. Not that he denied it, as of yet.

But here he sat, on the edge of a flimisy tea table chair with Haruhi in his arms. His face was buried in her air, still eagerly consuming Haruhi's scent, one that wasn't horrible. And his tears, when had they appeared? He lifted his head from her bed of brown, staring blankly at the wet spot he had turned the top of her head into. He didn't dare move his arms though, for her hug, he still wanted, still needed.

_Haha, once again I was right. Look at you! You've become soft after only a few minutes of weeping your heart out?_

Kyouya ignored his inner thoughts. They had gotten him nowhere. He was hugging Haruhi out of his own accord, and its effects were already making him feel a slight better. But not much. Still the nagging thoughts and burdens were rushing out, and it took all of Kyouya to avoid yelling them out to the girl. The empty room was enticing to do so, they surely wouldn't be disturbed.

But not here, not now. Kyouya wanted to revel in her warmth more, wanted more of the light. And there was the fact that she hadn't replied yet. That onto itself was, scaring, him. What would she say? 'I'm sorry you're scared but go see a psychiatrist?!' He cringed, loosening his grip slightly. To be thrown off, brushed to the side like he had already been so many times in his life. That would destroy him. Especially now.

_Well, everything would be fine and dandy is someone hadn't just_ _found the need to "open up."_

_Why don't you just go away now? You obviously hadn't done anything to make me feel better._

_And for good reason! Look at yourself! Trails of tears on your cheeks, eyes blank, you clutching the poor girl like she's no more than a teddy bear, or some blanket for the-_

_Don't go there. Stop._

_Hehe. So you're still repressing? You know you can't get proper help if you do that all the time. Just brush off those sensitive areas in the minefield that has become your mind._

_I'll deal with them in due time, for last I checked I was the conscious mind and you the sub-conscious. Who had the role of leader here?_

"Kyouya-sempai?" Haruhi's mind was swimming, at the moment completely stupefied. She already was in a state of shock as Kyouya reached out to her, but for him to say, he was scared? The great man behind it all, who could scare off killers with but a single glance and the appearance of his cell phone, is scared? Lost, confused, hurting? Haruhi couldn't understand it, yet she didn't want to, for the moment.

Her mother taught her that everyone needs some comfort once and a while, no matter how strong and stable they seem on the outside. And her lesson went well, for Haruhi could remember exactly when every other member of the host club needed her advice. Even Mori, probably more quiet than Kyouya even she had come to with a few comforting words and support. But Kyouya, the Shadow King? Never.

Of course they had their moments, such as during their adventure in the mall. It was there that Haruhi learned that Kyouya, with all his illusions of shadows, really was a being with a kind-heart. He really was a boy, just like any of the other idiots she had come to work with. A boy just as fascinated with commoner life, or just having some fun, no matter how small. And then there was that fateful night in the beach house, when she first had her one on one moment with Kyouya. She wasn't scared during the whole ordeal, just saw it as a matter of fact plan by him. That she supposed was where she started to think about Kyouya, and his motives.

He said motives and merits ruled what he did, and Haruhi would oftentimes try to prove him wrong. No one could just be doing things for reputation or good standing, without feeling and good inside while you did it. So perhaps that was why Haruhi always expected this moment to come, the time when Kyouya would somewhat snap. What other plausible reason could she have for a crying Shadow King hugging her?

Or at least had hugged her, since he now seemed to be leaning away, backing off from this moment. She tilted her head back to try and glimpse at his face, frustrated to see he had closed it off again. His black bangs were conveniently turned down, hiding his eyes from her vision. His arms drooped down, head turned to the side, still avoiding the girl. Kyouya was closing up again, and it crushed her heart to see him doing so.

"I-I'm sorry for troubling you like this Haruhi." And he was, really he despised himself, as he often did lately, for forcing Haruhi to put up with his feeble irrationalities and fears. But he wanted to talk so badly, he wanted to lock them up in a room for all eternity, and just cry out his heart, yell out his life story. But there he was, his thinking going off track again. He took no response from Haruhi as one of disinterest, as one of shock.

It was only natural, for he did just take a complete U-turn from his normal temperament. His normal temperament, one as a robot who pushed things to the side, never really taking the time to stop and think about his life. But he digresses, as he had been doing lately. Haruhi had slipped off him as he shrunk away, so she now was standing in front of the pitiful form that was him. He couldn't stand to look at her, while she probably had a face of disgust or being dumbstruck. He already had wiped out most of his dignity, why trample any more of it?

But he didn't care for that anymore, he wanted to stop. Wasn't that what hugging Haruhi and confiding in her slightly meant? He wouldn't have done it if he didn't wish it, but could his latest actions just be another painful slap to the face that he was losing his mind? Was him, acting so, so, Tamaki-esque, could that be an ominous sign of himself in but a few years? He shook his head, taking care to rest his forehead on the cool metal that was the table in front of them. He had no idea what to do from here. And having no plan, acting on emotions alone, that too was scary.

So Haruhi felt her heart tug in two, as Kyouya seemed to shrink away from her. He obviously needed to talk, he was in dire need of some guidance. But still, she wondered why he went to her. She never noticed that Kyouya had paid special attention to her; in fact it seemed that she was one of the most distant people to him in the club. Sure they talked, but it was always about the club of her debt or some other materialistic topic. Never anywhere near emotions did she get with him, except for those few times, already just memories in her mind. Such as the mall or beach house. So she was royally confused why he didn't go up to his best friend or even someone in his family.

Haruhi knew little of Kyouya's family life, but she did know he had a father she would admit to calling over-domineering, and she knew of the struggle between Kyouya and his two older brothers. But sadly that was all she knew of his relatives and relationships. And it did strike her odd there was never mention of a mother, but then again, many of the hosts too didn't seem to have a particularly close relationship with their maternal parent, so she brushed it off as nothing.

But if Kyouya needed anything right now, it was to just empty his heart and mind out, and get rid of all the burdens he had. So she took a step forward, placed a hand on his shoulder, and asked him a simple question, in a clear voice. She had to be strong, for Kyouya now.

"What are you scared off?"

Kyouya's eyes grew wide, and he lifted his heavy head a few inches off the table. Her hand on his shoulder was so comforting and gentle, so much like and unlike the grasp the hand had in his dream. Could he perhaps have a chance now, dare he answer? But no, this certainly wasn't the place to answer. He had to feel safe, he had to be in the confines of his own room, preferably under his blanket and curled up next to Haruhi, hugging her close and-

He froze, his head halfway up from the surface and turned towards Haruhi. An eyebrow of his did twitch, wondering through all the chaos that had just occurred inside him, when did that thought enter his mind? And why, it was completely irrational. Yet irrationality was something that had grown for poor Kyouya, so he just discarded that fleeting thought as his hormones and emotions building up and bursting. Although, there wouldn't be anything wrong if Haruhi wanted to curl up next to him. It would be a pleasant distraction; perhaps she would soothe his dreams. The ends of his mouth turned up but a few centimeters at this thought.

_There you go again, thinking of her as no more than a blanket. Hey, didn't you used to-_

He fitted his face to a blank stare, and got up from the chair. His mind was made up, and if Haruhi really cared to hear what he had to say, then he was going to allow just that. So in a burst of speed Kyouya managed to gather his notebook and laptop, stuffing them both in his schoolbag. With one arm he held that up, the other reaching out for Haruhi's arm. He never broke his stride as he proceeded to walk out, only stopping when she defiantly stood her ground.

He was puzzled, wondering why on earth Haruhi wasn't going along. He hadn't been too harsh, too forward? He hoped not, and already her simple act of not going along was bringing back a tidal eave of insecurities. He stiffened, his grip on her arm sliding down lower to her wrist, yet still as tight as ever. He looked up, his black tufts of hair blocking a clear line of sight. Haruhi's eyes lit up, as if only realizing what she had just did.

"Oh no! I'll come with you, it's just that you never answered my question and you, um well, forgot your glasses." With her free hand she pointed down to a few feet next to her, where his treasured spectacles lay discarded on the floor. He cleared his throat, trying to not seem entirely like a fool in front of her. "Oh, well yes. I did." He dropped his bag, a frightened jolt ripping through him when he realized he much rather hold onto her wrist than his own belongings. Gulping, still trying to appear collected, he slipped them on, picked up his discarded bag, and resumed walking them both out.

He remembered her question as they left the music room, Kyouya pausing, dropping his bag and tacking out the key to lock it. After slipping it back in his pocket he bent down, picked up his schoolbag, and gave her wrist another squeeze as he led them both along. Haruhi was finding it particularly difficult to keep up, as his brisk and long strides quite different from her short, slow ones. Not to mention her arm was aching from near being yanked out of its socket. Yes Kyouya seemed to be in a delicate state right now, and human contact was naturally what one would seek, but wasn't he pulling it a tad far.

Haruhi felt the urge to smile as a fleeting thought entered her mind. Thank goodness the school seemed to be empty, or else all chaos would ensue seeing Kyouya Ohtori near holding hands with the male student Haruhi Fujioka. But then why wasn't she pulling away? Her cheeks grew warm again, an unfamiliar tint of red spreading across. It wasn't because she liked it, it was just because it was unexpected, and she felt embarrassed. This was Kyouya who was currently dragging her through the halls of Ouran, locking her in a hold as if she might want to drag pull away at any second. Who knew the Shadow King could be so insecure?

She was pulled out of the richly painted scenery, and greeted with a rush of the mild and balmy spring air. She took a deep breath, finding it helpful to clear her thoughts. A part of her was still irked though, for Kyouya hadn't felt the need to answer her question which apparently fast-forwarded all this movement. A part of her was still glad to see Kyouya hadn't fully changed, for he already was at his phone, requesting a limo. Although, only to her she could sense that Kyouya's grip on the phone was harder than normal. So he still was bothered, he still was uneasy about something.

In no time at all the limo came and wordlessly Kyouya stepped in, dragging rag-doll Haruhi beside him. His faithful bodyguard Tachibana shut the door closed and then proceeded to pull out of the near gold-paved driveway, an uneasy air now settling between the two. Kyouya coughed, and placed the bag in the space between them, bringing that now free hand to cover his mouth, as a balled fist. His other hadn't made a move to budge, so even now Haruhi's wrist was threatening to be cut off from circulation. She sighed, leaning back in the plush seats of the Ohtori limo. This was all seeming more and more like a dream, Kyouya's actions not helping her disprove that theory.

He was acting the least like Kyouya she had ever known, his actions seemingly unpredictable and emotional based. Not that she would shun him, for if his current state of mind was any indication, doing anything to taunt or shrug off the glasses-clad boy would only drop him lower in a state of despair and panic he already was in. Although by looking at him now, most would think nothing was wrong.

Even though he felt shattered on the inside, his outwards appearance still was one of calm confidence. And only now was it the biggest lie of his life. He leaned his head against the window, hair splaying across in random patches. His jacket was rumpled, eyes visible through the lenses, and looked like he was about to either cry or flee any second. And for Haruhi, even with all her outside attitude she developed by sticking around with these idiots, her nurturing side still ran deep. Which was why she knew to not push him, that being there at his side was all he wanted probably for the moment.

As they soon approached the Ohtori mansion Kyouya tried to ignore Haruhi's scoff, for it was only natural. She always would show disdain for their riches, it was just part of her nature. It wasn't a reflection on him. He nodded to no one in particular, stepping out easily and pulling Haruhi along, leaving his bag of treasured belongings in the limo. Thankfully it was a Friday, so no homework to be done, as Tachibana whisked the bag to be put away. As if homework was something he would even felt like doing. As Kyouya entered his mansion of a house, the shocked glances given by the bowing maids he ignored. He was lost in his own little world again, a world of mindless thoughts and worries running rampant.

_Well now, what do you expect to happen once you settle in and get all nice and comfy? Have you stopped at least once to evaluate what you had just done? You, the Shadow King, have just broken all rules regarding to contact and emotions, allowing yourself to let Haruhi of all people see the inner you, and here you walk holding her as if she would bolt any second away screaming. Not that I would blame her. But don't you see, how can you possibly get yourself out of this mess? And what if any of your brothers see you, your father? Granted they may not be home, but surely you're going to want to keep these sessions going with your little head shrink girl yes?_

Kyouya clenched his teeth, almost growling it seemed to the air. He wasn't using her just as a psychiatrist. He just wanted to talk to someone about these stupid fears and dreams and feelings, so he could get his life back on track. So he could become the Kyouya Ohtori everyone knew and feared.

_Isn't that what a psychiatrist does?_

Making a point to shut off his mind, Kyouya swung the door open to his room, locking it shut as Haruhi stepped in, slightly dazed. She had never been in any of the host club's rooms, but already she felt that Kyouya's was probably the grandest of all. It was an apartment, practically a small house! She was standing in what she assumed to be the living room of his, room, with a flat screen TV already larger than she felt necessary mounted on the wall. Modern furnishings to match the rest of the house's style were scattered about, and Haruhi spied across the room were stairs, which led to most likely the bedroom part of his, bedroom.

Kyouya, frustrated at her lack of response and apparent gawking gave her arm a quick tug, before practically throwing her down on the couch, him still holding her right wrist and settling down a few cushions away. He leaned back, and gave her a quick glance. He had no idea in the slightest what to do now. And he mentally cursed his sub-conscious for being right.

Haruhi barely had time to yelp out in protest as she was flung on the couch, and snapped her head to the right, to take notice of Kyouya's staring. She sighed, adjusting her body so she could turn and face Kyouya easier, her legs now pulled up under her on the couch cushion. His hand moved with her, so she still couldn't break free her arm. She cleared her throat, trying to decide where to start.

"Ano, Kyouya-sempai? I guess you would like to start talking now?" Kyouya, his face blank and marble-grey eyes placid merely nodded. She shifted her shoulders, trying to deiced how to approach the situation without making Kyouya seem more, miserable than he already was. For even if he did look pitiful, she knew Kyouya would want to be treated like anything but that. Which was why she was shocked to see him open his mouth seconds before she was going to.

"It all started with this bothersome dream. It wasn't that bad at first, for it just brought up some unpleasant memories I'd rather just die out. But lately it's gotten worse and worse, and last night it had a new development which I suppose just unhinged my already tried nerves even more. Which was hwy I was late to the Host Club this afternoon, for I was told to stay after class. It was nothing, for I succeeded in convincing that teacher it would be highly disadvantageous to allow my detention, if you will, to continue. But then as I entered the third music room seeing those idiotic, stupid, annoying, meddlesome…" Haruhi only nodded her head in response to every adjective he was currently using to describe poor Hikaru and Karou, "…baboonish, air-headed, gits, something snapped again I fear, which caused the whirlwind of events that had currently taken place this past half hour, and why I am here, against my better judgment, wanting to be heard out."

Only Kyouya could say so much and yet so little in an explanation. And only he could sound so sophisticated yet confused as well. She gave him a sad smile, scooting closer to his sitting form. She took note when he flinched slightly at her sudden movement, then settled back into the couch. That was something she would ask about later, and she took note to remember it. But now she was here, with the current problem at hand.

"Well Kyouya-sempai, while I can understand that probably took a lot to say, I'm afraid you have to be more descriptive than that." The ever blunt Haruhi spoke, and Kyouya felt a bit hurt. It did take a lot to talk out, for after crying in front of her and all, he had near no dignity left. It was hard to even look at her. Seeing those brown orbs stare back at him, so understating and innocent and driven, he didn't deserve it. Why should he, just a teenager struggling with his current state of life, deserve her company?

But Kyouya was a selfish man, something he would rarely admit to, although he knew it was true. Which was why he wanted more of her, he wanted more of her comfort. It seemed like he didn't feel the need to talk in front of her, so much as he was allowed to hold onto her. Who knew a single presence could be so comforting?

_But you do know, right Kyouya boy? Wasn't there someone else who raked up these feelings inside you before? This want for comfort and just to be held and told everything was alright?_

As she scooted closer he pulled her in, succeeding in dragging her backwards across the empty space left between them. After a quick few seconds she found herself sideways on Kyouya's lap, her short legs sticking out on the rest of the couch. His arms found their way across her body again, and sure enough the commoner girl felt herself be encaged in the insecure, yet wanting grip of the Shadow King. As his forehead fell onto the top of her head, she wondered when exactly he had become so, physical. If she caught the gist of what he was saying, Kyouya was suffering through some emotional wear and tear, all the result of this dream. And more often than not dreams and stress caused people to shy away from others, not want to latch on like Kyouya currently was doing. But this was Kyouya at hand, and he often did things his own way, often approached life different from others. So she sat there obediently on his lap, knowing that right now to get answers she would have to appease this host. Not to mention the small and jittery sensation that spread across her stomach at being held so tightly by Kyouya. And sure enough the foreign red tint spread across her face again.

Kyouya paid no heed, only focusing on smelling her still damp hair from his tears, that strawberry scent still rampant through her locks. Who would have guess that he, Kyouya Ohtori, would be baring his soul and falling in so deep with his emotions, and another person. And the fact Haruhi hadn't shied away yet, that lit a light of hope in his dark labyrinth of a mind. He would explain everything in time, but right now he just wanted to relish in the comfort and warmth hugging this girl brought him. It was nice, no other word to describe it.

But his fear still was there, that horrid voice, and smell. It kept on haunting him, for Kyouya knew the moment he jumped off the ledge and into someone else so willingly, the moment he trusted with his life, that would be when the beasts of his past would wake from their sleep, when the monsters that scared him all too much as a little boy would chase and gobble him up. It was stupid to think in such terms as a small child, but it was true. He wanted to forget his years as a child, as a small, lost little boy. They were the times of him being weak, when he was naïve and so forward with love.

_Yes, and we all know how that turned out for you. _

Which was why Kyouya, no matter how much it pained him to do so, couldn't bare his heart, not all of it yet. He would try his best, he would keep Haruhi here hostage if that was what it takes, to clear these skeletons out of his closet. But he couldn't tell her everything, he never would. Some things were left to him and him alone, some things had become a part of him over the years. So as Haruhi, his beacon, was locked in his embrace, he began trying to figure out, in his fractured mind, exactly where he should really start. He would tell her his stress, surely she would understand that. Perhaps part of his dream too, so she could get a glimpse of the turmoil reasoning inside him, but certain aspects, not all of his thoughts would he confide in her with.

Such as the voice. No one could know about that. He hitched his breath, the thought of that melodic tune of death whispering out scaring him already. Don't think about it, he couldn't. Put it out of his mind. Which was why he jumped up, startled as his cell, which was on the glass table in front of them began to ring. Haruhi squeaked out, snapped out of her trance she found herself in, as Kyouya was hugging her. The phone was vibrating as well, and was ringing out the all too familiar tune of that pop song a certain mutual acquaintance of the two insisted to be his ring tone.

Now slightly free from Kyouya's grasp, for he was backed up against the sofa, eyeing the electronic device like it was the work of the devil or something. Haruhi shook her head, sighing out of frustration. Of course Tamaki would ruin an important moment, at least for Kyouya's end. She was surprised to find herself more than annoyed though at the blonde, for obviously scaring Kyouya out of his wits, even if it was unintentional. So she lashed out at the phone, flipping it open only to have her ear near yelled off by a very frantic "father". Her eyes narrowed as Tamaki screamed out on and on, not even able to get a word in until about five minutes after opening the blasted phone.

"Oh my gosh Mother what HAPPENED?! I was running around worried sick about you only to be knocked out and kidnapped by those devious twins. When I woke up they only were cowering in the corner of the room, muttering some NONSENSE about you eating the light and taking their souls. Then when I rushed to the music room it was LOCKED, and I had no idea why. Then I thought surely you were KIDNAPPED and the twins popped up out of NOWHERE, saying something about you being left alone with DEARETS DAUHGTER!!! So where is she Mother?!! ARE YOU OKAY AND HWERE IS DAUHGTER??!! I haven't been able to get into contact with her and I'm very scared because who knows what EVIL THINGSs could be happening to her now. For all we know pirate space monkey ninjas could have jumped out of a UFO and taken her hostage, where they will perform evil EXPERIMENTS on her just due to her commoner ways, so we MUST save them. I've called Huni and Mori-Sempai to join the switch, but the twins are being so mean and WON'T help us! They just are muttering to themselves and still scared. WHAT DID YOU DO!? So Mother, please!! HELP US RESUCE HARUHI FROM THE EVIL COWOBY WORM GHOSTS!"

Haruhi remained silent, staring dumb-founded at the phone. She pitied Kyouya, for having to put up with Tamaki's rants more than her. She lowered the phone, turning her head to Kyouya wordlessly. "I thought he said I was kidnapped by pirate space monkey ninjas…"

Two things then happened that shocked Haruhi. The first was having Kyouya reach forward and grasp the phone, snapping it shut with a satisfying snap and flinging it across the room. For Kyouya hanging up on Tamaki, not even throwing one smart-mouthed comment his way, that was odd. The second was the sound that escaped from Kyouya's lips just as soon as Haruhi finished her statement, and the phone was flung across. It sounded like a hiss, or a cross between a smirk of evil and a snort. But no, this was Kyouya she was seeing. And the boy, his eyes and cheeks wet with a new coat of tears had flung his head back, his free hand covering his mouth as his body gave quick jerks, of, it couldn't be_. _Mirth?

Haruhi stared dumb-founded at Kyouya, eyes wide in confusion. "Is Kyouya-semapi _laughing_?" He only nodded in answer, flipping his head forward to greet Haruhi's. Out of his mouth came a short bark, or what one would assume as a chuckle. She really hadn't been that funny with her statement right? Worry creased her brow, as she brought her hands to his shoulders, tilting him back so she could face his snickering face, until they were but inches apart. Laughter was often the language of the insane, and Kyouya laughing, could he have possibly snapped even more?

He couldn't stop, he didn't even have time to flinch as Haruhi brought their faces so close together. But she looked worried, and he couldn't fathom why, he was just laughing. And as he closed his eyes, shut in delusional glee, he sprung forward, closing the distance between the sweet Haruhi's lips and his own. He smiled against the kiss, still shaking. His mind was spiraling down into a tunnel of disillusionment, and he really had no sense of anything at the moment. Was he sick, was he going to go certifiably insane? He just shrugged it all off, ignoring his mind even, just pressing down harder on Haruhi's lips, with the sloppy smack of someone who was an amateur at kissing. Which Kyouya was in fact, not that he would ever tell anyone. He managed to stay still long enough to reach for Haruhi's arms, and he pulled her close, his tears spreading over both their cheeks. Although he wasn't sure if they were happy or sad tears.

_Happy or sad tears? Has someone become 5 again?_

Even his mind was funny now, and he laughed some more, pausing the kiss to take a hiccupping breath before coming in once more, his glasses now sliding up into his hair, their perches behind his ears painfully digging in to the skin. But it was nice, he really was enjoying the feeling. When was the last time he kissed another person?

_Umm well, like when you were 5?!_

He didn't even have an inkling of how Haruhi was reacting, since he scarcely gave her enough time to push away or react. But he did take notice of how cold her forehead was against his, as he sloppily consumed her lips. Did that mean his own forehead was hot, perhaps he was getting a fever.

_Well that would explain a lot…_

Haruhi entered a state of shock as Kyouya kissed her not once, but twice, and froze up. She was a statue in his arms, she only taking note of the extreme heat radiating off Kyouya's forehead as he came in closer the second time. Was he sick? It only made sense that someone undergoing as much extreme stress and emotional toll as Kyouya in such a short period of time would wear themselves down physically, and if these dreams were really as bad as they seemed to be, he probably hadn't receive a good night's sleep in weeks.

Which was why she wasn't surprised as Kyouya, after a few more seconds of assaulting her lips, seemed to shut down, falling back on the couch, with an "oomph" and sigh of contentment. His arms were hanging loosely at his side, eyes closed, glasses askew and tangled in his mass of black hair, and cheeks flushed red. Still not entirely aware of what just happened she brought a hand to his forehead, and sure enough he was burning up.

She wanted to be angry, for her first kiss that counted, at least her first kiss from a guy, was from Kyouya! A delusional one all the same. But as she spied the goofy grin plastered on his flushed face, the image tugged on her heart strings. He looked, cute. In a little kid way. That was what she kept telling herself. But as Haruhi stood up, hand to her still tingling lips, she frowned. Her first kiss from a guy, and Kyouya probably didn't know what he was doing, acting under the influence of his fever after all. As she struggled to straighten out his crooked body and splayed limbs, trying to make him more comfortable for whenever he would awaken from his fit of sickly sleep, Haruhi felt disappointed. She brushed a hand across his spiky bangs, the heat from his brow radiating to her hand.

Of course Kyouya would never act like this during a moment of sanity. He probably just kissed her, because, well…there had to be a reason. But never would Kyouya want to kiss her, or probably even be near her, a commoner, during a time when he was acting normal. Still, why did this thought of reason sadden her so much?

She back away from the couch, walking over to make her way up the stairs. Kyouya surely wouldn't mind if she took a few pillows from his bed to give him on the couch. She knew for a fact she didn't have the strength to carry him up the stairs. So as she walked up, heart heavy and hands trialing on the banisters, she didn't take notice of the grin that wiped off the ill Kyouya's face, and replaced with a frown. She forgot that now, he would be dreaming, again.

* * *

**Well now, that certainly came out pretty long too right? ^^ Well, I guess I just had to make the poor guy sick, what else can you expect from a fluff-loving writer like myself? But don't be alarmed, I will of course mix it with the angst we love so much. Next chapter will have another Kyouya dream. Oh dear, should I go hard on the poor boy? Muhaha. Yes, anyways…review please? Warn me if they're ooc, compliments and flames are welcome I guess, the latter if you want to be mean though and stay tuned for another chappie of this fanfic, which I'll probably have typed up tomorrow. I think that this might end up being a daily update story. Lucky day for all of you readers. And I would especially love to thank you lovely three who reviewed, and especially May Never Know. I always LOVE lengthy chunky reviews ^^**

**~ja ne**


	3. Apprehension

_When you act out of fear, out of disillusionment, are your actions really that justified? Yes you can so easily blame all else on insanity, or just a sudden illness, but is there any honor in that? I can't imagine it really being that hard to prove your actions were of heart, were really a conscious decision. But when you babble the language of the insane, who would really want to believe you? Only a special few would stand by your side, and see through the cold fantasies._

______________________________________________________________________

She forgot that now, he would be dreaming again.

Haruhi got to work, wasting no time to think about what she deemed unnecessary for the moment. She made her way up the stairs easily, spying the pillows already lain so neatly on top of the dark blue sheets. As she picked up two, her eyebrows instantly sprang up, and she muttered the familiar insult she often paid to her friends.

"Damn, rich bastards." It meant no harm really when she said this. It was just another habit she found hard to break, after spending so many months with all these idiots. Her saying it had practically developed into a term of affection. Sometimes.

The pillow's material, a fine velvet or silk crushed noiselessly in her grasp, as she clutched them to her fists. Pillows were pillows and were to be treated as such. No special attention to the object just because it happened to be made of something richer than cotton. Her commoner ways were defiantly ground into her head, and were ways she lived by no matter the circumstance.

Almost conveniently though, as if just waiting for her to approach, Kyouya's cell rang at the base of the stairs, exactly where he had flung in previously. Cursing the caller under her breath she hopped down the remaining steps, dropping the pillows by her side as she bent down to pick up the phone. All she needed was to have Kyouya wake up and unleash the terror the Low Blood Pressure Demon Lord would inflict on the trembling commoner.

She flipped it open, near expecting Tamaki or one of the twins to be on the other end, so with an annoyed tone she snapped a terse "Yes?!" The other end wasn't that clear, but as Haruhi furrowed her brow in concentration she could have almost sworn the caller on the other end was female. Or at least it was someone who could make a high-pitched gasp, or squeal of surprise. Almost seconds after answering, the mystery caller just hung, and Haruhi held out the phone in front of her.

"What the hell?" She muttered, before stashing it in her pocket, slowly shaking her head. All these rich people were the same. Shun someone who doesn't even sound rich! Still terse Haruhi grabbed the pillows from the floor, swinging them as she walked.

Upon reaching the lower half of Kyouya's bedroom she flung them over at the flushed boy, obviously still disgruntled by what she assumed to either be a very rude or snob caller. She wasn't aware that he had fallen into a deeper sleep during her trip to gather the pillows, so his reaction startled her to say the least.

Upon impact with two measly pillows Kyouya yelped out, batting them away as if he was being bombed from the sky. After flailing his limbs for a few more seconds, he ended up on the ground with a THUD, glasses flying past the coffee table.

Haruhi flinched upon hearing the noise, rushing up to the collapsed boy. "Ahh! Kyouya-sempai! Are you okay?!" He seemed to be propping himself back up, but Haruhi reached out for his shoulders, momentarily forgetting how he would jump at such contact.

And sure enough upon her hands touching him he flinched up, succeeding in banging the back of his head against the glass of the table. He hissed out in pain, eyes shut. A hand went to the back of his head, the other pushing Haruhi away so he could stand in peace. It wasn't so much her he was pushing away, but the reaction he gave when she came close. He already had a painful bump growing on the back of his head as proof.

Kyouya hobbled up to a standing position, disoriented from being woken up so suddenly, and from the concussion he was sure he received, after ramming into that damned glass table. Why did he want glass anyway? Why was there even a coffee table? It's not like he ever drank coffee in here, and it really just took space.

_Well, it seems someone in rambling in their thoughts again. Careful, I here that's the sign of insanity._

Still wobbling in place, hands covering the now tender spot in the back of his head, he found his way to the couch, and plopped down on the cushioned surface. He curled up near the end, only opening his eyes to address Haruhi when he managed to tuck into a defensive near-fetal position on the couch.

His voice, still tinged with pain, came out low and strained. "Haruhi, why the hell did you do that?!" He rarely was one to curse in public, but with an aching head, he felt he could let loose some curses. Not to mention he was more out of sorts now than he was about half an hour ago. The fact his bare eyes were glaring at Haruhi for all they were worth didn't help matters that much.

She stood there, trembling, not sure whether the legendary temper of the Demon Lord would be released. She woke him up, and was partly responsible for his now bruised head. Holding her breath she walked up behind the couch, leaning herself over to reach out where Kyouya's hands were currently clamped. Seeing him there curled up into a ball on the couch told her that he wasn't feeling as tough as he was acting, so with a gentle brush of her hand she met Kyouya's.

He shuddered as her the cool touch grazed his, and almost immediately he found himself lowering his hands, tucking them into his body. He slid his glaring eyes shut, letting loose a deep breath he didn't know he was holding in. Her touch, to make him so calm, so quick, it was unbelievable really

_Or perhaps you're just making up for lost time. Someone else used to rub your boo-boo's and say it's all better. Can you give me a name?!_

Kyouya tilted his head up toward her hand, the pain already diminishing as her touch ran through his hair. He kept his face away though, so his look of content wouldn't be visible. He still was one who shied away from letting others know when he was happy. He blamed the Ohtori way he was raised for that small insecurity.

Haruhi raised an eyebrow at Kyouya's seemingly quick attitude change. It only took her to rub his head so her head wouldn't get glared off? Something she should keep in mind for the future definitely. She couldn't deny that running her fingers through his hair, her palm soothingly placed atop his bump didn't feel good. Who knew Kyouya's hair was that soft through all the spikes and hair gel? It knotted through her fingers as she ran them through, and gently tugged back on the knots. So fascinated in the warmth coursing through her did she not take notice of the state Kyouya was in.

The boy's eyes were lazily shut, mouth slightly agape, his breaths coming out in low, audible exhales. He arched his neck, pushing more of his hair into Haruhi's grasp, relishing in the sensation she caused to sprout all through him. Who knew someone simply rubbing your head could feel so, could make you so wanton? As she tugged on the stray tangled knots he never could seem to comb loose, it took a harshly bit lip to keep him from moaning out. His breath hitched, eyes shut once again. He couldn't embarrass himself now, couldn't make a fool of himself. Her being the oblivious girl she was would take a sound of pleasure and probably asses it as a moan of anguish, or some other emotion he was currently nowhere feeling.

Not to mention that she could also possibly be scared off, having no idea why the Shadow King was reduced to a limp being drowning in warmth. Perhaps he was just reacting to bad due to his fever; maybe he was just going light-headed. Somewhere deep down though he knew it was everything but, he just had to admit it.

He Kyouya Ohtori was lusting after Haruhi. Oh lord, how could that have happened? He always made sure to never be distracted or let off guard by such useless hormonal and emotional burdens adolescence often plated in a male such as himself. And it always had been particularly easy to squelch those unnecessarily deemed urges.

_But the state you're in now? Ha! You never had a chance. It seems like poor Kyouya boy has fallen, or at least it seems you let someone else too close in, behind the shadow veils._

Haruhi's hand began to act on its own, and slowly was making its way lower in the black mass. Tufts were swept aside as she timidly approached his neck, fingers inching out and trailing on the base hairs, along the nape of his neck. It was pale, his skin white as most rich children who rarely had to toil or work outside. She didn't scorn this though, in fact she grew mesmerized by how ivory and smooth his tender skin could be. As she dug her fingers harder, nails lightly scraping the surface of such a neck, she was startled by the strangled cry that apparently had come out of Kyouya.

His cheeks were blazing, either from his fever or Haruhi's actions, he wasn't willing to ask. Her moving down caught him entirely by surprise, for did she know exactly what that did to him? Surely she couldn't be as oblivious as previously thought. The second her nails began scratching his tender area, a low guttural sound of pleasure ripped free from his mouth. Thankfully he still was trying to die down such a thought, or else the full, audible extent of his current contentment would have been known. It was bad enough she heard that, noise. But now this warmth was blazing through him, not all of it coming from her hand. He tucked tighter into a ball, inching his face slightly to the couch below. No way could she see his face now.

Haruhi too was facing a dilemma, for right now she couldn't bother hiding her face. It was blazing again, after hearing Kyouya. Did she do that, was this feeling good to him? Just the thought of instilling that much, pleasure, into Kyouya, whether he was delusioned by his fever or not was enough to almost have Haruhi snap back her hands, and run out of the room. But she didn't, a guilty part of her liked what she was doing. Just rubbing his neck was instilling a pit of warmth in her stomach, a heavy gutted feeling. She brought her hand back, excruciatingly slow to Kyouya across his arched neck. She made care to lightly tickle the small black hairs at the base of his hairline, not entirely sure how she knew what to do next. Instincts perhaps? She gave a quiet giggle of embarrassment. Could she really do that?

But he was caught in a pinch. Have her continue and risk some further embarrassment, or try to inch away and get her to stop. If he chose the first then surely it would lead to a repeat of the beach incident long ago. He was male after all, Kyouya or not. Or he could try to stop, make it so both of them wouldn't have to suffer through an extreme act of embarrassment on Kyouya's part. But to stop, he wasn't entirely sure in his already weakened state that he could do so. Especially if she was rubbing down his neck, the nape which had always been a particularly sensitive area for the boy.

_Please. Cool it Romeo. You can't afford to do something idiotic, to become a Tamaki! Luckily I know exactly the thing to snap you out of this state of hazy lust that is making me absolutely sick._

Was his mind talking to him? Kyouya wasn't sure, his breaths becoming more heated as she continued. And that little noise she made a giggle. So smooth to his ears, he wanted to hear more. He wanted her pushed up against him, hands weaving through and rubbing his hair and neck, his back. He wanted her to giggle some more, to give those little sighs so feminine she often hushed out in the host club, out of boredom. But this time he wanted her to give that sigh out of primal contentment, he wanted to make her do that. He wanted to drag her off to a dark room and torture her, make her as mad as she was making him now; he wanted her to be the one forcing her to remain silent, to be struggling to contain the cries of ecstasy she would want to scream out, as he pleasured her relentlessly.

Just admitting those wants, was he sicker than he thought? Could a high temperature do that to you, cause you to escape into fantasies so much easier? For of course he wouldn't be thinking like this, about her, in any normal circumstance. It was true, that he rarely did during the times in the host club when he was sane and able-bodied. So why the change now, why was this want so strong?

_You know, you seriously are turning into a love-sick idiot. So, just because I'm mean like that, I'm going to cut this little teen spirit session short. Do you remember what you were dreaming about when she woke you up?_

Almost instantly he stiffened, eyes opened and his breath cut short. The pit of his stomach was replaced with the ice sensation of fear, wiping away the heated emotions throughout him. He quickly shrugged his neck away from Haruhi, painfully doing so. Why was he so against himself in his own mind, did he really hate himself that much? Who in their right mind would want to relive _that _over having yourself feel comforted by Haruhi?

_I'm only here to get you back on track. So talk with her instead of just lying there with a half-open mouth like a dog whose leg was twitching after a good belly rub._

He winced. Surely he wasn't acting that bad before. Haruhi only took note when Kyouya shied away, and she instantly brought her hands back, wringing them in her grasp. "I'm so sorry Kyouya-sempai! I didn't know I was acting so forward and you didn't like it." She too felt the flames that were ripping through her dying down, replaced with apprehension. She inched around the couch and past the coffee table, settling down in the other couch in front of Kyouya, giving him what she thought he wanted as space.

Kyouya, still lying on the couch, flickered his eyes over to Haruhi's form, almost frowning at her distance. Clearing his throat, he hoped the shakiness was clear as he not yet had fully recovered from his state of, warmth. "No, it was just because I remembered something Haruhi. I wasn't shying away from you." He started to squint, trying to gauge her reaction. He didn't put his glasses on, so everything in front of him had been reduced to a blur of color. "I'm not sure if it's because of my current, condition, but I'm afraid I have no choice but to confide in you once more.

Haruhi gave a slight sigh of relief. At least she hadn't over-stepped any boundaries. But his statement did succeed in hitting a nerve, like he so often did. He still felt confiding in her was a chore? Surely he didn't mean that. She sunk back lower into the empty couch. "Well, then you best be started confiding in me then, although it probably pains you to do so." She couldn't help the bitter tone. For some reason she felt herself caring a bit more what Kyouya thought of her.

Ignoring her tone, he kept his blank stare on the mass of brown he hoped was Haruhi. "Y-You see, I apparently had fallen asleep in the time it took for you to leave my side and, attack me with pillows." She gave a snort of amusement. "Please Kyouya-sempai. I just threw them at you." The side of his mouth twitched. "Moving on, I had another, dream during that period of time. Thus why my behavior was so, off after waking up. To be honest, it unnerved me. The dream, I allowed it to get to me again." He kept his blind gaze at her, still lying topside on the couch. He always felt safer when in such a position, a natural state of self-security among humans, he often gathered. He was past the stage of caring what Haruhi thought of him or not though, in that position. She already was witness to his moment of weakness.

As Kyouya was talking, a stray thought entered her mind. Did he remember what happened before he passed out? She hadn't had a chance to ask him, and this thought bugged her relentlessly. That kiss, was he fully aware of it. It certainly let loose a torrent of unsure thoughts in her head, perhaps which was why she was acting like she did but minutes before. Could that kiss, no matter how disillusioned, caused her to act so out of character, so forward? Was she going to be victim to her unsure feelings on the boy in front of her? He shook her head, hoping not.

"-basically why I feel I'm acting in such a manner." Haruhi's head snapped up. She had let her thinking get the better of her again, brilliant.

She blinked at him, swinging her legs out in the space between the coffee table and the couch. "Kyouya-sempai, perhaps you would feel better if you talked about your dream, or at least the gist of what happened?" She smiled nervously, shrugging her shoulders. "Perhaps I could help more that way." Hopefully her generic response was what Kyouya expected to hear. She couldn't let her thoughts get her away again.

Kyouya saw some movement, and guessed she probably tilted her head or something. He heard her clear enough, and let out a sigh. Yes talking about I may help, but what would it do to him? He felt his stomach clench, just at the thought of having to relive it.

_Pfft. It's not that hard. I'll help. It started off like normal, and ended where it usually did. You over that cliff, that lovely voice calling out to you. "YoYo-chan, YoYo-chan." A pleasant memory yes?_

He clenched his teeth, damning his sub-conscious for bringing up such thoughts. Apparently his mind never heard of taking things slowly. But he straightened up slightly, raising his neck towards Haruhi. "I basically was being held in someone's grasp, over a very large cliff. She dropped me, after saying a word, and then you woke me up."

Haruhi didn't buy that. He said it too fast and too easily for the dream to end there. Which was why she gave him a "humph", arms crossed, still sitting against the couch. "Kyouya-sempai, if you want me to help you, you need to tell me everything." In a softer voice she gave him a sad smile. "It's fine Kyouya-semapi. I'm not one to judge or make early conclusions. I really want to help, but if all you do is dodge around and evade like you often do with your feelings and other people, well I very well should leave now shouldn't I?"

No, she shouldn't leave yet. But he too couldn't just spill out his dreams so easily. All he needed was her being able to psycho-analyze him in some Freudian way, and figure out more about him than he knew about himself. This was why he turned away from her, eyes straining against the absence of his glasses.

"It's not as easy as you make it Haruhi. Unlike yourself I was raised in a household and family where you couldn't be so, open. You have Ranka-san, a figure much like Tamaki as you know. Which only means that you can be and are so comfortable with raw emotions, and feelings. I am not. I tend to just stash hidden fears or useless insecurities away, to deal with this environment. It's the fate of anyone who would grow up, in here."

That certainly was a longer answer than she expected. In fact, it seemed he revealed more to her of how he felt and why than she ever head heard prior. Instead of growing frustrated she felt proud, and had more to think about. He mentioned his family quite a bit. It would only make sense he held some contempt. But how deep did that run, what was bugging Kyouya now, of all times, to make him crack this way. She leaned forward, resting her crossed arms over her legs.

"Tell me Kyouya, has something big happened these past few weeks? This all started a few weeks ago yes? Did someone in your family do something that affected you more than you thought?"

Kyouya shook his head no. Not particularly. Which was why he was puzzled just as much as her.

Haruhi bit her bottom lip, a habit she developed when thinking hard. A thought then blipped through her mind, reminiscent of what Kyouya had mentioned earlier. About his dream. She couldn't believe why she had overlooked it before. In a clear voice, she called out to him. "About your dream Kyouya-sempai. You mentioned being held over a cliff, and someone whispering a word to you." She knew she was going somewhere after seeing Kyouya visibly flinch after that statement. This was the sensitive spot. "What did the voice say?"

_Damn, she is too sharp and perceptive for her own good. _

_Isn't that one of her good traits?_

_Not if it's being used against me._

_Why do you feel everyone is out to get you? She only wants to help, as you very well know._

But no, that was one thing he couldn't answer. Haruhi was sitting, and if he knew her she probably had a look of satisfaction, for thinking up of something so clever. Kyouya frowned, raising his voice slightly. "Why don't you just mind your own business Haruhi?"

Incredulity spread across her features, mouth open. "You're the one who wanted to talk! And if you are already acting so much like a, rich bastard to me just because I hit a tender spot, you think I'm going to stop?!" She got up, and briskly made her way to Kyouya's couch, settling herself down near him. "I'm not giving up Kyouya-semapi. Tell me what the voice said."

"No."

"Yes."

"No.

"Tell me.

"No."

"Kyouya-sempai."

"…No."

"Please?"

"…"

Haruhi grinned. She didn't expect to be breaking him already. Kyouya was feeling the exact way, blaming his light-headedness for already threatening to crack so easily. Still, the pride in him didn't want to be pleaded out of answering. He was an Ohtori after all. A fact so easily presenting himself to him now. But her nagging, it was trying his already weakened nerves. Which was why he felt the need to yell out at her.

"She didn't say anything!"

_Aha. Can you say, busted?_

Haruhi caught his slip-up as well, leaning in closer to the huddled him, voice low. "Who's she Kyouya-sempai?" He was getting there, she only had to be patient a while longer. When it's important, her perseverance could be borderline stubborn, as stubborn as the Shadow King himself at times.

He purposely ignored Haruhi's presence growing near, knowing it would throw him off even more. He already slipped up, something that would have never happened had he been acting perfectly normal. Yet he wasn't, for he still had a bruised head, flaming forehead, and his mind was still sluggishly caught between tackling the girl to the couch to hold or shrugging her off, and ultimately causing her to just leave. The fact she was trying to make him break with that voice, it was simple not fair. Knowing her she probably had no idea to what extent Kyouya was willing his self-control to hold.

_You really do look 5 again. You curled up on a couch, stubbornly refusing to listen to the person who wants to help you the most. Oh yes, don't mind me. I forgot you're still trying to repress everything._

Hearing another sign from her caused him to snap his attention back to the present, at the question at hand. Two questions, impossible for him to answer. For even acknowledging one of them, would bring it all back. Everything he so carefully guarded and hid, after years of hiding. He was willing to change, willing to open up on all other matters. So why did Haruhi choose the exact area he simply couldn't? Talking about it, he couldn't.

He voiced these thoughts. "I will answer whatever else you ask, except those two questions." He sunk his head even lower in the cushion. "For I simply can't. Not going to happen Haruhi, as much as it pains me to say it." And it did, really. Kyouya wanted to be honest with her, he felt it only right after all she has done. Especially after all she had done.

_Really, is just answering one of those things that scary? Just say a simple "YoYo-chan, or a simple-_

"But I'll be here. Nothing bad will happen Kyouya-sempai, if you tell me surely. I have the feeling what you say, it's connected to your past isn't it? Something that only makes sense. Even I have bad dreams sometimes, about when I was little. Sometimes I even dream about my mother, even though she's dead. And I find those dreams the most painful, because nothing can stop them." Haruhi, ever wise in her commoner wisdom, had succeeded in placing a shaky hand on Kyouya's shoulder, her body leaning against his fetal form. "Whisper it, write it down even if you can't say it. I won't think you're a baby for doing so, really. We all have our ghosts, our fears haunting us. That's why it's up to friends and the people closest to you to help weather through the bad times." She gave him a smile, giving his shoulder a small squeeze. "I'm only happy that you felt I was close enough to you to confide in. Kyouya-sempai, thinking that, allowing me to see a side of him few others see…"

Her words, as she said them, it started a sudden thumping in his chest. A strange feeling, for it wasn't embarrassment, it wasn't lust, it wasn't because of his current physical state. He leaned into her touch without even thinking, it already becoming near second-nature to him. He felt, happy, with himself? Proud? He huffed out, in disbelief. Rarely was he complimented so genuinely by someone, and it wasn't even for a business-related action! Haruhi was thanking him, for just opening up? How had he missed this part of her, why did it come at such a surprise? She did this to everyone, it was just another piece of the puzzle that was Haruhi. Just another reason why she was so kind, she really was untainted by the cold and harsh truths of this world, even after what she has been through. And a part of Kyouya wanted to keep it that way, he wanted to defend her from all the evil in this world. It was only right.

_Oh, so you're a knight now swearing your loyalty to a princess? Please, think of reality. What are the odds you, in your state, can even think of such a thing?_

Very good apparently, if he had thought of that. Which was why Kyouya felt that perhaps, answering one of her questions wouldn't be that bad. If he was able to take control of the situation. Nodding to himself, his mind was made up. He reached out an arm, blindly brushing it across the coffee table until he came in contact with what he assumed was his glasses, leaning up from his spot on the couch, straighten out to a sitting position. Once the world became clear in his eyes, distinct lines and shadows able to be made out, he turned to Haruhi. Leaning back, he took care that her hand didn't get pushed off his shoulder.

"Haruhi, I take what you said and thank you for it. And I'm willing now to let you go home, to Ranka-san. I am hoping that we could continue these meetings, obviously in confidentiality. All I need is to have any of the idiots, especially Tamaki, to catch wind of this." He crossed his arms, eyes turning to the opposite wall, careful to avoid her gaze. "And I will therefore answer one of the questions you posed, seeing it only right in the state of fairness. But not now."

_Of course you're going to turn this into a complicated and unnecessary plan._

Haruhi sat back, eyebrows raised, only wondering what plan this devious Ohtori would throw out. A threat to stick around or else he start adding a new debt? Forced to be on his beck and call 24/7? It would only make sense the Shadow King wouldn't answer her directly, and it's only natural he would jump so quickly in moods. He didn't seem as sickly as before, and although his eyes were still subdued, not fared with that serious glint in his eyes from weeks back, he seemed a little bit like his old self. Perhaps she really had that much of an impact on him, only saying a little? She made a notion to remove her hand as Kyouya settled back, but froze and blushed instantly as her hand was grasped, almost involuntarily, by Kyouya.

He had her hand, as small and fair as it was, and he tightened his hold on it. He never said to stop contact with him really. He turned to the side, giving her that all-knowing stare which often bugged her. "I take it you not protesting as an answer yes? That is good, I see we're on the same page then." And Kyouya planned to be true to his word, he would tell her something, but not now. It was only spring, and the weekend at that. He would take care that Haruhi would have much more free time in the future, to be spent with him. It was only in their best interests' after all.

_Yours or hers?_

Haruhi, seeing that was as far as an answer she was going to get only nodded in return, her eyes still focused on Kyouya grasping her hand. He hadn't let go yet. It scared and thrilled her at the same time. One could only know what he was thinking. She cleared her throat, trying to pull her hand free. "Kyouya-sempai, I'll take your word for it, and I promise that I won't tell anyone else about what has happened this afternoon or in the future." She too could only imagine Tamaki's reaction to such a thing. Screams of "NOO" and torture for Kyouya by the twins were on the top of her list.

Kyouya smirked. She was trying to free her hand, after all she had been through. Glad that they were able to come to a consensus he got up, walking Haruhi out to the hall. In his doorway he made a gesture to kneel on one knee, hand still in his. "Then I shall keep in touch Haruhi, and if you would be so kind to hand me my cell phone in your pocket I'll let you on your way." His smirk was still evident as she gaped in shock, and quickly snapped her mouth shut as he brought her hand to his lips, pulling a very Tamaki like move.

Wordlessly, she handed him the phone, and dropped her hand loosely as he released it, after giving it a peck. Did that mean he remembered what he did before…? She stumbled back, only nodding her head before being led out by a maid, who mysteriously made her way over. Kyouya nodded to her, flipping open the phone in intent to call him back and soothe things over. After which he would just spend the hours thinking. Now he had something meaningful to think and plan. What to do in regards to Haruhi. Hopefully she had gotten a little more observant as result of his actions, and more understanding of where he was coming from.

It pained him to let her go, but he had to, he still was Kyouya after all. One couldn't attach oneself so eagerly to another person, especially one of interest. It was only right, which was what he kept telling himself as he made his way back to the now empty couch, ignoring the nagging edge inside him. He shouldn't be bothered, he was used to being alone. So what if things were more, lonely? He was going to see her tomorrow anyways, he would make sure of that.

_Besides, you always have your sweet memories to help you. If you have trouble sleeping tonight, just remember how you almost jumped her as she rubbed your head. _

Now alone he allowed his head to sink, propped up a pillow on the floor to the armrest of the couch. Lying down he placed an arm over his forehead, staring up blankly at the wall. That was right, he could just remember that. The feeling, he wanted to relive it. Whether she felt the same or not, Kyouya knew that what she did this afternoon had altered dramatically what he thought of the commoner girl, in all areas, physical and emotional. Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad to let his annoying boyish urges to be let loose, to be humored. It could very well distract his thoughts until the next time he would have a chance to talk to her.

Feeling somewhat calmed down he stared down at his phone, flipping the screen open. He checked the call history, to be sure only Tamaki had called. But as he read the screen, his brow bunched up confused. Tamaki's number was there, but after, someone else had called. Had Haruhi just forgotten telling him about such a thing? It wouldn't be such a bother to him normally, but this number, he had never seen it before. And his cell phone number was kept in secret to only those in the host club and his family. And the idiots he calls his friend know better than to distribute his number without his permission.

But as the number, local which was even more surprising, stared back at him, an uncomfortable air settled around him. His intuition told him this wasn't good, not just an ordinary wrong number. Which would be what he would ask Haruhi tomorrow, Kyouya decided as he dialed to Tamaki. As the blonde answered and began barreling off, Kyouya couldn't help but wonder, in between his words of encouragement to the host club president that he wasn't kidnapped and Haruhi was indeed safe, that something was not right about that number.

_Well, we know one person it couldn't possibly be right, Kyouya boy?_

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**Dundun! Chappie 3 is out for your reading pleasure! Thanks so much for the reviews I've received, they've been helpful and reassuring. ^^ Perhaps this story has a chance, if people already are such fans of it. Which makes me glad, since I'm starting to love this story as well. It's been funny though, no one has really asked me questions about it. Are none of you really that curious is what the deal with Kyouya's jerky sub-conscious, his whole apprehension with YoYo-chan? XD Nah, I suppose it's better that way. So I'll be able to take you all more by surprise as the story progresses!**

**~ja ne**


	4. Fun

_Why did it often seem that just when you decided upon a plan of action, something or someone will come along and ruin it? Or perhaps change that to someoneS. Is it really that difficult to just try and be alone, to be able to at least breathe without the same imbeciles watching your every move? Is it selfish of me to suggest snatching you away and running off to a deserted island? Although they would probably still find us…_

_______________________________________________________________

_Well, we know one person it couldn't be, right Kyouya boy?_

"Why are we here Kyouya-sempai?" Haruhi tugged at the pink tank top she was forced to wear by her father, knocking down one of the straps off her shoulder without fully realizing it. Currently she and Kyouya were seated at an outside café, a few tables away from other diners at his request. Nervously she fidgeted in her wrought-iron seat, ignorant as always of the particular focus Kyouya was paying to her bare shoulder. Not that he was making a spectacle out of it. He did have discretion after all.

"I thought we agreed you would help me without being a bother Haruhi." Kyouya was prepared to have to deal with her usual resentment of being anywhere slight fancy, but he chose a place like this just for her. It wasn't too show-offy, or blaring "sophisticated" like the usual destinations of Kyouya's choosing. Her reaction struck a nerve inside. Unfortunately his whole afternoon with the commoner girl yesterday made him increasingly perceptive to whatever thoughts or emotions radiating off her. Troublesome indeed.

_Oh please. Like you already weren't like that before._

She huffed, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. "Please. I don't remember having any say in this outing besides agreeing to it. It seems to me someone just couldn't resist acting like the rich bastard they are." She would have made her disapproval more widely known, but Kyouya's current state, stopped her. Although any sign he was a crying mess but only yesterday was absent from his features and attitude. It seemed he was just normal Kyouya again, or at least to anyone not like Haruhi.

While he had that calm air of assertion, one look past his glasses and she could still see the rim of red, the slightly muddled storm of grey in his eyes, all signs of his current internal torrent of emotions. So she merely sighed, giving a wary glance to the sidewalk. "Better be careful Sempai. If anyone from school would see us now," she shuddered. "People would think we were on a date or something."

_Ouch. Burn._

Kyouya cleared his throat after she finished talking, urging himself to remember this was the blunt Haruhi in front of him. "I wouldn't be worried too much about that, especially about the host club." Kyouya lowered his head to her, glasses flashing dangerously in the noontime sun. "I made sure that they would be kept, occupied, for the duration of our d-. Outing." He almost slipped up, a fact he blamed on the heat, faulty thought process and Haruhi. Not necessarily in that order.

Haruhi bunched up her brow at Kyouya's statement. "Ano, you didn't do anything evil to them right?" Haruhi was all but familiar with the threats Kyouya could pull out to someone to stay away. "They aren't locked up in a secret Ohtori underground jail I don't know about right?" She didn't bother hiding the nervous tone in her voice. With Kyouya, anything was possible.

He smirked, slinging one arm over the back of his chair, leaning away from the table as well. "Please. Underground jails? Could you be more imaginative?" Haruhi let loose a breath of relief, and reached for the glass of water that mysteriously appeared at their table. "The Ohtori's have jail systems that span across mountain rangers, much more secure than the ground." Haruhi spat out her water, trails of it still running out the corners of her mouth. "What!?"

Leaning over he handed her a napkin to wipe her mouth. The corner of his mouth twitched up slightly, and the disgruntled Haruhi took notice. She grabbed the paper square out of his hand, running it over her mouth. With eyes laughing like his, she couldn't help but grin. "My, did Kyouya Ohtori just tell a joke?" Crumpling the napkin in her hands she gave him a sideways glance, and muttered. "Even if it was a pretty twisted sense of humor."

This was going surprisingly smooth for Kyouya. It seemed his theory was correct, in just her presence calming him down significantly. He didn't realize himself that he joked with her, the line coming out of his mouth before he could stop and think. For once, it seemed a momentary lapse of attention seemed worth it.

_But we don't want to make this a habit yes?_

Thankfully their waiter finally appeared just as an uneasy silence settled over the two. Kyouya mentally kicked himself for not being able to think of something else, funny to say. To get Haruhi laughing would put him reasonably above the rest of all those else vying for her attention. For people wanted to spend time with people who made them laugh or feel amused. At least that is what Kyouya had always assumed on the matter. That was correct thinking yes?

_Wow. You doubt yourself. It's something fun to watch._

_Can't you ever shut up? I don't remember having such a distasteful mind._

_You should just be lucky I'm not the Kyouya on the outside. Can you say rejected five times fast?_

_Who says I'm trying to get her attention? _

_Well, considering I'm your thoughts-_

_The cruel ones anyways._

_Considering I'm your thoughts, I am somewhat entitled to cracking your inner motives._

_Oh really? Then what am I thinking about right now?_

Kyouya couldn't believe he was playing this game with his own mind.

_You're thinking about how Haruhi would feel if she knew you were in a fight with your own sub-conscious._

_Wrong. I was thinking about how ridiculous it would seem if Haruhi knew I was still involved in this conversation._

…

_You can be a real smart-aleck at times, you are aware of this yes?_

_I know. Because I am you after all!_

"Um…Kyouya-sempai?" "What?!" She flinched back at his tone. She hadn't realized she had just interrupted something important. She made a note to leave Kyouya alone when he was staring off into space. "Ano, Sempai your order?"

He snapped too, giving the waiter his usual "mind your own business" stare. It worked, for the previously engrossed server was now studying his notepad with great care. He waved his hand towards Haruhi, trying to play nonchalance. "Whatever you ordered. I'm sure you have some taste in common cuisine." The waiter tilted his head, puzzlement obviously spread across his features. Haruhi laughed nervously, all the while cursing the boy in front of her. Could he for once not act like such a spoiled snob? "Are you sure about that Kyo-""Yes." The server didn't wait around for another confirmation, and sped off as soon as he could.

_Genius move there. Acting all suave and cool._

_What are you getting at now?_

_Do you even know what you just ordered?_

Kyouya didn't want to ask, but he did. "What was it you ordered again Haruhi?" She gave him a shaky smile, tugging down nervously on her shirt hem. "That's why I was somewhat confused. I never took you as a fan for strawberry parfaits."

_Awesome Inner Kyouya: 2 Loser Outer Kyouya: 0_

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"This is a matter of great importance! So stop fooling around!" A certain blonde-haired leader was prancing around on the sidewalk bordering Haruhi's apartment complex. "How could she have possibly forgotten it was FAMILY-bonding time today?!" The ever helpful twins, seemingly recovered from their trauma at the host club yesterday, each drew out an arm around the father. "Tono, perhaps she hadn't forgotten." Hikaru chirped next to Tamaki's ear. "Maybe in a spurt of evil still remnant in the Demon Lord, she was kidnapped. Karou pestered his other ear. "Maybe Mother wanted to bond with Daughter. They could be picking out new dresses for her." "Yeah, perhaps Haruhi is letting Mother stay with her in the dressing room.

The absurd notion Kyouya would even be shopping out of free choice didn't process, and already another installment of the Tamaki Inner Mind Theatre premiered:

"_Oh Mother, do you think this dress compliments me?" A meek Haruhi was holed up in a conveniently small dressing room, Kyouya staring down at her feeble and quivering form with the eyes of a snake. "Oh yes, so much. But it would please Mother so much more if Haruhi-chan just takes it off so I could admire her more." "But Mother," Haruhi had eyes as large as a doe's, innocently gleaming with the naivety that was her. "It wouldn't be proper if Mother looks at me that way." Kyouya stepped forward, pressing her body against his own on the wooden wall. His hands snaked their way to the straps of her dress, slowly sliding them down. His mouth was at her ear, his breath causing her to shake. "Oh, but it's alright. Just listen to Mother Haruhi-chan. I'm always right." "Oh Mother." A madly blushing Haruhi covered her face with her hands, as the dress slipped off, and Kyouya wrapped his arms around her bare torso... _

Tamaki threw himself on the chipped pavement, hanging off Mori's leg.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Ah."

Mori was trying, unsuccessfully, to throw the sobbing Frenchman off his leg. "WHYYYY?!! WHY WOULD MOTHER DO SUCH A THING?!" The twins backed up, certainly not expecting such a reaction. "Umm, Tono. What were you thinking?" Mori cast them what seemed to be a glare, as Tamaki threw himself even more against the senior, tears pouring out and spilling their way onto the sidewalk. Huni, choosing to stay out of this, gleefully jumped into the makeshift pool Tamaki had cried. "Yay! Pool party time!"

Their antics hadn't gone unnoticed, for the super of Haruhi's building was making his way to the five teens. "Excuse me, I'm afraid you all have to leave-" "Whyy!!?!! I thought Haruhi was a daddy's girl!" Huni hopped around, splashing the landlord's pants as the river of tears flooded some more. The twins, ever so helpful, reistsed the urge to collapse in peals of laughter. This was all too good. "It seems dearest brother that we are getting better at our art." Hikaru held the chin of his twin in his own palm. "Why Karou, you compliment me so, you too, beloved brother are a master in the area of trickery and mischief." "Hikaru!" "Karou!" Add Huni's squeals of laughter as he succeeded in wetting himself and the super, and Mori felt pained.

Seeing as he was the only sane-minded person left, he managed to kick Tamaki off, sending him instantly to a makeshift corner of woe. He easily managed to then splash the twins with the puddle Huni was jumping in, after picking him up by the collar. The twins stood there sputtering, and Huni glanced up at Mori who was now addressing the fuming man. "Ah. Sorry." With that he set off down the sidewalk, the others reluctantly following. It seemed without the only other members of the club who remotely had some form of common sense, Mori would be fighting a losing battle.

After a few blocks he set Huni down, and stopped in his tracks to regroup with his cousin. "Ah." "Right Taka-kun. We need to find a way to throw everyone else off." Being the observant pair as well, the cousins were aware of Kyouya going through some trouble. They were able to sneak a peek, or Mori anyways, as Kyouya was storming down the hall after school, to some classroom. Right off the bat they sensed something wrong, and with the absence of Haruhi and the twin's report of the "evils" of the Shadow King, they put two and two together. Haruhi was taking time to help deal with the boy, something they approved with. Huni found it even better, for he knew for quite some time that Kyo-chan was harboring something deep inside. Which was why they made it their goal to try and give the two some peace for the weekend. To make Kyouya "Scary-Good again," as Huni so eloquently put it.

Which was why Huni bounded in front of the wet and sulking twins, a still moping Tamaki following close behind. "Hey! I bet Kyo-chan and Haru-chan went to the mall!" The twins found themselves being thrown to the side as a Tamaki, clearly snapped out of his daze, barrled right past the,. "Of course Huni-sempai! Why didn't I think of such a thing before? Mothers and daughters oftentimes go to the mall to do girlish things!" Triumphantly he slammed his fist down on his open palm, then flinching as he did so too hard. "Ow."

Everyone else just remained silent at their leader. The thought of Kyouya doing anything particularly girlish, with Haruhi, in a commoner mall, just…no. After blowing on his stinging palm, he grinned at his friends. "A genius idea, I know. One only moi could think of." He thrust an arm out in the street ahead of them. "Onwards troops to rescue my beloved daughter!" Tamaki marched out past them, blindly making his way to a cluster of buildings.

The twins raised their hands, then quickly dropped them, shutting their gaping mouths. They walked after, not really wanting to ask whether Tamaki knew where he was going or not. Huni simply didn't have the heart to tell the fellow blonde that there was no way they would find Kyouya and Haruhi there and just shrugged his shoulders, skipping after the trio. Mori just shook his head, and took up the rear of the group. He was probably the only one sure that they were walking in the exact opposite direction of their destination. But then again, that was often how things ended up when the sanity level in the host club was out-numbered significantly.

* * *

Haruhi propped her cheek upon her hand, elbow on the table. Kyouya's look of disgust was priceless. Surprisingly, well not that much for Haruhi, a different server had delivered their order, and he too barely said a word as two cups of parfaits were dropped in front of the pair. Eagerly she had reached out for hers, the strawberry treat a welcome taste in her mouth as she spooned in a generous amount. But Kyouya could be faring better.

He was currently glaring at his meal, not believing how he wasted lunch on that…thing. He wouldn't even call the sugar-infested fruit, gloppy excuse for an order _food_. How Haruhi could so energetically spoon this trash in her mouth was beyond him. But, being the curious soul he was, no matter how much he would deny it, Kyouya stared at the girl. "Haruhi, can you possibly tell me why you choose to glob such extreme amounts of frozen yogurt into your digestive track?" Mid-spoonful Haruhi looked up, to see his opaque stare directed straight at her. She lowered the spoon down, trying to hide her amusement at his obvious disdain for sweets. "Well Kyouya-semapi, it's because I like strawberries. And parfaits. They're good." She shrugged her shoulders, continuing the race to finish the cup in under a minute. At least that's what it appeared to be to Kyouya.

But leave it to her for such a vague and non-explaining answer. "Yes Haruhi, but why are they good?" "They just are. I like them. I really can't get more in-depth than that." She then licked off the last of the abomination before glancing sheepishly at Kyouya's untouched one. He shifted his arms, deciding that appearances here shouldn't be upkept. His elbows now on the table as well, chin in his clasped hands, he couldn't help but smile, only slightly, at her look of longing. "Have fun."

She jumped at the chance, reaching across to now speedily finish off this second cup. Kyouya, his smile inched up a millimeter more, and he took care to note she also enjoyed these, parfaits almost as much as otooru. She paused between bites now, looking at Kyouya's now causal form, just watching her. "Uhh Sempai? Is there something on my face?"

He snapped out of his trance yet again, and shook his head. Satisfied she continued eating. Kyouya then couldn't nag off the feeling that somewhere, across town possibly, someone was screaming out in aguish? Haruhi paused as well, and both at the same time muttered "weird" under their breath.

_Awwww. So sweet._

Both froze, and then looked up at the other. Haruhi broke out in a grin soon after, with Kyouya's look of surprise, no matter how small, evident on his features. "So you felt it too. Perhaps Tamaki-semapi finally figured out we were both missing?"

Kyouya didn't find quite as much joy in that statement. Who knew what the idiot blonde could be thinking up or jumping to conclusions on? He would have to be taken care of when he got home. Haruhi barreled on, unaware of Kyouya's change in thought.

_Someone scared of being alone in that big, scary house of yours?_

"I mean, wouldn't it be hilarious if those guys were at my apartment, causing havoc? I can see Tamaki-sempai flipping out now, growing mushrooms on the street corner!"

Home, that brought a pang to Kyouya. He very well couldn't ask her over again right? Wasn't there a rule on that sort of thing? Kyouya almost wished he paid more attention when Tamaki was ramb-. No, he would never be that desperate.

_We are all fools in love._

"I can see him now just hanging off poor Mori-sempai's leg, sobbing hysterically."

And what authority would he have anyway, in asking her? This wasn't a date, as she so frankly stated it before. And him thinking like it would, only make things awkward. But he didn't want this to be it. Rarely did he have a chance to just relax with someone on his intellect level.

_Please. That's your excuse? Intellect level?_

"Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't been calling your cell phone non-stop Kyouya sempai."

Her last statement snapped him out of his thoughts. "Mmm. I'm not. Last night I took the liberty of changing my cell phone number. Yours too actually."

For the second time today Haruhi found the need to screech out. "What?!" Kyouya sighed; adjusting his glasses to be sure they remained somewhat as a shield. "I changed our telephone numbers. Now the only people who know yours is me and Ranka-san. Just like only a few people know my new number. Like you, but especially not the imbeciles."

Haruhi didn't even bother asking when he got a hold of her phone. "Umm…Kyouya-sempai, why?" She didn't even think to ask why Kyouya let her know his, which he was glad about. "Well, I think I should be asking you something Haruhi. On my phone, after you left, I took notice that someone called besides Tamaki." She decided to let her frustration on him answering a question with a question slide.

"Oh yes. You're right. I guess I just forgot. I assumed you knew her." Kyouya's ears picked up. "Her, Haruhi?" Puzzled she sat back, tilting her head. "Yeah. No one I knew though. She just gasped or gave a noise of surprise when I answered, then hung up right away. She had a voice that was hard to pitch. It sounded like an adult, but like a teen as well possibly. High and low. She sounded rich though, I think." Kyouya made note to never have Haruhi take messages.

But her answer didn't really help him deduct the possible caller. If anything it made him even more suspicious. Yes his number changed, but if this, female would be able to find this new number as well. It would defeat the purpose really.

"Frowns don't suit you Sempai." Kyouya, slightly startled, looked back up at her. He didn't even realize his face was a frown. He just assumed his normal thinking pose. Perhaps that was why so many asked if he emo. An interesting thought to be sure. But Haruhi taking notice of what his face appeared to be, that was interesting as well.

_One, don't get distracted. Two, stop thinking like that!_

Kyouya waved the server over, who approached with trembling hands. "Y-Yes sir?" "The bill." The man bowed, anxiously fishing out the slip of paper. Before Kyouya could reach for it Haruhi snatched it up, fishing in her bag for money. Kyouya was a little miffed to say the least. "Haruhi, why do you feel the need to pay?" She ignored his question, the 1000 yen already handed to the waiter who bowed once again, and near ran off.

Kyouya only raised his brow at their server's jumpy behavior, not seeing possibly why he would be so scared. Haruhi's reply brought him back to her, and he stood up as well seeing she was already making her way out. "Because Sempai, you probably would have tacked on some odd fee or service tip for treating me to a lunch you didn't even eat." She didn't have to be so sure of herself. He only was going to add about 700 yen to the amount. Nothing too much.

Seeing they now were on the sidewalk he followed her lead, not sure exactly where they were walking too. Not that he would complain about the lack of destination, yet. The later he would go off alone the better. He in fact was quite glad as well the real reason they met up today was forgotten by Haruhi. Certainly now he would hate to spoil what had been a somewhat amusing day for him with useless talk and squabbled fears.

_So says the guy who barely had any sleep last night._

But of course, because Haruhi was Haruhi, she seemed to have caught on at the worst time. He almost cursed their somewhat similar train of thought, the keyword being almost. "Say, Kyouya-semapi, I would love now to have one of my questions answered from yesterday." She cast him a mischievous sideways glance, reminiscent of the twins. "I haven't forgotten you see."

_Of course not, because you had to be so perceptive._

_Please, only yesterday you were near praising that aspect of hers, among other things._

"So I am hearing." Kyouya stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants, his outfit for today exactly the same one the host club threw on him the day they stranded him at that stupid commoner mall.

_Good times, good times._

Haruhi glanced over, quite amused to see Kyouya slouching as he walked. Did he really have such low regard for what normal people saw him as? Swinging her small bag, Haruhi took a few steps closer to him, her voice lowered. "Yes Kyouya-sempai. Try to deny it, but I am very well serious in saying I want an answer now. Please." The sun cast a glare in his lenses, but behind him his eyes were laughing. Haruhi was demanding him? Or was she just trying to poorly imitate the Shadow King himself?"

"I said I would, and I'm a man of my word Haruhi, but here. I don't think so. Perhaps someone with less, people." He took care to avoid mentioning that lately, places with large amounts of people unnerved him. Just another useless childhood quirk remerging itself after but years of absence.

_Hmm. Perhaps if we take the time to think possibly why._

Kyouya found himself inching closer to Haruhi as a group of fairly obnoxious and loud teenagers swarmed past. She took note of this, and how he shied his right arm away as one of the teens swatted it, to move past. That was something she had been meaning to ask about too. "Say Sempai, you don't like people touching you that much do you?" Ever the straightforward girl.

He glanced down, stepping even closer to her as if to prove a point. "Really, and what makes you assume that? I feel it would be particularly bothersome to have such a, problem, as a host." She controlled the urge to roll her eyes. "Please Kyouya-sempai, you barely host, if ever. You are telling me that just as easily as the twins or Tamaki you could reach out for another being, or hold girls to your arms?" Just the thought of acting like any of those three caused him to shudder. "Can you imagine me very well acting like that?" He had a point there.

But Haruhi was not done. "Fine, take yesterday for example." Thoughts of that afternoon ran through both their minds. "…And?" "Well, while you did seem to reach out for me, there were times when I would accidently or without you knowing touch your shoulder or arm, and you would seem to jump." As if to prove her point Haruhi instantly raised her arm to the back of Kyouya's head. Without even thinking he stopped dead in his tracks, tilting his head forward a bit more.

_Haha. She was right, again._

She curled her hand back, lowering her arm to swing beside her once more. "See? You just did it again." The two continued their pace, Kyouya tilting his face away from her. Cheap store-fronts greeted him. He made a mental note to ask her about why bright colors attract commoners so. "So Kyouya-sempai, do you see now?" Still walking beside her, to apparently nowhere, he gave a small huff. "That was hardly fair. If you remember, the back of my head was where I slammed it into my coffee table yesterday." "But you only jumped because I reached out to help you."

_Touché. _

It was a moot point, why discuss it? Kyouya was seemingly getting annoyed that she would take interest in such a useless thing. And to stop this conversation was only to disprove her theory, so Kyouya latched on to her arm mid-swing, pulling her close to his side. "There, you see? I can make contact with people." He tried to ignore the somersault his empty stomach made as he brought her close.

She sighed, also trying to squelch weird feelings. "Please Sempai. Grabbing my arm out of your own free will, that's barely a tolerable reason to prove me wrong." Kyouya wouldn't dare admit she had a point, but still didn't let go. Or he just kept telling himself he couldn't, for some reason. He blamed the current state of mental irrationality of his.

_Yeah, sure. Blame it all on me. If someone forgot, I'm not the one pushing romance over here. _

Haruhi looked nervously up at him when he didn't let go right away. She tried pulling her arm free, but Kyouya seemed to have conveniently developed that vice grip of his again. "Sempai?" "Oh, what's this? Someone not so comfortable with human contact?" She gave him a frown. That was hardly fair. Did he know exactly to what extent his contact had on her? That had to be an exception! And did his voice, no. He couldn't have been teasing her just now. Perhaps the noonday sun was too hot for a rich bastard like himself. Was he getting heat stroke?

Who knew her trying to break free and stop him could sound so fun to him. Bugging her like this, he wondered why he had never taken this approach before. Smirking, he found it amusing she tried to quicken her pace. As if she could outrun him. While he lacked in the strength or skill of most athletics, running was something Kyouya found he was a natural at, in middle school. Or at least he liked to think as such. It was true that during runs, if he really wanted to, it came easily to him to outrun all the others.

Which was why as she quickened her pace he sped up as well, his grip loosening to her wrist now. Then, a sudden thought occurred to him. Why not have some fun here? It wasn't like his father was around or someone else to scold him. And this particular day, with Haruhi, it was making him feel, something. Like he wanted to have fun, dare he say let loose? Perhaps it was because she already saw Kyouya at one of his low points that it seemed increasingly rational to the glasses-clad boy for her to see him on the other end of the scale. Perhaps she seeing Kyouya during one of his few fun-loving times would shift something. Maybe it would help more.

Which was why he quickly stopped in his tracks, snapping her arm pack to pull Haruhi in front of him. Before she had a chance to react he lower his head, and whispered to her in the same tone of sophistication he always talked in. But something was different if you would pay close enough attention. He sounded, lighter. Happier.

"I suggest you run now Haruhi." And with that he pushed her forward yet again, watching her stumble a bit before catching her balance. She turned back at him, her face in question. "Eh?" To encourage her he sped up to her, lowering his face so the opaque glare so carefully placed on his glasses lowered. She saw his eyes once again, and couldn't believe that they seemed, giddy. Happy. Was Kyouya just playing a game with her? Why exactly was he acting so, Tamakish? But she did remember a time not so long ago where she accused Kyouya of being just like the blonde, and perhaps she was more right than she thought.

Which was why she decided to play this weird game with Kyouya, running down the sidewalk in increasing speed. Kyouya, glad to see she finally took his message, began pacing himself after her, amused that she seemed to be running so fast so early. Or at least fast for her he supposed. She was terrible at athletics of all kind after all.

So Kyouya didn't go too hard on her yet, as he ran past the disgruntled shoppers. With skill he found himself able to expertly dodge bumping into anyone on the crowded sidewalk, and he just dismissed it as such. Haruhi on the other hand seemed to be nearly crashing into ordinary passer-byers, who would glare as she yelled a quick pardon over her shoulder. It wasn't until Kyouya passed the mass well, albeit more gracefully, some would crack grins, many of the elderly crowd shaking their heads, calling out to each other about what crazy kids in love would do.

And he found it exhilarating that he didn't want to correct them. Let them think that, he didn't mind. His only focus was grabbing hold of Haruhi in this make-shift game of tagged, and as he tried harder, he found that the space closing between them was decreasing. His hair was blowy back wildly, shirt tails flapping around, and he didn't _care._ It was fun, just focusing all his attention on the brown-haired girl. Not having to worry about how to act or how you looked. Here he probably seemed like a crazy guy or some delinquent, and no one was thinking any differently. For once he was able to shut off the world to only him and Haruhi, in this mad dash game of theirs.

He didn't even bother to turn down the corners of his mouth, wanting to grin, wanting her to see when he inevitably caught her that he too could be someone who enjoyed life. To an extent.

She rounded a corner and Kyouya took a sharp right as well. How many blocks have they been running for? He was surprised to see Haruhi still had some breath left in her. His side on the other hand was beginning to throb, and he knew he probably only had about 200 yards or so before he would have to stop and catch his breath. So therefore he sped out in a last burst of speed, glasses being held up only by the wind as he ran against it, perspiration already slipping down his forehead and neck. Who knew Kyouya Ohtori would be exerting himself this way? Yet, he still didn't regret it.

Haruhi looked back, and her eyes grew wide after realizing how close Kyouya seemed to have gotten. A part of her couldn't believe that the Shadow King was playing a game with her, another was shaking in anticipation. What would he do when, or if he caught her? She glanced around quickly, trying to catch some sight of her surroundings. They seemed to be close to a mall or shopping center of some kind. It looked vaguely familiar. She had no more time to think, as Kyouya, his ragged breaths audible to her closed in on the girl.

Kyouya, happy to see she began to slow down, outstretched his arms, reaching in for the catch. With a heavy "oomph" on both sides, the pair buckled forward as Kyouya slammed into Haruhi from behind, his arms caging around her. She gave a squeak of surprise, not expecting Kyouya to catch her that instant, and closed her eyes as they fell forward. Seeing he miscalculated the momentum they would fall at he quickly snapped his body to the right, toward the wall of the shopping center. Haruhi naturally shifted with him, and she found them spinning until Kyouya rammed into the wall on his back, the sudden stop causing her back to press into him as well.

They stood still for a few seconds, Kyouya, side splitting and breathing forced, lowered his head to Haruhi's, her now damp hair tangling with his own wind-tossed bangs. His hold on her was still tight, so as his rib cage sputtered for air so did she as well. His glasses were pressing into his forehead and skin behind his ears once again, but that pain was duly ignored. He was caught between laughing and breathing, his harsh inhales for air loud in Haruhi's ears. She too was tired, sweat already at the back of her neck.

With a heavy THUMP Kyouya slid down against the wall, plopping himself and Haruhi on the ground below. He lifted his head back against the wall before giving her a tight squeeze, his legs splayed out right next to her own. His breathing slowed down, his ribs still a sharp jab every time he exhaled. Which was why he distracted himself by bringing himself close to the girl in his arms, burrowing his face in her damp shoulder. He felt it a hidden bonus that her tank strap slid down during all this, and he was able to secretly breathe in this scent that was her, while inhaling and exhaling to hide his actions.

Haruhi, seemingly exhausted, leaned into Kyouya, his heaving chest moving up and down behind her head. The moment she felt Kyouya snake down to rest his head on her shoulder she felt that all too strange tingle through her, an added exertion on her already tired body. She in turn rested her hands on his knees, which turned to somewhat jelly for Kyouya as she did so. But she wouldn't give it up, surprised that she found herself enjoying this so much. Being able to see Kyouya on the opposite scale now, when he is having fun, it was so different and unexpected. Yet somehow, it was still Kyouya.

She shut her eyes, trying to sink and relax as their breaths calmed down to one steady pace. It didn't seem uncomfortable, the close space between them. And she wasn't sure if this exactly was something friends do. Haruhi just shoved all those thoughts to the side as Kyouya hugged her, his face hiding in the crook of her neck. Her shoulder tickled too, now that she thought about it. So there the two sat, totally oblivious and uncaring of their appearance to any onlooker. These two kindred spirits were lost in each other for the time being, and not something which they wanted to shy away from anytime soon.

Which was exactly why Haruhi heard the crowded steps of a group as her eyes were shut, and the sudden gasps and intakes of air, a body thumping to the ground. Frustrated at these intruders to their state of peace she turned her head the other way, breath warm on Kyouya's shoulder. He stiffened remarkably, more than usual for her making a sudden touch to him. And her fears were confirmed when she felt his face reluctantly leave the soft skin of her bare shoulder, his hair rustling as he turned to address the group. She only heard him mutter out an "Oh crap." Surprised at his choice of words she opened her eyes and twisted her neck, face paling at the sigh. _"Oh crap" indeed._

* * *

This was the third shopping center the rambunxious group found themselves kicked out of. Of course the twins feigned innocence, for it really was Tamaki, randomly barging in and taking hold of the loudspeakers to issue search cries for a missing "mother" five feet ten inches, age seventeen, and wearing glasses, and a "Daughter" five feet 2 inches and aged 15. Nevertheless he didn't get any results, nor did the managers find it particularly funny, as Tamaki vehemently tired to explain this mother/daughter situation to him.

Which was why they suggested Tamaki stay back in the lobby of this new mall as the twins and seniors take over the search. A rejected Tamaki stayed back, growing yet more mushrooms in the brightly lit department store first floor. If he wasn't so preoccupied with that, he would have realized the very department store they stumbled into was one and the same with the place where they stranded Kyouya not but a few months ago.

It didn't soothe down Tamaki's nerves anymore that Kyouya's cell didn't seem to be working. And the twins were the only ones with Haruhi's number, who apparently had forgotten to bring their cells with them. So Tamaki sat in his corner, fearing the worse, whether what Kyouya and Haruhi could very well be doing, or to what could have possibly happened to them.

Things didn't fare better for the other hosts, since the twins took it upon themselves to jump into every store and near cause a whirlwind of destruction. And while Huni sped off to a traveling cotton candy cart, Mori took it upon himself to realize exactly why he hadn't noticed exactly what short attention-spans everyone had before. He knew as well as Huni, who was munching down on spun sugar, that they very well had no chance of finding the missing pair anytime soon.

Perhaps that was why Huni met up with Mori, who only nodded down at his older cousin before walking back to where Tamaki was gathering on-lookers, mostly small children mystified by this magical plant-growing man. The twins followed suit, dragging the utterly pathetic blonde out the sliding doors of the mall. The cool spring breeze greeted them as Huni and Mori led off, suddenly jerking to a stop as they turned to the left. The twins, a hold of each of Tamaki's arms, promptly dropped him with a thud to the sidewalk. Karou just was gaping in shock while Hikaru began to visibly tremble, next to his cool-headed twin. Huni exchanged a nervous glance with Mori, Mori just stood by, not entirely sure how to react. And Tamaki, the blonde father. He snapped out of this trance as the twins dropped him, and then quickly snapped to attention where everyone else was looking at. There, on the wall just a few feet away…

Tamaki narrowed his eyes, fists clenched on the sidewalk. That, that Kyouya! So his fears were as such! He knew it! Tamaki scrambled up to a standing position, body swaying alongside Hikaru's out of fury. To see his DAUGHTER so close, in the arms of MOTHER! Hikaru hissed out as he took note of her naked shoulder, the strap falling down as Kyouya was practically sinking his face there! It was at this point Kyouya took notice of the intruders of his peace, and the sight of the rest of the host club standing there was not a pleasant one. Life truly was out to get him

_Oh boy. This is going to be something worth seeing._

Shadow King versus the Host King. The slightly calmer members, them few in number, stared back unsure of what exactly would come out of this. It was extremely unexpected, and a slip up on Kyouya's part. Yet still, he didn't regret this. Bring it on, for Haruhi this was all worth it.

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**Le gasp! What is to happen now? Heh. I'm not sure either…XD;; Although I do guarantee something will! And I'm awfully sorry on this coming late. I seemed to have lost my muse this past day. I did spend my time making an amv for this fanfic, at least with a song I felt fitting. Go to my profile and click the link, it will send you to my youtube profile where the vid is up. And while the beginning and some of the end scenes may not make sense, I tell you that in time all will be connected and revealed. Muahaha. Ha. Heh. ;**

**~ja ne**


	5. Lost

_Well, when things look bad and you find yourself surrounded by idiots who jump to conclusions, surely nothing good will come out of it right? You may talk your way out, find an explanation that solves everything, but the damage would be done. Could you really be trusted after that? Would you really mind? Perhaps this new persona would fit you, it's something you could live with. If all but you get claim to what's rightfully yours. At least before you fall… _

_________________________________________________________

Bring it on, for Haruhi this was all worth it.

Haruhi then met their stares, and she grew white. There had to be a way to explain this, in such a matter that Kyouya's face wouldn't get pounded into the wall. But why Tamaki and Hikaru of all people were acting the maddest, she couldn't fathom why. Kyouya though was very aware of what was in store for him. He wasn't ignorant to those other idiot's feelings. But that didn't mean he was to give up entirely either on his catch, on her. Which was why he gently switched her over to his left, away from their glares. She didn't need to know more than she already did, in regards to their feelings on this matter.

Kyouya stretched up, trying his best to smooth down his shirt and tousled hair. Appearance in front of them did matter. He had an image to keep up. Which was exactly why he, with his glasses turned down and lenses clear he fitted them all with a glare most legendary. He stood up straight, taking the few strides it took to match himself up with Tamaki. Narrowed grey met purple, while the two best friends faced off, fists both clenched and faces set.

"Why are you here Tamaki?" "YOU SHOULD BE ONE TO TALK-You, you, YOU!" Hikaru, wanting to spring out was held back by Karou and Mori, him yelling out a string of expletives at the bespectacled boy himself. Kyouya, not paying any heed, stood his ground. Carefully pushing up his glasses he talked to them as if he was nothing but discussing normal club profit or calculations. Not like he was just near kissing Haruhi's shoulder and clutching her in his arms. Although her smell still stayed with him.

"The 'you' you are so easily jumping to conclusions about hasn't the faintest idea why you should be mad." He stretched out an arm to the shocked form of Haruhi. "I was just catching my breath, asking if Haruhi was alright." His hand went back to the glasses, glinting their glare at the teens in front of him. "We were being chased you know."

Haruhi was glad she sat a distance away from this dispute. Seeing Kyouya, from behind, she knew that underneath all his usual bravado he was as nervous as her. But she couldn't see why, they were just resting. A part of her nagged guilty, for maybe she saw it as more, but honestly, what did they all expect Kyouya was doing? But upon hearing Kyouya try to lie his way out Haruhi raised her neck, head nodding wildly as the irate Tamaki and Hikaru glanced over at her.

Hikaru, not believing this for one moment even after Haruhi supposedly "confirmed" it attempted to lunge out once again. His arms snapped back as Karou's and Huni's grasp held firm, so he just decided to flip his head wildly. More explicits were let loose at the black-haired boy, just so he could very well realize that whatever he was saying to cover up what he saw was a load of, well, he screamed that out too. Some shoppers were warily standing by at the fight that seemed to be growing.

Tamaki, not as aware as Hikaru, just leaned back, eyes still hard. Not only out of rage like Hikaru, but also fear, betrayal. Kyouya took that glance to smooth things over, knowing if he just played on Tamaki's nerves all would be understood by the blonde. Hikaru though, would surely just fuel Tamaki's suspicions. Which was why, looking past his friend he called down to Huni and Karou. "If you would so please." He gestured to the shaking red-head's form. Karou just glanced down nervously to Huni, who just nodded. Kyouya and Tamaki needed to work this out on their own.

Mori stood by still as Huni wished it, in case things with the Host King did get out of hand. Huni and Karou proceeded in dragging the struggling twin away, deciding it was enough for today that Hikaru got outside. Karou figured he would have to lock him in their room, and just wait until things blowed over. A scary thought for him, brother or no brother.

As soon as the trio turned the corner and most likely called a limo courtesy of Huni Kyouya snapped his attention back to the remaining blonde. Tamaki straighten up, voice still hard but slightly hopeful. Perhaps he really had gotten this all wrong. "You were chased?" "Mhmm. Yes Tamaki. I found Haruhi here a few blocks back, obviously being followed by some…rogue."

_Smart. Trying to get his belief through using words he would understand. Clever stuff._

Tamaki's face wrinkled in thought. "R-Rogue?" "Yes and poor Haruhi here was just about to get her purse snatched by said foe." Luckily she still had it, and weakly lifted it up from her spot near the wall, for Tamaki to see. She only hoped Kyouya wouldn't go overboard with his story.

"Her, purse." Kyouya began to grow a tad impatient. He was waiting for Tamaki to spill into a rant of the evils and dangers of common foes. Not be calculating for once and try to dissect his story. "Yes, so I pushed Haruhi ahead to run, slammed into her a bit too hard, and thus why we ended up against the wall. A little worse for wear yes, but we are fine." He allowed a smirk to cross his features, arms crossed. "Now I'm not sure what you or any of the others assumed, but o assure you nothing of the 'harming Haruhi' kind came to surface." Tamaki's lack of answer annoyed him yet again.

"Tamaki?" As Kyouya called out, Haruhi realized she would have to do her part to calm the poor leader's nerves. So she stood up, taking care to shrug up the fallen strap of her top, purse swinging as she made her stand alongside Kyouya.

Careful to not touch his arm or think anything of what she currently wanted to say, in fear Tamaki would catch the strange jolt that echoed through her at such thoughts, she lifted her chin. Eyes narrowed in the familiar scowl of disapproval, Haruhi waited until she had Tamaki's full attention. Which was about three tenths of a second.

"Tamaki-sempai." At the sound of his precious daughter Tamaki threw himself at her, arms encasing her thin frame. "Oh my precious daughter! Is what this traitorous mother says is true?! Were you really close to being captured by a team of purse-snatching ruffians?!" As Tamaki currently was crying into her shoulder she cast Mori and Kyouya confused glances. It seemed she still wasn't used to how Tamaki would twist a statement into a plot worthy of a B-rated movie.

"Ano, Sempai?" At once Kyouya and Tamaki snapped their heads up and looked at the girl.

"Yes?"

"Yes?"

At hearing the other answer, the two friends stared down each other slightly. Haruhi was obviously addressing their own self. Why would they think it was the other? Nervous again to seeming be caught in the middle of something, she cleared her throat, trying to shove the blonde off her."I-I was talking to Mori-sempai actually."

Mori stiffened, not particularly likening the glares sent from the two second years. But he obliged, walking calmly forward to pull the increasingly annoying blonde off the poor girl. Tamaki tried to struggle, yelling out some nonsense about how no one could "come between father and daughter during these turbulent" times, or something of that nature. Kyouya really wasn't paying any attention to what Tamaki was blathering on about.

As the kendo champion succeeded in prying the host king away, for the most part, Kyouya took note of how Tamaki was taking hold of Haruhi's shirt strap. Granted he knew Tamaki was doing it only to not be pulled away from his "daughter" but still. He almost felt a vein twitch behind his bangs as the thin strap of cloth was unstitching from the top. Haruhi wasn't helping matters by stumbling back in the opposite direction. Before Kyouya could help himself he latched onto the offending shoulder, sending her behind him quickly while succeeded in shoving Tamaki off with the other. Mori held the blonde in his arms, just watching bemused with what just occurred.

Tamaki felt like he had just been slapped, as Kyouya shoved Haruhi off. "B-But why M-Mother!?" He couldn't help his sputtering, and Kyouya, ever one to keep his façade when he slipped up just flashed his opaque stare. "My Father, are you so inconsiderate in wanting to tear poor Haruhi's clothes?"

Tamaki's face grew red, and then he thrashed wildly in Mori's arms. "No! NO! I'm so sorry daughter! That probably was the only shirt you owned and me so carelessly tearing it, I'm the scoundrel! Now you will have to wear your uniform all the time and have it get worn from use, and then Mother will be evil and add that on to your debt so you will have to slave on forever in a vicious cycle of infamy and commoner sadness! Forgive ME!!"

Kyouya, happy that things word out in his favor, nodded to Mori, who obliged, dragging the still hysterical host away. He managed to succeed in having Tamaki forget for the moment the real reason why he was shocked in the first place. Avoiding the problem while presenting a new, much more trivial one. Trademark Shadow King. So the boy's yells echoed as he was dragged away, going on about promises to fill Haruhi's wardrobe with clothes of the finest silk, or something of that matter. Kyouya shook his head, Tamaki's idiocies still a thing of wonder.

Behind him Haruhi was still trying to process exactly what went on, for Kyouya t just seemed had gotten off the hook quite easily in regards to why Hikaru and Tamaki were fuming just moments before. Kyouya didn't bother to take his hand off of her shoulder as they made their way in the opposite direction, down the way they came. Her torn strap, courtesy of him really, was burning into his palm. Why couldn't she just shy away? It would convince him to let go much easier.

_This is Haruhi. I bet she doesn't even notice that your hand is itching to grab that bare skin._

As the commercial streets came into view Kyouya paused, looking down at her shoulder once again. It would seem discriminating most likely if a boy just walked in broad daylight with a girl's torn shirt. Her clueless expression wouldn't even make matters any better. Haruhi in turn looked up, wondering why Kyouya stopped. "Sempai?" She took care that any hesitance in her voice he wouldn't hear. The fact his hand was still splayed on her, she squashed the flurry of jolts to the side.

Wordlessly Kyouya gave the girl a frown, lifting his arms and removing his outer shirt, slipping it over her shoulders. It was done steadily and calm, like many of the actions Kyouya performed.

_On the inside though…_

Haruhi's face said it all and Kyouya shrugged, his hands finding their way to his pockets so they wouldn't be tempted to find their way to her body again. "Your shoulder strap was torn due to the idiot's, actions. I feel it in our best interest that the public not see you in such a state." Of course he omitted the part of how it would nag at him relentlessly if others saw her shirt and skin like that. It was a feeling he often had to deal with, but found it couldn't be squelched down so easily anymore.

_Hehe. So you're saying only you can look at her? That's a horrible attitude to have towards any girl, especially Haruhi._

"Ah. Thank you then, I guess." Haruhi could really care less if people just saw her shoulder. What difference did the absence of a few centimeters wide strap of cloth have was unknown to her. But she felt happy that Kyouya, the self-declared egotist doing something out of his own accord. The reason he gave her, she knew it was a lie. So upon seeing his slouched form, now with just a wrinkled white shirt, still probably made of some ridiculously expensive material, she smiled. "And you're so sure that the others will drop it so fast? Planning on some way to distract them longer?" He kept on starting straight ahead, not bothering to want to see the picture of her engulfed by a shirt that was resting on his skin but moments before.

"I wouldn't be worried. If I know Tamaki he will most likely be engrossed in preparations for your new wardrobe. You know he doesn't lie when he is talking about anything revolving around you." Her groan he could hear clearly. "Of course not. Because I'm his precious daughter." "Do you really hate being his 'child' that much?" "Kyouya-sempai, if he acted like you did about this family nonsense I would be fine with it. You're my mother," Here she shied a glance at him. "But I have yet to see you do anything particularly motherly. Not that I'm complaining. It's good to be in the presence of someone who doesn't sprout nonsense very two minutes."

_So she likes it when you don't give her any special attention. Tough luck buddy._

She bit her lip, another host entering her thoughts. "Ano, about Hikaru though," Kyouya's eyes narrowed at the mention of the bothersome twin. "Yes?" "Well," she fiddled with the bottom of her temporary shirt. "I could understand Tamaki-sempai's reason, but why was Hikaru so mad?" Then, Kyouya dealt with this problem the only way he knew how. Just brushing it off to the side. Jokingly he relaxed his clenched jaw, bringing up a fist to bonk playfully on her head.

At this action Haruhi spun around to face Kyouya. It was dreadfully something he would never normally do. Which could only mean he was going to avoid it altogether. "Just forget about him. I'll deal with the twins in due time. It's not that hard to set them off, Hikaru especially." Of course this was as far as she was going to get in the matter. Just giving him a look of annoyance she reached up to rub her head, brushing the boy off to the side. "Fine Kyouya-sempai, but I am still waiting for an answer."

Finding her annoyance amusing once again he shrugged back into his walking form. Her statement though, did she never let up? Kyouya had a clever retort to smart his way out yet another situation he could do without, when suddenly he found himself being dragged off the sidewalk. Haruhi had grabbed hold of his wrist and was pulling him to a destination, one he assumed she knew where to go to. But at her hand grabbing hold of him that fast, his hand clenched into a fist without even realizing. As the pavement gave way to grass he relaxed his hand. No need to insult the girl in some way or think he hated this already.

Haruhi, glad they were in an empty corner of this park made her way to a heavily treed area, a lone wooden bench in the middle. She let go of Kyouya, arms outstretched to the sides. "Happy? This park I've been to many times in my childhood, and I can guarantee you this area is always empty." She sat herself down on the bench, arms crossed and waiting. "You were so picky about telling me in public, I've given you privacy." Kyouya more or less chose to ignore her, the greenery and overwhelming silence not particularly comforting to him. And how she sat down so easily on a strange bench in the middle of a park. Who knew what germs ran rampant through here. He chose to stand next to the bench Haruhi sat at.

Up the shields went, and Kyouya took care to make sure that the glare of his lenses was present. "Privacy by your standards Haruhi, although I find just stranding us in the middle of nature hardly a place to discuss matters deeply related to a person's psyche and future emotional state." Haruhi gave him a deep sigh. It seems she would have to do this the hard way. She knew that the method she was about to attempt would be considered a low blow by some, Kyouya had already given her some permission to use whatever works. She was going to help him, with whatever it took.

So leaning back on the bench he dismissed, Haruhi kept her gaze on a particularly large oak tree about ten feet away. "Sempai, I believe you were telling me about your dream yesterday. In your explanation you mentioned a voice, a female voice." She noted how he stiffened considerably, leaning against the bench's edge. "Who was she? Someone you know? What did she say? Did it make you happy? Did it sadden you?" It pained her, to see that every question hit Kyouya like a blow, but with someone like him, only through straightforward asking could you get an answer. Why bother sugar-coating and sneaking your question to the master of trickery himself? "Kyouya-sempai…"

_Well, she certainly had the right idea. This is what basically we have to do with you Kyouya, don't you see? If only you answered her back when you were all weak and hurt and utterly pathetic. It would be so much quicker. Didn't you just have fun for the first time in ages a short while ago? And now that whole moment, with Haruhi and yourself will get pushed aside, will fade into the woodwork that is your mind. This is going to get painful, I can guarantee that. So what are you going to do? How will the great Shadow King save himself from further humiliation, from fear?_

"If I just tell you one thing will you leave me alone about all that?" His voice came out soft, it startled Haruhi. After minutes of no answer she figured he was just ignoring her. But in that tone, so unlike the calm, laconic air that was so namely him, was he going to distill some information? Give her another glimpse into his mind? It further surprised her that he was sitting on the bench, as far from her he could manage, but it was a start. His hands were wrung out in front of him, eyes focused on his own knotted fingers.

_Perhaps if we get our dates straight. But it amuses me, how so quickly she, or just the mention of what you so desperately want to repress can reduce you to a meek-hearted boy, a fool._

"It was May 2nd a few weeks ago, correct?" His question threw her for a loop. "Umm, yes Sempai. I believe so." He nodded, gaze still down below. "Is it in your experience that certain dates still strike a chord in us?" "Y-Yes Sempai. Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, funerals, they all still should. Just because you're you Kyouya-sempai, it doesn't mean that you have immunity. I'm sure there are days that still affect you, whether positively or negatively I'm not at liberty to say I'm suppose." "So just as easily then, let's say for instance a death of a non-sequential family member that could hold quite the impact years later?" "Well, if the relative is non-sequential, I can't really say yes can I?"

_So close she is._

He freed his own wrist, stretching out his hand in the air in front of him. His wrist, ivory pale, the sun beat down upon it. But so blatantly obvious to Kyouya, was more than just the skin. In the sun, if you looked carefully enough, all the shadows wipe away.

_They seem to, don't they?_

Without getting a reply back Haruhi couldn't deny the puzzlement she felt. It seemed Kyouya was once again lost in his thoughts, seemingly finding his own wrist much more important than their conversation. Nothing was out of the ordinary it seemed. No cuts or bruises, just a plain wrist. She leaned in closer, hoping to catch a clue missing. Every action Kyouya performed there was always a reason. Always some motive or memory that would resonate in doing so. So Haruhi, apparently unnoticed by Kyouya, leaned in, and grabbed out at his wrist.

_But sometimes,_

Nothing out of the usual, but before Kyouya snapped back to attention and near yanked her grasp away, Haruhi's small hand uncovered a flaw in his larger one. Contact with it made her gasp out in surprise, but tightened her hold all the same.

_When the light comes in too fast,_

At the underside of his wrist, where the veins to check a pulse so clearly shown through, how could she have not noticed this before? All the times she's been able to get this close to him, it didn't add up. At the beach, the mall, perhaps it just blended in too easily with the fair, near-white skin of an Ohtori.

_The shadows get more harmed than helped,_

Kyouya, feeling the pressure on that exact spot, he reacted in a way engraved in him, instinct from years ago ruling his action.

_And then, when that happens,_

Haruhi saw it coming but didn't react, probably because she couldn't believe it herself. Her head slapped back, brow throbbing as her grip on Kyouya's wrist loosened.

_You really are,_

He saw her drop off the bench, and hit the grass with a thud on impact. His wrist, the right one, was tucked back to his torso, his left arm still frozen in alignment with the rest of his mind, thrust out exactly where Haruhi was seconds before. His left arm made into a fist.

_Screwed over._

All of a sudden Kyouya found himself on the grass, kneeling at Haruhi's side. He didn't dare speak, glasses sliding down to expose the fear in his slate eyes. The magnitude of what he just did still not wrapping around his mind yet.

Haruhi, slightly dazed, brought herself to a sitting position, hand placed over her right temple and brow. It throbbed, quite painfully. She could already tell that it would develop into quite the bruise, and still her anger couldn't be directed.

Kyouya had just punched her, and she couldn't, she wouldn't blame him. For now she had far over-stepped her boundary, but she had also gotten a far better picture of what Kyouya was hiding. Wincing, she saw him nervously move forward, but quickly leaned back, the offending fist painfully being crushed by his right. Her eyes flickered to that arm, and in return he backed up even more, pressing his spine painfully into the wood of the bench as he stumbled on his knees.

A whirlwind of thoughts rushed through the boy, emotions long forgotten. Punches, his arm, her on the floor. It didn't make add up, it didn't make sense. This was Haruhi, he did that to Haruhi. He was horrible, what did he do? Why couldn't he control himself, what happened?

_You're just finally giving in, that's all. You're just finally giving up on forgetting everything. About time really. Now it seems I'm going to be the logical Kyouya for the time being. A counting on what you are going to be reduced to in a few short minutes._

Haruhi came closer to him, every inch she came closer instilling in him a new wave of self-hate, of disgust. How could he have so easily, just caved in liked that? There was no excuse for his actions, he had half a mind to just bolt off. Here he was, spending an enjoyable day, hell; he would consider it a date even, with Haruhi. And he had to go and ruin it all, throw it all away because he was so, stupid enough, so clueless enough to allow her to get that close. And what did he do? Her head coming closer was a painful reminder.

She succeeded in trapping Kyouya in, arms on either side of the bench. Luckily Kyouya seemed to be losing himself again, something Haruhi was temporarily glad for. If this was the somewhat sane Kyouya, he would have found a way to excuse his actions and just leave home. But since weakened Kyouya was making an appearance, the same muddled pool of grey being brought forth in his bare eyes, perhaps she could find an answer to the question ranked number one to ask.

Kyouya, feeling trapped and increasingly closed off as she brought herself closer, her face lowering down to just inches from his. But he didn't feel pleasure, no joy. Guilt, it was resonating through his core now. How could he have confused Haruhi, poor Haruhi, with her? With her, she was coming back.

_You're almost there Kyouya boy. Her, her who?!_

Chocolate eyes met stone, hers attentive and focused while his just empty shells, he was losing himself again. "Kyouya-sempai. Answer me this question." Her words just echoed in hollow ears, like he had the right to even answer her now. Why didn't she run off, go to Tamaki or someone else who would never even think about laying a hand on her?

_You had a reason._

No, she wouldn't take to losing him yet. Her hands went to his shoulders, and she shook him. "Sempai?! Sempai!?" He stared blankly back, black bangs making an effort to hide his face. He was scum, he was a sad excuse for a being.

_Words that were spoken before._

On and on she kept trying to snap sense back into him, who knew she would be fighting to save Kyouya from himself? "Stop thinking Sempai, look at me! It's alright!" A pitiful soul, he shouldn't have been born. All he causes is sadness, in the end.

_Yes, unrepress. Remember. Remember those words? So painfully true and spoken?_

Indeed, he remembered. He was remembering. Or he was allowing himself to think that far back more likely. He had the slightest notion of being shaken. So she was shaking him now. He remembered what came next.

_First the wrist, then the shoulders, then the little boy will smolder._

Haruhi, eyes frantic, flinched back as his hand, so cold, it touched her forehead. Where the bruise was already developing on her skin. His palm laid flat, eyes finally meeting her with a flat stare. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Relief broke through, hand cold and eyes scary or not at least he was giving a response. Some reaction. Was he back so soon? She hushed him, sadness pinging through her as he huddled up against that bench, knees drawn up. He lifted his head higher, words coming out in a whisper.

"I, I didn't mean to." "Shh. Calm down Sempai. I know. I just was taken by surprise, that's all." It wasn't that strong of a punch anyways. Just falling so abruptly, it spooked her. It was a nudge really, the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Kyouya defiantly didn't possesses that much physical strength, like Mori or Huni. It was more a shove of the fist than a punch. "It's alright."

His face lowered, hiding it in his knees. Words still came out, soft and muffled. "I've been a bad, I did a bad thing." Her eyebrows bunched together, confused. Was this still Kyouya?

"Your, I..." Out came another broken sentence, and Haruhi was scared. Hands went to his hair, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. She brushed her fingers through, aimlessly hoping for a reaction, anything! Kyouya, he was frightening her. Kyouya was gone; it looked like he was being left behind.

"Sempai, if you hear me, do something, anything. It's Haruhi."

_Yoyo-chan, you still hear me, and you did something. It's me._

Kyouya looked up. It was her. It was her. But who, who was her? His head was splitting, mind shuffling in a blurry of thoughts and realizations. So soon, he never expected to lose himself so early, in such a way. But sure enough, he couldn't stop it. He punched her, he did something bad. He was going to get punished. But that didn't make sense. Why would he? This was Haruhi. But it was her.

"-YOYA-"It was funny. He only heard bits and pieces now. Did he look scared? He certainly hoped so. When he looked scared she always went a tad easier. But he couldn't smile. No, never smile.

"-YO-" His chest hurt. Out of apprehension, stress, nerves? Was he going to die? It would make things so much easier. If he was gone, she would be happy. She said so herself. And she was right. He had to trust her.

_You do know this is unreliable right? I never expected, just because you punched her, not even that hard? Is your mind shutting off or something? This doesn't even make sense. Unless you were hiding so much. But then again, all of this could have been so easily avoided if you just answered her questions._

He did wrong to her. "-YO-" And now she was yelling. But why? She never yelled, she never yelled. With everything she did, all he remembered, she never rose her voice. Because she was special like that. That's why he never raised his voice either. It was bad. Since she said so it must be true.

_So now what. You are losing yourself to the frightened five years old you used to be, and for what? They'll probably just as easily put you in some psych hospital. With your luck, probably an Ohtori branched one. That would be so much fun to explain to your good 'ole family right? Because they always pull through for you in the end. Don't they?_

It just occurred to him that she was yelling out, she was yelling out "YoYo". So that means he had to respond. That was his name after all. His special name. Only she said it.

Haruhi, know, she couldn't stop. On and on she kept yelling his name, only to be met with this, stare! He seemed to be thinking about nothing. It scared her; all over a cold, harsh truth ran through her own veins. This was deeper than she thought. Kyouya just wasn't suffering from a few bad dreams. He was, that mark on his arm. How could she have never guessed it? Coming from his family, they never did anything? Was he really that alone?

Kyouya had the faintest impression that a head was now pressed against his chest, a figure thrown against him. Her body, it was shaking. But why? She never cried. She never was sad. Just always the same. Like how a good little boy should be. What he was told.

_Say it. Say it and all this will end._

"Haruhi."

The girl shakily rose her head, hands dragged and clenching the front of his shirt. She wasn't crying, Haruhi was just extremely scared. Anything else Kyouya does that would be considered unlike hi, she was getting help. Kyouya needed it. He was in desperate name of help. And she wanted to give it to him, but first he needed to come back. To be the Shadow King. The Shadow King needed to come back, Kyouya the second year host needed to come back. Not this, shell. This lost boy stuck in whatever cruelty his past had given to him. So she leaned her face in to his, trying to catch the quiet and whispered words.

"What S-Sempai?"

_Your dreams, they were only the starting block. You're aware of this yes?_

"YoYo-chan." Her eyes didn't hide her fear, now he was just sprouting nonsense. "Yoyo-chan what?" Then he smiled at her, it froze her. This smile wasn't the one he shared with her, while they ran through the sidewalk having fun. All troubles put aside. Now, it was so fake, so forced.

Can you smile your way through a scream?

"That's the word." It was Kyouya talking, but not his voice. There was no calculating tone, no cool fringe that radiated indifference. No heart, she could hear the kind Kyouya in these words. They were ice, just syllables being sprouted in an empty shell.

"The voice in your dream said YoYo-chan?"

Now all the voices, all the thoughts, all the memories, time stood still. They all buzzed out, completely and suddenly. He was alone in his mind, just repeating the obvious.

He foolishly nodded, the grin still there, still screaming. "I'm YoYo-chan, and you're her. You're you." "I'm Haruhi, Kyouya-sempai." "YoYo-chan."

She shook her head, backing away. Kyouya, she cared too much for him to just leave him here utterly lost. With a shaky hand she dug through his pant pockets, his cell phone finally in her grasp. Before all this both teens would have been embarrassed at such an action, silently hiding their undeniable pleasure, guilty with these thoughts. But now, no such feeling ran through her, and definitely not Kyouya.

She flipped open his cell, shaky fingers aimlessly pushing buttons, trying to get a contact. A name caught her eye; she never knew such a person existed. Her head snapped up, Kyouya just sitting there, face frozen. Was he cationic?

_Now you wait, like a good little boy. Just close your eyes. It'll all be over soon._

"I'm calling for help. Maybe they will know what's wrong. I'm calling someone, okay Kyouya-sempai?"

_Okay Yoyo-chan? _

After dialing the phone picked up on the firs ring, an eager and light-hearted female voice coming though.

_Sleep, dream._

His eyes closed, head drooped forward. No longer was he consciously in control of his own actions. She was, because she was back.

_That's it._

"Oh Kyou-chan! It's been ages!! And I have so much to tell you-"

"This isn't Kyouya-sempai. It's Fujioka Haruhi."

Already, was it due solely to stress, emotional disruption, the beginning of repressed memories coming clear, his sight was fading into black. It wouldn't be bad to sleep for a while. Or just slip in a state of unconscious. It was the same thing really when you think about it.

_You just listen to me, and I'll be happy._

"Fu, Fujioka-chan? Why…where's my brother?"

Was Haruhi talking? Her voice was there, but he couldn't make out words. He only saw that horrible red splotch on her forehead. He punched her. He did bad.

_Don't worry about it, I'm not too angry. Just sleep. I'll deal with your punishment when you wake up okay, YoYo-chan?_

"Something is wrong. He, he won't snap out of it! There's just YoYo-chan he says, and he's been having problems with this dream lately, and he's all out of sorts. I don't know." The phone barely hid the frantic tone to her voice. Haruhi was doing all she could to not scream out for help and throw herself at Kyouya's form.

Silence was on the other end, before the usually light-hearted female voice spoke. In a tone of great severity. It scared Haruhi as well.

"Stay there. We'll find you. Just stay there. And don't, he cannot, he can't fall asleep!"

_Sweet dreams YoYo-chan._

Haruhi, still on the line, whimpered out. "What if he already is?"

Fuyumi, already sending out a notice to the Ohtori special-service team, on a matter of great importance to find her brother, she froze, eyes shut. "Then, then just stay with him. And don't be scared. No matter what, you can't leave his side. Not now. I'll talk more when we can meet face to face." She hung up. Surprisingly calm in this emergency Fuyumi rested against the wall of her sitting room, ignoring the curious glances her many maids gave her. It seemed that finally what she always feared was to come to light. The phone clutched tightly, ringing again for a status report, she knew the toll this was going to have, in alerting the family. But not yet.

She only hoped Haruhi Fujioka was ready. Unknown to her Haruhi had thrown the phone aside, still trying to shake the unresponsive boy awake. Fuyumi only hoped that Haruhi would be prepared to enter the dark turn, along with Kyouya. For now he would need someone more than he ever has had to, in his relatively short life.

Everything was going to come out of the shadows now.

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**Boy, this came out way darker and quicker than I expected. I normally hate rushing plot-lines, but I just had to now. Blame the fact I was listening to "bring me to life" on repeat while writing. If you know the song, chorus especially, you can get where I got some of my influence for this chapter. But this story is far from over, much more, much more in store. I plan to have this story going all summer long, maybe some days not having a chapter, but that's just because I am thinking about what to write next, making some more Kyouya Haruhi amv's, or hit…writer's block. But don't worry. Everything is going to change now, I suppose. Next chapter will be practically a trip down memory lane for Kyouya, a majority flashbacks and long forgotten memories. Because who knows. With Kyouya's family, anything was possible. **

**~ja ne**


	6. Memory

_When we relive the inner depths of what we most desperately want to forget, there's always bound to be complications. The scars while still left on you hurt just like they once did years back, the conflictions of emotions return full force, and you feel utterly lost. Why now, why are you forced to live through such a thing. They say it helps you heal; it'll make everything seem less scary. But in the end if you only succeed in making a poor guy cry and shut out all who matters, did that really help? Sometimes in your greatest moments of weakness, you don't want everyone to see you. Your ice out shell refreezes over itself, and you become victim to the dark corners of your past. Where the light is but a tiny lick of a flame. Can you even fight your way back…_

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Everything was going to come out of the shadows now.

_The walls, they were so tall. Everything in his mansion of a house larger than he remembered. Even on tiptoes he found it futile to try and reach for a doorknob. So off he walked, down that foreboding hallway. He found it amusing that its inner vastness and absence of bright light scared him, like it did when he was younger. He found himself rushing past the portraits and photos of Ohtori's past, their stern faces and glares enough to convince him they were following him. So off he ran, flying past the servants, who only dared to stop and cluck their tongues at the energy of this youngest Ohtori. Who knew he would be the most hyper and loud of all? It was a welcome sight to see him though. He brought life to this museum of a house. With the oldest son always involved in high school activities, the daughter off with her friends in teenage things, and the next son so busy with studying for the middle school entrance exams, this youngest Ohtori made their jobs feel a little less glum._

_And this youngest Ohtori lived it up. He knew he was their favorite, and often found a way to slip extra snacks or hugs when one of his family members wasn't looking. What was there not to love about this guy? He was so comical looking, much more so than anyone else. And some of the maids, in all their gossip, guessed already that this youngest Ohtori would be quite the heartthrob, much more than his older brothers. And his eyes, so large and round, he was the only one besides his sister who could make grey seem like such a lively color. _

_So everyone loved this youngest Ohtori, who would scamper up to you with hair in a spiky mess and eyes so bright for a smile or some new playmate. It seemed the Ohtori way hadn't been embedded just yet, and everyone but his family was glad about that. There was still a few years of fun left for this boy, before the pressures of being the third son would occupy all his thoughts._

_Although there was one family member who agreed with the serving staff. And it wasn't a secret that this youngest Ohtori was her favorite child. Perhaps that was why the other siblings, except for Fuyumi-sama, bless her heart, shined off this boy. She understood how much love he would have to receive, especially for a boy in his position. But this youngest Ohtori today was making his way to the best room in the house, according to him, much better than the ridiculously large space that he called his own. In to the sitting room at the back of the house, past corners and hallways of all sizes. This room he seemed to know where it was, anywhere in the mansion. Now if only he could figure out where the other rooms were, a thought voiced by the stern master often. But then she would hush him, allowing the youngest Ohtori to be free of criticism, for the time being._

_And off he ran almost at her sitting room, private for only her and her favorite child. The many maids smiled to themselves, never ceased to see how eager the Little Master was to see her. But one maid found her way to the little boy before he entered the room, and kneeling down she set the pile of linens beside her. Arms stretched out the boy ran into her, momentarily halting his journey to the sitting room. Arms encased him and she snuggled with the boy, adamantly ignoring the stares of the others. Little Master also had a best friend besides the lady he was planning to see, and that was the lowly chamber-maid Itsuki. She was the one to go to if his other preference was busy, Itsuki was the one to go to for a tuck-in at bedtime or a story to entertain his thoughts._

_So with a voice high and loud he called out "Itsuki!" Who replied with an equally energetic "Ohtori-chama!" She grinned into his hair, pulling away so her vibrant green eyes could stare into his grey. "Now tell me Ohtori-chama, what's the rush?" The smallest Ohtori just smiled, raising his eyebrows in a manner that would be called a smirk later on in life. "Don't be silly Itsuki. You know where I'm going!" She sighed, ruffling his hair before letting him go. "I suppose you're right, I do. But I can't help but feel a little jealous." She stood up, feigning hurt. But the young child, he didn't yet understand it was fake. With wide eyes he tugged on the hem of her skirt, pleading her to look down. "Don't be! After you can tell me a story and we can go look at birds in the yard like we did yesterday!" For the smallest Ohtori, life was still full of fun and enjoyment. Trivial pleasures he would soon regret for taking granted of later in life._

_Knowing she didn't have the heart to continue this façade she broke into a grin, giving him a last pat on the head before pushing him in the direction of the sitting room door. "Sure Ohtori-chama, whatever you wish." Giving him a last grin she picked up the abandoned bundle of linens, making her way down the hall. Many of the other staff as usual near glared at her, for being so friendly with an Ohtori! Especially considering she was still a young maid and new to the staff. She was only nineteen, and had worked there for a year after leaving high school. The fact she was easily one of the best-looking servants there didn't help. With her green eyes and vibrant strawberry blonde hair, it was a wonder she was considered Japanese. Many times the youngest Ohtori joked, saying she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and would thus marry her when he gets older. "When I'm mature enough to do so, how about when I'm twelve?" His innocence never ceased to bring a smile to her face. He was such a sweet child, and she felt it was her relationship with the boy that had spared her job on numerous occasions. _

_But everyone in the family disapproved of this connection, even Fuyumi on occasions. It wasn't right for the boy to be so close to a maid, one who was probably going to be transferred or fired one of these days soon. So as the youngest son bolted in, shutting the door behind him as best he could for his height, a lone figure sitting by the window greeted him. A woman with short raven hair, feathered at the base of her neck sat atop a window seat cushion, a tray of tea and hot cakes accompanying her. He eyed the steam as he walked up to her, careful to not run into the tray. _

"_Ah, here's my sunshine!" The boy jumped up next to her on the cushion, her pale hand finding its way to run through his hair. Brown eyes, dark as the cherry oak furniture looked down at the boy. "What took you so long? My little five year old too busy to spend time with me now?" He huffed, arms crossed. "I only just turned five a few weeks ago you know." She let loose a chuckle, pulling him close. "Of course, how could I forget. Didn't you want a dinosaur for your birthday?" An eagerly nodding head answered her, words muffled as crushed his face to her small frame. "And I know they're extinct, but a fossil would have worked just as well." She sighed. Ever the bright child. _

"_Well now, even if you didn't get that, I'm sure you liked your other presents." "Oh yes! Itsuki gave me this blanket! It was blue, and in it she stitched my name on one side, the date and her name on the other side. So I won't ever forget her. But then I told her it was silly she should think of such a thing, since she is going to be with me forever."" Eyes narrowed over the youngest Ohtori's head, her grip tightening. "I don't think you should spend so much time with that girl. I don't trust her." Puzzled the boy looked up. "But she's my friend. She plays with me more than my brothers and sister, and she says she loves me more than you or Father…Oh." His eyes grew wide, out of fear. "I didn't mean that! I mean, she just always seems to be around more than either of you, so I guess it just-"_

_Without ever breaking her stoic face a hand calmly reached out, slapping itself against the boy's cheek with force._

_With a snap his head rammed against the glass window, his body hitting the frame and falling down to the other side of the cushion. His small hand was hiding the red, trying to block out the pain. Eyes shut he brought himself to a bowed position, face buried in the cushions, like she told him to do when he was very bad. "I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean it!" His voice came out in a squeak, frantic. She had scolded him many times before, but never reached out. This just, shocked him._

"_What did I tell you about respecting your elders?" "I'm sorry!" "You should be little one." With a cold grip she brought his quivering chin up, tilting his head to inspect the damage. Clucking her tongue, she forced his stare to be directed at her. Eyes still narrowed, she frowned. "Don't be staring at me with those deer eyes. You're making me feel almost sorry for punishing you." "P-Punishing…"She sighed. The boy was quite bright for his age, but still lacked sense at times. "Yes. You know how I have scolded in the past, and started to sound like a broken record. Well, if you're old enough to be smarting off, then you're old enough to deal with new reprimandents. Think of it as more than scolding. But it'll be a secret. Only you and I should have to concern ourselves with this matter. Okay?" He nodded, cheeks wincing with pain. "Good. And you take care to not mention this to that idiot girl Itsuki. Or else I will have her leave, no matter what you say." His young heart pulsed nervously. He liked Itsuki, she couldn't leave. So he had to listen to her. It was only right. "Okay." Finally a smile broke out on the woman's face._

_With outstretched arms she brought the boy closer, seeming to ignore the millisecond of reluctance he had when she touched him. She shushed his whimpers, rocking them both gently on the cushion. "It's alright. Just listen to me, okay? Everything will be alright." Brown eyes flashed over his form, as he was trying to forget. She was acting nice again, everything would be alright. He shouldn't have said that, he was right. It was his fault, he deserved that slap. His five year old mind was busy at work, trying to direct the blame at his deserving self. Certainly not at her._

_But her earthen gaze fell on the teapot, the steam rising in tendrils. It was quite hot. Too hot for her. Her mouth slipped into a grin all but friendly. "It's okay, just quiet down, or I might have to give your more punishment." His jolt of fright made her laugh, while she still eyed the sure-to-be scalding pot of tea. "Hush little one, hush YoYo-chan." He whispered, into her own silken dress of deep purple. "Okay, I will Mama. " He would, he would try to the best he could. Like the good little boy he was. He was his mother's favorite after all._

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Haruhi's footsteps echoed in the hallway, this place all but bare. After the Ohtori special agents or whatever they wanted to call themselves showed up, no doubt by Kyouya's cell phone signal, she all but pleaded to come along. She had to honor Fuyumi's orders, for she told her to not leave Kyouya's side, by any means necessary. So here she found herself in a supposedly secret clinic of one of the many Ohtori hospital branches, somewhere in Sendai she believed. All on Fuyumi's orders. It was funny, for before a few hours ago she never knew that Kyouya even had a sister. And she seemed so happy, as she first answered. But then after explaining the situation, she too gained that air of confidence. She figured it was a family thing.

But Haruhi, a part of her was still frantic at Kyouya's well-being. She could only catch a bit of the medical garble being spoken as they raced here, and all she knew now of his condition was that he currently had entered a cationic state. She knew that much, she knew it was not better than a coma. But one where he was still conscious, on the inside. So while he shut off the entire world, on the inside, his mind was surely a horrid place to be. If how he was acting before slipping away was a sign of anything.

Like a lost puppy she trailed in a room after they finally wheeled him through. He was placed near machines, something she told herself to not worry about. They were standard heart rate and blood pressure monitors, nothing like what she experienced before. Hospitals for Haruhi were a place she rather not be, after the death of her mother. But Kyouya wasn't sick like that, here she was losing her senses just because he was in trouble, of the mental kind.

After those doctors, the men in white coats left Haruhi took it upon herself to call her father, alert him of not going to be home right away.

"Umm, dad?"

"Haruhi!! How's your date going?"

A vein twitched. No matter how much she persuaded him otherwise, he still had it in that crazy brain of his that she and Kyouya were going out now. Something he welcomed with open arms and she disagreed with passionately.

"…Dad, it's not a date."

"Pfft. Fine, play hard to get for the poor boy."

"Dad, I'm not going to be home soon, I think I might be home around tomorrow even."

The silence on the other end was deadly, just as much as the growl erupting from Ranka-san's end of the line.

"WHY? Is it that boy?! I knew I should have never trusted that Kyouya. I always said stay away from guys wearing glasses. They always end up being the devil themselves. Too smart for their own good I say. So I will just rush on down right now to pick you up and save my beloved daughter from his evil clutches."

"Dad, it's not like that."

"and you being so noble! Too much for your own good. If he's pressuring you in any way, I'll be sure to snap that rich neck of his."

"D-Dad, it's because of the Host Club. Tamaki-sempai dragged us into some other stupid weekend activity. They're paying for it and everything though. We'll just be in Sendai somewhere."

"Oh, then that's different!"

"Good…"

"I'll just have to crack that idiot blonde's head in two then!"

She paled.

"Have fun Haruhi!"

"Okay then Dad."

"But not too much fun."

"Right. Bye."

After Ranka hung up, she collapsed in a chair next to Kyouya's bedside. She hated lying to her father, she never did. But then what possessed her to do so now? Did the fact Kyouya was in the center of all this mean anything? It was a puzzling thought indeed. But upon mention of the Shadow King, she gave a sad sigh. Up she stood, walking to his bed's edge. With shaky hands she placed his glasses on the end table, bringing her hand back to run through his bangs. He remained irresponsive, and she fully couldn't believe the situation. Just because he accidently punched her, hit her without thinking, all this happened? Did harming her really affect him that much? And her face was only red in the right corner of her brow, not something to be that worried about.

But Kyouya, his reaction did. The only sounds were the beeps of those machines, not even a loud breathing coming from him. Was he even breathing, what he was dreaming about. She desperately wanted to know. So engrossed she was in thinking that the arrival of a certain raven-haired female she ignored.

But upon entering the room where her brother lied, the girl huddled over him, at his bedside, she couldn't stop the gasp that left her lips, mouth went to her mouth in shock. Very quickly Haruhi stepped back, hands ripping out of his hair, face very red. "I'm s-s-sorry. I didn't know I was over-stepping anything, please forgive me for my forwardness." Haruhi bowed down, as Fuyumi approached her, the voice usually so loud and cheerful lowered to a whisper. "My, so you are Haruhi Fujioka." Puzzled she raised her head, nodding. "Yes. Kyouya has told you about me?" To respect her brother's privacy she gave a small laugh, hand waving in the air. "Who doesn't know about this very special, apparently female scholarship student."

"I see." Haruhi sat herself down at the chair, glance never leaving the woman's. But I do have to say Kyouya never has told me about having a sister." Making her way to her brother's bedside, she gave the girl a sad smile. "I tend to be a sister he enjoys the presence of quite guiltily." Her hand went to the boy's shoulder, squeezing it in affection. "On many accounts I've been told that I'm just like that friend of his Tamaki, with my hyper tendencies and fascination of the commoner lifestyle." Inwardly Haruhi groaned. Now she could understand why such a sister would be kept secret by him.

"But the reason why I was so shocked upon entering, you see. I never saw you before, or a picture. So as you stood there, huddled and eyes so full of compassion for my poor brother, and your eyes, your whole look, even your voice a tad." Fuyumi met Haruhi's gaze, not sure whether this was good or bad for Kyouya. "You see, you seemed just like our mother just now, granted your hair is brown instead of black, but other than that…" Haruhi, her mid was swimming. So there was a mother in the picture. But then why no mention of her? Why was his older sister, instead of a mother, so tenderly taking care of Kyouya? And she looked like herself? The wife to one of the most powerful men in Japan, looked like a commoner girl.

"His…Mother." "Yes, which is why I'm so shocked Kyouya cares for you so, not to mean any disrespect Haruhi-chan." Her head snapped up, not quite believing what she just heard. "Kyouya-sempai, cares for me? Certainly there's a mistake." Seeing she quite over-stepped the guidelines set for her by her brother. Fuyumi chose to answer Haruhi's obvious next question.

"Haruhi-chan, our mother, meant so much more to my youngest brother than any of us siblings. I mean I cared for her, as a daughter often does, but with Kyou-chan, it was different." Haruhi stood up, making her way to Kyouya's bed again opposite his sister. "In my knowledge she wasn't a bad mother, but in my knowledge she wasn't a bad mother, but m poor little brother, he seemed to think of her as his protector, he feared her as if she was a god. It was always puzzlesome to us other siblings. We never felt as connected to our mother in that way. But Kyouya, especially after he turned five, he changed." Fuyumi's eyes went distant, hand continuing to rub down the boy's shoulder. "He was so happy and bright, full of life before that year. You would hardly have recognized him. Tell anyone back then Kyouya Ohtori would grow up to be this outer cold shell of a person, no matter how caring on the inside, they would have laughed at you. It was our two other brothers, Akito and Makabi who were to be the serious clones of Father. Kyouya was to be the bright spot, the happy go-lucky son." Fuyumi's eyes flickered, her gaze to Kyouya's still form. "And I would have given anything to have that prediction come true." Haruhi, to her this was all news. Kyouya assumed to be the fruitful, joyous child. Then why, what happened. "You're probably wondering what happened." Haruhi gave a jump. So she could read thoughts too?

"I'm not at liberty to say what went on, I feel it should be Kyou-chan's story to tell you. Right now I just want my brother to snap out of this." "Will he?" "I'm sure, it only seems right." Fuyumi spoke of this as if it happened before. But no, Haruhi shook her head. But why?

"He'll wake up when he comes to truth with what happened. It certainly took longer than I expected, twelve years is certainly a long enough time to be repressing all this." "Repressing, Kyouya-sempai?" Fuyumi sighed, stepping back to give her and Kyouya space. "What did he do to make him like this?" Haruhi, starting down at the seemingly peaceful Kyouya, reached up, brushing aside where her brown hair covered her forehead. Fuyumi, upon seeing the red looked down at her brother, at his still fisted, frozen hand. "And this was in reaction to you touching him yes?" "Well, I've reached out to Kyouya-sempai before, and him to me in his own ways. But it seems everyone else, and me at times too, if I'm too sudden, he'll jump." The older female's brow rose, head tilted. "And I'm only assuming it's because of who you are Haruhi-chan. Kyouya has a mind which hides problems so easily, he tucks them away until they burrow in his mind and explode into bigger problems, like you see happening now. The appearance of you, the stress he's been under,-" "The dreams." Fuyumi froze, whispered back. "The dreams?" "He told me he has had dreams these past few weeks, of being dropped by a woman I assumed, who had this smell which upturned unpleasant memories he said. And she said YoYo-chan, this really seemed to scare Kyouya-sempai." "Unbelievable."

Haruhi now titled her head, puzzled. "Fuyumi-san?" "While I can't say Kyou-chan doesn't like you, on the contrary I think you are held in great regard for him, I can't fear but you, your presence riled up some greater feelings." Her heart stopped, blood ran cold. "So I caused this…""NO! No. I think the fact you saying these dreams started a few weeks ago, when a few weeks ago was May 2nd, and you looking so much like her, it all just fell apart for poor Kyou-chan." "He mentioned May 2nd, to me. Before I reached out and noticed that…" "That what Haruhi-chan?" So his family didn't really know. He kept it from them.

Haruhi's failure to answer Fuyumi just shrugged, her eyes not leaving Kyouya. "But you see, May 2nd, 1998. Eleven years ago. It only made sense everything started to happen these past few weeks. That date you see, that was the day when our mother died."

_________________________________________________________________-

_"Ohtori-chama, are you up for building a tower of cards, a story?" "No Itsuki-san, not today." It was a few months after Kyouya turned five, a cold February morning. And it puzzled the young adult to no end the sudden change over the Young Master. Lately he has gotten more and more reserved, not seeking out anyone's attention or love than his mother. It was like she had become his only person in life, the only one he allowed himself to get close to. And it hurt Itsuki terribly. The day he started adding san to her name, she just wanted to hug the poor child. And she did, but soon let go as he froze in her arms, totally unresponsive. Where was the bright, giggling boy who rushed into a willing embrace?_

_Lately he had changed, he was becoming like his brothers even. So Itsuki just sighed, giving him a gentle pat on the hand. She tried to ignore how he brought his head forward, arms tucked into himself. "Suit yourself Ohtori-chama. I'm just lonely you know. I'm missing my little friend." And then, so quickly, he turned to her, voice no more than a whisper, eyes anxious. "Me too Itsuki-san, me too." Then out of nowhere a figure appeared, walking down the hall to meet up with the two._

_"Itsuki," a stern voice called out. Bumbling she bowed down, eyes on the floor. "Ohtori-sama. What shall I do?" Kyouya, upon his mother entering the scene seemed to have shrunk, his head also down and buried in her skirts. "I'm sorry Mama," was what he seemed to have called out, or at least what Itsuki could make out. "Itsuki?" "H-Hai?!" "I think you should listen to my son. If he says he doesn't want to play, you shouldn't push him. He has much more important things to be worrying about than mindless games with meaningless servants. Do you understand?" Itsuki slowly raised her head, the harsh brown eyes seeming to be burning her soul. "H-Hai Ohtori-sama. I apologize, it will not happened again." "It won't, for now I am herby forbidding you to have any contact with my son." _

_At once the two called out in protest, Itsuki with a "Madame!" and Kyouya with a "M-Mama?" Eyes glinting dangerously, she grabbed hold of her son, pushing him harshly behind her. "You are in no position to say otherwise. Obey that order if you want to continue working here, you got that maid?" Itsuki bowed, eyes cast downwards. Ohtori-sama never did like her she knew, but this was so final, so sudden. She barely even talked with the boy. What was she scared of Kyouya saying or doing with her? But she was right, she had no place to think otherwise. So with a final bow and quick, sad glance in the quivering boy's direction she walked back, towards the main hall. "I understand and obey Ohtori-sama. I apologize for my forward behavior with Ohtori-chama." The elder female only nodded in response, waiting until Itsuki had left before glowering at the boy beneath her. Itsuki, as she walked away, made it a mental note to find out exactly what was wrong with the Young Master. Her gut feeling told her that Ohtori-sama was at the bottom of Kyouya's seemingly newfound strange behavior._

_So forward the mother strode, down to her sitting room, a stumbling and gabbing Kyouya following suit. She ignored him, ignored his common excuses and apologies. Already, so soon, he was going back to that girl. Of course he tried to rebuff that maid, she made sure that Kyouya learned to do such a thing. But still, she saw that gaze. It was enough for that blasted girl to probably find out something. Which was why Kyouya needed to be taught a lesson once more. It was his fault really. Something he too was pleading out to her. Like she wanted to hear excuses made out of desperation and pity. So in the two went, taking care the door was locked behind them. As she made her way to the window seat, the meek boy trailed behind, warily watching from the middle of the room. The ever-present tray of hot tea and cakes was there. But now, a fairly new addition for these past few weeks as atop that tray as well. Ohtori-sama's sewing needle. It wasn't a mystery she sewed, it was something she often achieved during her spare time. And she was quite skilled too, making various afghans and blankets for her family. But of course most of her projects were for Kyouya. Her favorite child._

_But it was that sewing needle the small boy feared, what he hated. As soon as he caught sight of the metal point his mother grinned, happy he was catching on so fast. His hand immediately went to the right arm, trying to tug the sleeve of the long shirts he often wears now. Because of that needle. So up the lady went, reaching out for the sanitized needle, walking close to the cowering boy. _

_"NO! Mama, I said I was sorry, PLEASE MAMA!" She tsked the boy under her breath. "What have I told you about yelling YoYo-chan?" The closer she went, the boy backed up against the wall in the small sitting room. He looked around, trying to find something, anything. Ever so calm, with a touch of ice, she grabbed his right arm, the sleeve sliding down. "No! Please Mama!" Tears already were springing from his grey eyes, eyes that had seen already the dark side of love. "no yelling YoYo-chan, I'll only have to punish you more if you do so." The small boy was thrashing under his mother's grip, her fingers pressing down on the past evidence of her punishment. _

_It was exactly what a certain girl would see, approximately eleven years from now. With time they would fade to that pale glazed over white most scars were reduced to, only noticeable if you started hard enough and looked for them. But now, they were fresh, and clearly visible. It both pleased and disgusted the mother, it frightened Kyouya to death._

_For starting at the base of his wrist were thin lines, thin red ruptures of his flesh. Some were straight, others jagged, depending on her mood for the day. They all snaked down though, to the crook of his elbow. The sensitive skin of his underarm was plagued with the consequences of his actions. Only he was responsible for this pain. Which was what she told him, and what he believed._

_So here he was, yelling out, frantic cries of forgiveness and apologizes mixed together. "M-Mama! MAMA! I'm s-s-sorry, I'll be good. I did bad and I'll be good!" He was on his knees, arm yanked painfully and awkwardly out as she balanced it on her knee. Devoid of emotion she looked down at the sobbing child, eyes brown and soulless. "That's what you say every time." Before he could bore her more with his excuses down the needle went, just centimeters away from his pulse vein. He screamed, not bothering to try and quiet down as his mother told him to do. Luckily this whole house was built soundproof, so no nosy servants would have their ears split by this troublesome child's yells. "I don't know why you keep on doing bad." As she talked the needle dragged itself in, scraping down his arm at her slow, collected pace. He red carpet below. It never needed cleaning, for it was colored almost daily. People was particularly loud today, so she made sure that this line was to be jagged. In a zigzag motion the outer skin ripped out, blood leaking out and staining the carpet, conveniently a deep red. Often she was complimented the rich red, asking how she possibly got it to never fade. Blood was the answer._

_Kyouya threw himself to the ground, the blood leaking down and out of his outstretched arm and trailing through his mass of hair. It hurt, no matter how much it happened he couldn't' get used to the pain, couldn't block it out numb like his mother told him to. So on and on he screamed, stopping only to cough and hack out more sobs. His left arm was pressed into his body, thankfully never harmed but he still feared. Then, after this seemed to carry on for years the needle left his skin, stopping just shy of his elbow. The needle, dripping red, she took care to place in the pin cushion adorning a nearby table. It too was red, although it used to be white._

_She dropped Kyouya's arm, making her way to a dresser where gauze was kept. Not yelling he just heaved dry sobs, trying to hold back more cries, more pleas. Lock these emotions away. Lock up his feelings as she so often told him to do. Which was what the boy was trying to do now, collapsed on the floor, his right arm a gruesome thing to look at. He shut his eyes, turning his head away. As she came upon his arm again, this time with the touch of so gentle a mother. She sighed, wrapping up the arm, even kissing it to try and assuage the pain. "I hate it when you misbehave. I hate what I do." Kyouya stayed silent. Better to not answer. He learned to never answer, unless he wanted the next step to be taken. She told him a nursery rhyme, haunting in nature._

_First the wrist, then the shoulders, then the little boy will smolder._

_He had only went up to shoulders twice, both instances where he foolishly wore a short-sleeve shirt in public. Thankfully he had the bandage around his arm, but when they got home she made sure that his shoulders now, both sides were punished. By slapping them, using a ruler type object even he didn't know she had. She spanked him like that until they grew red and bleed, until he got the message. There were rules he had to listen to, because he was a good little boy. _

_He yanked his arm back as soon as she bandaged him up, her touch now something he grew to fear. Along with others now, he was discovering. For who knew if someone else, seemingly nice, punished like his mother. Behind those smiles everyone could be hurting their children behind closed doors. Precautions had to be made. _

_"YoYo-chan." He stiffened, before bringing himself to a sitting position, resting his red-bandaged arm across his lap. He leaned his head against the wall, eyes wide and fearful, and his voice quiet as always now. "Yes M-Mama." "I hate your eyes. I hate how you look at me." He quickly shut his eyes, head bowed to avoid her gaze. "I'm sorry Mama." He felt her footsteps receded, heard the clink of the tea pot as she poured her tea, always scalding and undrinkable in a pretty china cup. Then he felt her shadow as she walked back, tea in her hand. He didn't know what she was going to do. Hopefully she wouldn't pour it over him. He hadn't been that bad yet right? He squeezed his injured arm, trying to distract himself from the pain and thoughts._

_"I don't believe I told you to close your eyes. I just told you I hated them. Look at me." Her voice, so melodic, so haunting. So much he hated it, but loved it. He had to. _

_His neck he rose, eyes up at her. The tea was high up, near her lips. He could see the steam already. "Y-Yes Mama?" "I wonder how you would look with glasses." He allowed himself to be puzzled, eyebrows bunching together. "B-But my eyes, I can see. Only Father and one-chan wear them." The tea cup lowered, its contents precariously making waves in the cup. "Yes, your father and Makabi wear them, so why not you? Because you want to be like your brothers. They're such good boys. They never needed punishment, like you." He nodded, eyes still focused on the tea cup. "B-But Mama, how can I wear glasses?" Her mouth turned down, brow creased. "How many times have I told you to not speak out?" "I'm sorry Mama!" "It's fine, I just let myself get carried away. Listen to me now. I think you should wear glasses now. Do you agree?" Kyouya nodded his head. Whatever she said, he had to agree. _

_His grip tightened on his arm, the pain still there. "So in order to have you wear glasses, so the eyes I hate I won't have to see anymore, something needs to be done." Lower the cup went, it was there, laughing at him. Her words were barely processed. He was just inching against the wall some more, arms hugged to his body. "Just remember when you get the glasses to always have them glare, like your Father's and Makabi's do. So people won't have to stare at your ugly, ugly eyes. So they won't know what you're thinking. Because if people find out what you're thinking, find out about all we do, I'll be very angry. I'll make Itsuki go away." _

_She leaned down, tea cup inches from Kyouya, her face next to his. Her breath, clean and fresh with the scent of a faraway spice, the smell haunted him. "I'll be angry. Everything that we've done and will do in the future will pale in comparison. Closer she came, the closer the cup came. "I will make your life a living hell if mine becomes one."Before he could blink she brought herself up, the tea cup still in her grasp as the herbal water, hot and boiling was thrown into his wide-eyed stare._

_The rest of this instant was a blur to Kyouya, even he couldn't recall in his own fragile sub-conscious what happened. All he could keep track of was her laugh, how the pain in his eyes was a thousand times worse than any he had experienced, or would. He remembered how he based his head into the floor, his eyes burning as they leaked tears. Then there was his mother acting frantic, the servants in fright. Even his father came, mumbling with his mother about his clumsiness. Did he run in into the tea cart? He didn't remember Itsuki though, whose face was hard set at his mother. He didn't know she suspected something now. He just remembered a few days later, now equipped with the rimless glasses still worn, even today. And he remembered how much his eyes hurt after that, how without the glasses his vision was worse than anyone's in the family. He remembered how he would always look at his mother with the familiar glare of his glasses. And he remembered how much he hated tea after that._

__________________________________________________-_

Haruhi sat down, making way on the chair behind her. So much information to process, in but a few short hours. How was she to know the "non-sequential" family member was his very own mother. Fuyumi's attention went from the girl to the wildly beeping monitor next to her. Kyouya's heart pattern seemed to be racing. In his coma-like state he must have run across a memory, a particularly bad one. If only she knew what Kyouya did, if only Haruhi knew. But no, this was only for Kyouya's slipping mind, at the moment. So Haruhi, she sat back limply in the chair, all questions of what she was going to say forgotten in this instant.

"Is he okay?" She eyed the monitor warily. Fuyumi, her hand trailing to Kyouya's clutched fist, tried to smooth the taught nerves under her own grip. "I could only hope. He probably is stuck in a particularly jarring memory. If only we knew. Then we could help him I'm sure." Haruhi, wise in matters pertaining to a dead mother, only shook her head. "Not always. Sometimes you just have to fight through things on your own, and be comforted after the battle is over." Her gaze flickered to Kyouya, whose back was to her. Already he seemed to have been in that fetal position of his. She wondered how it never came to notice before.

"Right now Kyouya-sempai, just needs us to be there for him when he wakes up." Fuyumi nodded wordlessly. This girl, who looked so much like their mother, she was right. Fuyumi squeezed the hand of her brother, thoughts focused on him. "Wake up nee-chan. There's a girl waiting for you. To help lead you out." She whispered this, so Haruhi wouldn't hear. "What happened that I don't know about?"

Kyouya, his eyelids flickered briefly before shutting once again. His heart, though beating wildly, was hurting. And the pain would only get worse.

**______________________________________________**

**Well. I think I should have posted a graphic warning for this chapter or something…Heh. Well, how do you all like this? Sorry it took two days to get out, I was just busy with my videos and such. I think I might work like that. Fanfiction one day, videos the next. You all think I should? And look up my youtube account, link in my profile. New vids out, and they're all funny. A different mood than his fanfic certainly at the moment! And I have some special news for all you Ouran fans. It just came to my attention yesterday, that the Ouran va's, and I mean the Japanese ones because the English dub is FAIL, in my book anyways. But the original Japanese va's, they each sang a character song for their own character! Kyouya's was the most sad, but considering it's Kyouya, makes sense yes? And his voice. Hearing Kyouya sing…*fangirl swoon moment* all the other hosts have songs too, and I suggest checking them out! Just go to my youtube account and go to my favorites. Tsumetai Yoru is Kyouya's, and from there you can find the other host's. It means cold night in English. So sad…and I'm positive that I'm going to incorporate it in my fanfic, at one point. So that's all for now, stay tuned for part two of Kyouya's painful trip down memory lane! And REVIEW!! Please? I love all my regular's, but according to my stats page plenty more people like the story, but never review. Take the time, a sentence even. It inspires me believe it or not, wants me to write even faster! Truly it does!**

**~ja ne**


	7. Clarity

_A child's memory is a confusing thing. How much can you trust their perceptions, how much are you willing to listen. When you ask a boy whose only perceptions are of monsters and ghosts, how exactly can you find the real truth locked away? And what if the very boy your asking is smarter than normal, a child with a very real conception of this world. Is his word to be trusted, don't you want to believe him? It is here where we go astray…_

_____________________________________________________________

And the pain would only get worse.

"Fuyumi-san…why has no one come here yet barreling in?" Fuyumi, only catching the end of Haruhi's sentence looked up, dropping her hand back in her lap. Sitting on the chair opposite Haruhi she leaned back, a small smile on her face. "I think you mean to say why reporters or the rest of your friends aren't barreling in at any second to see about my brother's well-being?" The girl was sharp, something which pleased the elder female greatly.

"You are right in suspecting such a thing, being an Ohtori you think news of this would have hit the reporters everywhere by now. The youngest son sick, heir to the Ohtori companies, why that would cause a whirlwind of activity in the business world I can tell you that. Many companies would be worried on such a thing." Haruhi nodded, it made sense, in a way you had to be rich to understand she supposed.

"But you see, even if I am without the Ohtori name anymore, I still have some access to their medical buildings. I live close to hear in Sendai, and my father gave me this clinic for my own personal private use. And the doctors here are under direct orders from me to keep all patients in here a secret, not to be disclosed to the general public. Besides, most of the patients here anyways are just simple, common people who come for check-ups and such. This is a free clinic mostly I gave to the city."

Certainly a surprising answer, one that Haruhi didn't expect. But she got up, making her way now to Kyouya's bedside, looking across at Fuyumi. "My, that's very kind of you. I didn't know Kyouya-sempai had such a sister. Makes sense he would keep the only caring Ohtori a secret." The elder gave a small laugh, seeing that Kyouya certainly had more to tell this girl. "Please Haruhi-chan. If it wasn't for his appearances to be kept up by our father and such, the Kyouya I know would have instilled a clinic just like this one in every poor neighborhood in Japan." She lowered her gaze to her brother. "He's such a kind-hearted boy underneath all his shields and defenses. I fear it was something he learned he must hide, or be forced to suffer through the consequences."

Haruhi felt a pang in her heart, hand reaching out to encompass Kyouya's right wrist. It seemed he was getting out of whatever state he was in, hopefully he would be out of it soon enough. But when he awoke, she was sure to ask more questions. There was still the matter of all this he was hiding from her, and she feared his family, or at least sister also. Why else wouldn't she be talking about, explaining Kyouya and what he found. And if it was what she feared, Haruhi could give another reason why Kyouya acted so shut off from the world. Why he tried to so thoroughly convince her and everyone else he was a self-centered egotistical jerk. She smiled, running her hand down his wrist and arm, following the thin grooves pale and taught in nature. With all the sleeveless shirts he's worn in the past, how did this go unnoticed, by anyone?

But she always did find it odd Kyouya, in casual attire, would seem to try to always wear something short-sleeved or sleeveless. As if he was flaunting this in everyone's face. Or just going through a slight stage of rebellion. Perhaps he was nagged as a child to wear long-sleeved shirts to cover these, and now he was acting out? Something one couldn't imagine for the youngest Ohtori, but then again, who would ever get close enough to look? He seemed to always be in the backlight, always careful to keep distance from people, even customers he was never forward or even close with, like the twins or Tamaki. Was there another reason he did such a thing?

She gave a sigh, pulling out the arm so Fuyumi could see it as well. Enough for guesses, now she needed to find real answers. "Fuyumi-san, did you know about these?" At mention of her name her gaze flickered from Haruhi's body, so blatantly trying to give comfort to her brother, to the arm she held out. She furrowed her brow, standing up to approach his bedside closer. "Notice what Haruhi-chan?" Out she held his arm further, dragging up the white sleeve so it passed his elbow, where the marks seemed to end. "These! How could these have gone unnoticed for so long, especially by his family?"

Fuyumi lowered her head, fingers lightly tracing the lines, some straight others jagged, that seemed to encompass his whole underside of the lower arm. His skin allowed these to be hidden, except in the direct light when the pale, taught, smooth scar tissue lit up, reflected the light almost as if a beacon. Her breath hitched the sight not foreign to her but utterly shocked that Haruhi learned about these. Her brother had always been careful in the past, making sure no one knew. But why her then?

Nodding grimly she gave the arm a pat, taking it from Haruhi and lowering it under the sheets once again. "I know of them. And not exactly you are right Haruhi-chan. You see, the family does know of them. At least of their existence." Her gaze flickered to Kyouya, his face set in a deep frown. "No one knows where they came from exactly. I remember when he didn't have them, as a small child. But it seems after our mother died, that's when they came to light. Excuse the pun." Haruhi didn't even notice, her now empty hand going out to his hair. A movement seemingly becoming more and more comfortable for the girl. It wasn't as weird to make contact with Kyouya now. Almost as if she was expected to run a hand through his hair, on top of his shoulder. In times of need one wanted to feel secure, wanted to know someone was by their side. Or at least that was what Haruhi often felt like during a thunderstorm. One of her moments of weakness.

"He never told you where they came from?" "You see, Kyouya a few months before our mother's death, Kyouya became an interesting boy. Always he seemed to wear long-sleeved shirts, always had that bandage across his arm. Our mother told us to think nothing of it so we didn't our lives already so filled with the trivialities someone of our status often experiences. But if only I had been more connected to my brother, as close to him then as I am now, as much as he would like to say otherwise." Her frown matched Kyouya's fingers still running up and down the grooves of his childhood. "Some wondered perhaps our mother knew something, for he always was with her. Many of the servants assumed such a thing, but we, as the family, who could think of it? She loved Kyouya our mother did; always made sure he never was far from her. It made me a little jealous actually." She gave chuckle of embarrassment. "I was her only daughter; you think she would be all over me with talks and presents. But no, Kyou-chan here was her shining light. This was why her death hit him the hardest."

Suddenly, her grip on his arm tightened slightly, the barely conscious Kyouya retracting the limb but a few centimeters, as an involuntarily reflex. "It was foolish of us to think these were self-inflicting, when Kyouya was so young. But we don't know. Our mother always did show disdain, a lack of trust in a maid particularly close to Kyouya. Itsuki was her name. She loved the boy as if he was her own. Something even I figured would not be good for Kyouya. In our world Haruhi, the status and relationships between the classes do have to be conducted as such. Slowly our mother dragged Kyouya away, but Itsuki, as our mother told us, was never happy at doing so. There was never any proof, but I along with our brothers thought that perhaps this maid had something to do with these scars. But Kyouya, being the boy he was, would never say ill of anyone. He just shrugged of our questions, always running off to mother when we got too inquisitive you see. And our mother too told us to not dwell on it so much. They were just simple scratches the clumsy boy received. They increased in number after he got his glasses you see."

Somehow, that story didn't add up. To Haruhi's mind, this story just didn't add up. One would think a true mother would have fired this Itsuki, even if they were just rumors. A mother is supposed to protect their child, have their safety be number one priority. But this mother, seemed too flippant about everything. But then, where did these scars very well come from? Nothing made sense. Haruhi shook her head out of frustration, fingers entangling themselves in the black mass of hair. She needed to know more.

"But Fuyumi-san, forgive me for being so direct, no one ever took it upon themselves to just ask Kyouya-sempai or his mother alone what this all meant?" "We were thinking of it, but then our mother passed on, and Itsuki just seemed so guilty, it was only reasonable we believed in out theory." "Guilty. How? And what exactly did your mother suffer from, how did she die?"

Fuyumi's face tightened, hand reaching out once more to Kyouya's arm. Here she traced a line far different from the others. It seemed to be deeper, much deeper. As if muscle too was harmed as whatever caused these lines to draw on. At times it was straight, others it seemed to jar off his arm entirely. Criss-crossing over the already present lines, even over the very veins where his pulse would be. A dangerous scar, one that surely had to be the most painful, cause the most danger to him.

She pointed it out, Haruhi removing her own hand to place it upon this new scar. "That was the only one we saw open, and it was by far the most dangerous one he received. It seemed to have been drawn out by a needle Haruhi; someone plunged a needle in my brother and dragged it down! Who could do such a thing…to such a small boy…?" Her voice trailed off, Haruhi trying to control the look of hate and disgust, wanting to spread across her features. Indeed, who would do such a thing to a boy? To Kyouya, it was horrible. To think someone, that girl Itsuki if Haruhi heard right was jealous enough, cruel enough to do such a thing. Her free hand clenched into a fist, eyes not leaving the arm. "And you know for sure she did this?" "Kyouya later would try and tell us that it wasn't her, but he was left in such a state after everything, we couldn't justly count on what he said. For some reason he still loved that girl, even after we found in her hand the very needle, bloody and red. We only had the right to assume that she was the cause for everything else. Wouldn't you agree?"

Fuyumi had a point, Haruhi had to nod. She herself was going to trust whatever Kyouya said, but until he woke up, what else was she to say? Itsuki, Kyouya's mother, they all seemed to be connected somehow, in however sinister a way. But she asked the question bugging her most of all. Perhaps it would give some light to this situation.

"Fuyumi-san, forgive me for asking about a detail obviously very delicate, but I have to know. What happened the day she died? What happened to Kyouya? You make it seem like he near was in a state of hysterics." "Not that far I'm afraid. Shortly after…that, he shut himself off, much like the way he is now. That's why I'm not as anxious now you see. He will wake up, probably later tonight, after he has come to terms with his own mind. I thought it so unusual for a boy so young going through all this in the past, for he was only five remember. But Kyouya, seemed to grow up in that period of time. After he woke up Kyouya always seemed to be distant from us all, not really remembering clearly the events that he was witness to days prior. His mind was boggled, he couldn't clearly remember where he got these marks he told us. The doctors said not to fear, it was probably better in the long-run. Better that a boy such as Kyouya couldn't remember everything. But I knew that years from now bits and pieces would resurface, all the horrors he went through as a child would show up, in the forms of dreams, unknown feelings, tangled emotions. I fear you fast-forwarded this process Haruhi. Somehow you caused him to want to get through this faster, to deal with it in a matter he never does."

All Haruhi could do was nod. He did handle this differently, reaching out to her, instead of shoving this all under the rug like he most often had done in the past. "So you see, in helping him cope the healthy way, I fear he locked himself in these memories, to finally come face to face with them. I won't be surprised if he wakes up slightly dazed, a different person even, in regards to attitude. I could only hope that whatever is going on in that maze of his mind, it won't hurt him too much." Her voice ended softly, Haruhi too wishing the same. All she wanted was Kyouya back, and she took note of how Fuyumi so effortlessly refused to give details of May 2nd. So it was something she would have to ask Kyouya herself. Fair enough. She just wanted him to wake up, to see exactly why Fuyumi hated this Itsuki so, what exactly she did or didn't do.

"Her name was Rerura." Haruhi's head snapped up at Fuyumi's words. "Re...rura?" "A funny name yes? She seemed to like it. So much easier to write, and she never had to bother with that complicated Kanji she says. Just a few simple characters and you have her name. It was amusing to see Kyou-chan try to say it. But of course, her name is never mention anymore."

Haruhi nodded, not entirely sure why her name was given to her. Was there meaning behind it? She still had to know exactly what this Rerura was like, where she came from. But for now, a name was enough. All she wanted was for Kyouya to wake up, tell her everything. It was the least he could do rich bastard, for making her worry so much like that.

With a gentle hand she took hold of his wrist, the steady beat pulsing under her. Kyouya, always the stable rock was so weak here, so lost, it was mind-blowing. He had so much to hide from the world, so much even he could probably not understand. A part of her wished to be with him through these troubles, but another wished, bleakly, that things would go back to the way they came. She couldn't help it, but almost hope he would go back to normal, all of this forgotten like he seemed to have years back. Just anything to have Kyouya return, to give that annoying smirk of his she always wanted to slap off his face. Lower lip trembling she brought her brow to his left side, next to his arm. He was lying on the right, so she saw no harm in trying to get to Kyouya, trying to snap him out of all this. In his shirt, warm from his own heat, she mumbled out her wish.

"Kyouya-sempai, wake up, I want to help you…I want to be there with you while you're fighting through these shadows of your past." Wondering when she had gotten so metaphorical she shrugged it off, face burrowed in the crook of his side that huddled position of his had formed. "Wake up Sempai, for me, please?"

______________________________________

_Time just rushed by, it seemed that now a few months had passed once again, it was May. Early May, and a day that the young boy would try to block so desperately. _

_His glasses, fairly large on his face always seemed to be slipping down the bridge of his nose. He found while wearing these things he couldn't run as he wished, always having to stop and use his finger to push them up another couple of inches. A habit that formed early and would be hard to break later in life for him. So up the glasses went, he always careful that they glared. No one could see his eyes, just like his mother said._

_Kyouya bounded off to the sitting room, once again on his mother's demand. Things have remained more or less the same for the boy, she still punishing him often for his careless mistakes and slip of the tongue. He should know better, he should take more care of being a good son. But yet, something was different between the two now, for Kyouya in general. After the event he still couldn't remember quite well, with his eyes, Kyouya had locked off. He found it so much easier to just whole himself up in his room, away from everyone's pondering glances and advances. Who knew when he would make a mistake, accidently smile too much or say something that just sets his own mother off._

_Kyouya was just locking himself away. He found it easier, much more so to show these adults he really was fine, he was mature and self-reliant, much more so for his age. Hide the scars, avoid their questions with a smile, and occupy yourself with much more important matters. It was a method Kyouya found to be the most successful, in pleasing his mother. For her word was everything, she made him who he was. They shared a bond, he would later come to realize. One that even he couldn't explain, one that simply rubbing his arms or eyes would bring forth a whirlwind of emotions, of hate and love. So much, and he couldn't make sense of it. _

_Already, at such a young age Kyouya was beginning to find that emotions, feelings really in general were the way for the weak. Better to not dwell on what his mother does. Smile, smile with a grin that was fake, and act cordially to all. And try not to get his mother mad. Slowly his innocence was being sapped away, and no one felt this as a great a tragedy as Itsuki._

_She kept on following Ohtori-sama's order, not approaching the boy since that fateful afternoon months back. But still, festering inside her, something was not right. The servants weren't to bother help dressing and undressing him anymore, he was to bathe on his own. Everyone just took this in stride, the favored child just being taught by his mother that he was to grow up, and learn self-reliance. But to Itsuki, it was just a further reason why she was too be worried. She took note of Kyouya's actions, how he would jump if you patted his shoulder or ruffled his hair without warning. How he always covered his arms now, how his glasses always hid his eyes. Those eyes that once upon a time were bright and eager. The rare instances she would catch a glance of him, in family portraits hung up around the house she would stop and stare. Try to see where this boy, when and why, what exactly happened. _

_Where was her little Ohtori-chama?_

_She feared it, didn't want to say it, but this lady, Ohtori-sama, she was bad for the boy. She was doing something to Kyouya; something she feared was turning him into this empty shell of a boy. The others, they didn't take notice. Just accepted him as finally becoming the clone of his elders they always assumed he would be. But no, this was Kyouya. He was to be happy, the go-lucky child who would always brighten your face with a wide smile and happy eyes. Not this clenched grin and opaque glasses. _

_With a shuddering breath she reached the sitting room, the infamous room that Kyouya near always spent his time in. The door she opened, stepping in to see Ohtori-sama on her spot by the window seat, her brown eyes fluttering up in surprise at Itsuki, not Kyouya coming in._

_She rose, her white summer dress rustling. "Itsuki, who gave you permission to come here?" Her voice was tense, but still with an air of politeness often given to the servants. She was an Ohtori after all. But Itsuki, she was done with these lies. She stepped forward, not bothering to close the door, arms crossed. "I find it in my right since your are harming Ohtori-chama, and I'm here to tell you what plan of action I will take." Kyouya's memories, they only knew of this since he was trailing behind Itsuki, not alerting him that he was there, but not running off either. Why was she coming there, to his mother? She would get hurt, she would have to leave._

_Anxiously, Kyouya ran the rest of the way, stopping only to press his back against the hallway wall, listening in on the conversation. His glasses were slipping down but he didn't bother to turn them up. His ears were at attention, truthfully scared to see what his mother would do to Itsuki, and what she would do to him as a result. That thought alone was enough to have his blood stop cold, and it took all he could to not run off and seek sanctuary in some other part of the house. But he wanted to hear. _

_So footsteps echoed through the open door, coming closer to where he guessed Itsuki was standing, in the middle of the room. "Close the door Itsuki and let's discuss this as reasonable adults. Not Mistress to Servant, as equals." "No. No Ohtori-sama. I would find it a disgrace to be equal to someone like, like. Like you." Kyouya gasped put, quickly slapping his own hands over his mouth, eyes wide and non-believing. Did Itsuki just speak that way to his mother? If he did such a thing, surely that would mean two needles at the same time, and not one. _

_She gave a nervous laugh, the footsteps coming closer. "I'll forget you said that, and more importantly want to know why the sudden hostility." "What have you done to Ohtori-chama?" "Whatever could you mean?" _

_More voices, but they were lowered and muffled. Kyouya crept in closer, at the door edge now. _

_"Are, are you suggesting I'm harming my own child Itsuki?" Her voice was feigning hurt; even Itsuki and Kyouya like could realize that. Kyouya, over these past few months had become much better at listening to a tone in voice, at looking at someone's face. It seemed his mother had taught him without realizing how to read a person's face much more than his other siblings. He almost always knew when you would be lying, such as what his mother was doing now. But he didn't say anything, he couldn't. He could never do that, for she still was his mother._

_Itsuki gave a short bark, one of disbelief. "I don't think, I know. I've seen the marks." He stiffened against the wall, hands traveling to his right arm, squeezing it in his grasp. Surely he had been careful. And he took care to make sure he was never near her again after his greatest punishment. What would his mother do now? He bit his lower lip, trembling. This conversation was not going to end well, for him or Itsuki._

_The footsteps, they grew louder, before a shriek, a sudden shriek was heard, and the slap of skin Kyouya knew so well, the thud of a body hitting the floor. He held in his tears, trying to imagine it was him, lowly him and not Itsuki getting punished now. He deserved it, she didn't._

_"Insolent girl, you dare talk to me that way. I have such a mind to kick you out of here." Kyouya could picture quite easily the stance his mother was taking, arms crossed coolly, eyes dark and fearsome. Itsuki was backing up, trying to stand up before another slap was heard, another thud. Kyouya shut his eyes, sliding down to the floor, hands over his ear now. It was him, he was getting slapped. Not Itsuki, she was good. He was bad._

_"Don't even think about yelling for help. The minute someone else's attention is caught, I will make sure that you, and Kyouya regrets it." Kyouya couldn't hear this, too busy shutting out the moment, but Itsuki heard clearly, head lowering, eyes downcast. This was going all wrong. Now because of her stupidity in approaching the matter Kyouya would suffer. Oh why didn't she think of going to the master of the house, or Fuyumi-sama? _

_Another slap echoed in the room, bringing her face up to Ohtori-sama's. "Having servants too nosy are a dangerous thing, don't you agree?" Then, she straightened up, backing to the door, swinging it open fully. Kyouya jumped forward as the door flung open, falling out to a mass on the hall floor. Sheepishly he turned his head, glasses balancing precariously on the tip of his nose._

_"Get in." _

_Scrambling he crawled in, yelping out only when she shut the door before he could get his ankle though. Itsuki called out as she saw him twist in pain, the mother just kicking the boy to the middle, then resumed to closing the door. "Shut up Kyouya, you are in trouble."_

_His huddled form went still, and he stared blankly at Itsuki, blotting out the intense throbbing his small ankle had. To his left was the tea table, equipped with the steaming pot and needle. Kyouya now, more than he ever had, was scared for himself, was fearing his life and Itsuki's in the hands of his mother. _

_All Itsuki was fearing now was the boy, his ankle twisted awkwardly backwards. Had the mother just sprained or even broken her own son's ankle, and not even showing remorse? Ohtori-sama, was she really that…psycho? Taking advantage of her distance Itsuki got up, cheeks red and burning. She made her way to Kyouya, careful to avoid the mother directly. Kneeling down she looked at Kyouya. He shook his head furiously, trying to inch his way away from the tea table and maid. _

_With this Rerura smiled, her lessons finally getting through to the boy. "Well would you look at that? It seems Kyouya doesn't want help. You were wrong." "NO!" Itsuki surprised herself and the young boy, her voice raised. You never raised your voice to Ohtori-sama. She found this funny, mouth curling into the malicious grin Kyouya knew so well. _

_"Really now? Surely you care about my son more than that. You do know whatever you do now, I will inflict on him tenfold when you leave." She glanced down at the boy, who was unresponsive and just lying on the floor. "You already are going to have to deal with more the usual I'm afraid." His hitched breath made her chuckle, as she walked around to Itsuki, next to the tea cart. Hand out she fingered the needle, before raising it to her line of vision in front of her._

_"You see Itsuki, I have a way of making my YoYo-chan so well behaved." Itsuki glanced down fearfully at Kyouya, who just grabbed his arm, trying to sink into the carpet. Filled with this rage, so maternal in nature, she spun up and around, now standing, staring directly at Ohtori-sama. "You take one step towards this boy I will scream. " "Try. I think YoYo-chan here has yelled a lot. It never did you good did it?" Wordlessly he shook his head. _

_Itsuki took this moment to have her spontaneous nature get the best of her, and with a yell she flung herself at Ohtori-sama. With a gasp she stumbled back, the needle still in her grasp, as she fell onto the window seat. Itsuki was on top of her, struggling to get off and reach for the tea pot. "Well, you surely put up more of a fight than my boy." With a swift kick she brought her slippered feet to Itsuki's middle, who collapsed into the cart quite noisily. The tea pot, heavy in nature, clunked on the maid's head, it's top open and contents spilling all over the girl. She yelled out, so high and ear-splitting in nature Kyouya found it in him to call out with her, to call out against his mother._

_"STOP! Mama, PLEASE!" Rerura's attention left the girl who was suffering from the same burns Kyouya often went though as of late, her red skin and shut, tearing eyes, not of any importance. But this boy, he dared yell out? Walking past her flailing limbs his mother swiftly reached down for Kyouya's tucked arm, harshly ramming his ankle against the carpet in result. He cried out, tears springing also from his eyes, his eyes which so recently had been near blinded himself. _

_Still, he didn't call out, didn't try to apologize. He was fighting back, he was trying to escape her grasp. For Itsuki, he wouldn't let what he did go in vain. With her here, he felt slightly safer, he felt as if maybe his mother would stop now, if he won. So he yelled back just as loud, his ankle feeling like it was splitting in two. _

_"LET GO! Let go Mama. STOP!" Her eyes narrowed, the needle still in her grasp brought out. Without even a warning or preparation she plunged it into Kyouya's wrist, at the very placement of his veins. Out and in she slammed it, the blood pouring out freely as it stained red his sleeve, which she didn't bother to roll up. Then she started digging into his flesh, the needle making its way in and out of the fabric, and into the deep muscles, the tender area of his arm. It took him but seconds to realize what she was planning to do, as gruesome as it was. She was sewing his sleeve to his arm, the cloth embedding in the scarred arm of the five year old. The blood, was so much. Behind his glasses he couldn't scream, just stared dumb-founded at what she was doing. It kept coming, and he already felt his head start to throb._

_His vision, even behind his glasses, was beginning to grow blurry, head hazy. It seemed she hit a major vein of some kind, as the needle worked its way up to his elbow. But he then found himself yanked forward, as the needle forcefully left his skin, chipping away some deep tissue as a result. His glasses were flung to the side, he fell crumpled to the floor as his mother was pulled of him, by a burned and red Itsuki. She was gritting her teeth, arms raw as the two women stumbled to the window. _

_In between her screams filled with pain, Itsuki found it in her to yell out to Kyouya. "R-Run. Now. GO!" But no, Kyouya couldn't. His teeth clenched as well, a shaking hand grabbing the needle still dangling by the thread. A thread of both cloth and skin. With shut eyes he pulled it away, the stitches ripping open the already stressed skin. The blood, so much and so red, it only pulled it out further. His arm, it was as if the skin was peeled away on both sides, so only the pink and raw muscle tissue was staring back at him, the skin flaps swaying slightly. _

_It was too much for him, and very quickly Kyouya bowed his head, vomiting on the carpet next to him. It was just too much. In such a short time he hit the end of his rope, all because of Itsuki. Here she was trying to save him, and he acted out, allowed this to happen to him and her. He truly was someone not deserving of this life, as his mother yelled often. _

_His face he planted next to the ruined carpet, holding back the bile making its way up his throat for a second time. He didn't dare look at the scuffle behind him, knowing full well how it was to end. _

_Itsuki had somehow lost control, her weakened state and run off adrenaline slowly making its effect on her. Rerura took this exact moment to latch onto the maid's arms, nails digging in to the singed skin. Itsuki screamed out, head banging against the second story window. The mansion was immense, this only being one of the lower floors in the about six story mansion. Rerura grinned, finally finding a way to rid herself of this troublesome maid. But Kyouya's lack of screams she feared, tilting her head to the boy. _

_Her grip on Itsuki tightened, as he lied there, blood staining his shirt and crumpled body, and the carpet around him. He was barely breathing it seemed, it was almost as if she killed him. But has she?_

_Rerura, she knew this couldn't happen. If he died, it was something al altogether. She would have murdered her favorite child. His lack of response as Itsuki yelled on, it only furthered her belief, and lost in the frenzy that was her she picked up the girl to her feet, pushing her with all her might against the window. Glass shattered as Itsuki made her way out, her hands grabbing the dress of Ohtori-sama and ripping away pieces. Rerura too feel out, knowing very well she was not going to be the one to die here. Guards at the far edges of the grounds heard the shatter and were making their way up, so she knew she only had a few moments. As they hit the ground, this seeming like an eternity to her, she head the snap of Itsuki's neck as her head connected with the cemented ground, saw the blood beginning to leak out of her bashed head. The girl never even screamed out, the mother noted, before she too collapsed over her._

_Kyouya, he took it upon himself to whip his aching head to the sound of crashing glass. Eyes frozen as the wavy image of the two flew out. He heard the yell of the guards, he heard the thuds. Were they dead? Was he going to die? If his arm had anything to say about this then yes. So down his head went, face mixed in the solution of blood and bile he had formed. Exhausted, he found himself going light, the pain there, but him not feeling it. It was as if he flew out of his own small body, looking at disgust at his own crumpled and broken appearance. What had just happened? He didn't know._

_Truthfully, Kyouya didn't. For such a young age, his mind went to work hiding these memories. Itsuki and his mother were dead, he was going too. So this was where love had gotten him? Not worth it in his opinion. So his mind, still so young, locked this away, knocked him unconscious by the time the servants, frantic at the noises arrived. He didn't know anything else, but surely he was saved._

_For he woke up in a hospital bed, arm bandaged, told it was a few days later and asked if he remembered anything. It he remembered what? That was what he said. He knew the scars, knew Itsuki and his mother were dead, at least that was what they asked him. But where did the scars come from, how did they die? He didn't know. Truthfully he didn't. Kyouya had succeeded in repressing the traumas of his youth, left to be locked away until 11 years later._

_**Kyouya-sempai. **__Now he was thinking of her? Where did Haruhi fit into all of this…__**Wake up. **__But he already had. He was in the hospital bed, the doctors huddled around his bedside. His father in the corner of the room, telling his sibling the death of their mother. He heard as they were told Itsuki did this to him, before jumping out the window, bringing their mother with her. A murder-suicide. That was what the papers said. But that wasn't right, was it? __**Please, just wake up, for me?**_

**_____________________________**

Fuyumi jumped back, as soon as her brother stirred. He bowed his head away from her touch, his side trying to sink into itself as Haruhi's presence was known. Feeling slowly went throughout his body. Eyes opened bleakly all he could see was a blur. A green blur, which he was guessing was someone wearing green. Night had fallen, so his vision was worse than usual. Someone had removed his glasses.

"K-Kyou-chan?" That voice, it wasn't Haruhi. "Onii-san." "Yes!" She rushed forward, forgetting her shock minutes before and hugging him to her chest. "Thank goodness you got out of this sooner than I hoped." He winced, trying to twist out of this hug. "Where's Haruhi?" His voice was no more than a whisper, before a shaky hand found its way to his shoulder, Haruhi stepped back and also grinning. "I'm here S-Sempai. Are you, you?"

A question for the ages, was he really him? What had just happened, and why? He relived those memoires, memories he took so much care to lock away, and for what? He just relived everything, felt the pain again. He brought both his arms up, crossed across his chest as Fuyumi refused to release him. Was there a reason why he remembered? His mother, was dead. Why did he go through all that again?

Pausing, he waited for some inner voice to call out the answer, but it never came. His inner voice, his mind, that part was gone? Did this, however long he was sleeping, did it cure him of that useless sub-conscious?

"F-Fuyumi, please stop." She dropped her arms, face in a pout. "My, my my. Kyou-chan you are unconscious for about two days and you still have that mean voice." Two days, had it really been that long? Kyouya, still disoriented, felt odd without that inner Kyouya of his bickering, having anything to say about the matter. Perhaps he should be glad, it was what he wished really.

Haruhi, he felt her hand, and then felt that jolt. Her touch flipped his empty stomach over, and he was never so thankful for feeling weird in his life. He wasn't scared anymore, no more of that useless little-boy act that ran through him before at the park. She had returned to being Haruhi, the girl whose presence ultimately unnerves him and distorts all his emotions. Never was he so happy to see such a girl.

So he backed against the bed, reaching out with both hands to grasp her one, holding it out in front of him. Perhaps he was still stuck in this state of confusing shock, and later he would blame it all on the stress, but with a shaky grin, his mouth turned up a few centimeters for occasion, he squinted, trying to find her in the mass of dark shadow in the room. As it knowing what he wanted Haruhi grinned back, reaching with her free hand for his glasses, and helped him put them on.

The world, finally being so clear once again, he felt comfort in this fact, fully refreshed and able to get his mind back on track. No nagging, all fear had left him, his mind only his once again, what had they done to him? Was all this just temporary, or really had just going through all that, it helped him? If it was to be like that, perhaps it would have made sense to come to terms long ago.

So he looked up to Haruhi, taking care to not glare his eyes behind the lenses. Grey met brown once more, in an entirely different circumstance than it did so in his childhood.

"Haruhi, you stayed here all this time?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Haruhi took a few steps back, arm pulling from his grasp. Was he really that shocked someone would care for him?

"Because you're a friend Sempai, and that is exactly what a friend does. Stay with you during a time of need. You should only be thankful I didn't call Tamaki-sempai or the rest of the host club."

He flinched. That surely would not have ended well. "Very well then Haruhi, I thank you for doing so. And it has come to my attention, well during my lapse of consciousness you can see I relived through the ordeals you so pointedly wanted me to go through. And I can say it worked, I'm cured and no more mention of this has to be had again." Because he knew, a small part of him knew, that further discussion would rile up bad feelings again.

Even with all this, Kyouya knew Haruhi wouldn't let up. She still saw, and he had to realize that answers were expected to be given. A part of him couldn't help but fear that. Why would he have to talk about what he just saw? It hurt enough to go through all that, and remember slightly more, but to talk about it, that never helped. Talking things up, saying it would heal them when in reality it would only make you cry or feel worse about yourself. Where was the healing in that?

"You know I won't take that for a minute Sempai." "Yes, I do." Fuyumi gave herself leave, taking care of plans to send them back to Tokyo. In secret preferably, so their father wouldn't catch wind of this. If he knew, it would make things worse than they already were. For Kyouya's sake she couldn't.

Nodding he pulled his arms back, leaning against the pillows. What he really wanted to do right now was sleep. A deep, wondrous, dreamless sleep. So using this to further bug the brown-haired girl he sunk into the pillows, and rolled onto his side.

"Well, I suppose we will talk about everything after I get some sleep yes?" It was hopeless, this guy was the Shadow King once again. Hopefully not as closed off, but already old Kyouya was returning. But so quickly, and so soon? Haruhi feared that he was just reacting from the temporary pleasures of a settled mind. Yes things would turn out quite normally, for days, weeks, even months. But until he told her everything, and emptied it out, he would never be at peace. It was like Fuyumi said. Only a matter of time before he loses himself again.

"Kyouya-sempai I'll let you sleep, but answer me this, please." She got a grunt in return, and chose to proceed. Sitting back in her chair she stared straight ahead, somewhat already sure of his answer.

"Those marks, on your arm, you didn't do that to yourself right?"

He was fully prepared to rebut her after she started the question, but the end threw him off. Did she really think that. He was self-inflicting like that? If his past told him anything, it was to never do anything like…that to himself. Ever. But then his mind, ever-thinking, produced an answer. She knew he wouldn't answer if she asked straight out. So, looking out for him in that common, friendly way of hers, it was as if she already knew the answer. So looking down, his arm and wrist pale in the moon light, he shook his head, glance never leaving his arm. He was thankful for this girl really. One who knew him so well, what more could you ask for in someone?

"No, I didn't." "Oh. That's what I thought." It was as if a silent understanding went between the two, as Kyouya stayed awake a bit longer, not realizing Haruhi already thought him asleep. As she got up, her footsteps echoing out to find Fuyumi most likely, he frowned to the darkness. She left so quickly, was she disappointed in his answer? She asked a question, gave her a truthful reply. Yet a part of him wondered if that could have been attempted differently.

He made a note to ask his sister later if girls really meant the opposite of what they say. It would solve a lot of his problems. And many more it would as well, in the future.

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**Finally! Thank goodness I'm done. Took me long enough I know. And to let you all know, I hated writing this. I know I could have handled him waking up better, but I was as impatient as always to just have him up and to a state of normalcy. Don't think I'm brushing all these memories and such aside. The story may take a lighter turn now, since it is an Ouran fanfic after all, but down the road, these troubles and demons of his past will come back. In a way I'm sure none of you will expect. Muahaha. Awesome isn't it? Oh, and to clear up any confusion, it's now Sunday night in the fanfic. Kyouya was out for a while wasn't he? So if I have no objections, and please tell me so in your reviews, would you mind if I took a change in pace. Make this story seemingly more focused on the Host Club these next few chaps? So I can build up for yet another installment of Kyouya misery? XD Oh yes, before I forget. PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL UP ON MY PROFILE!! It's vital for the story, I'm telling you all. And if none of the choices fit you think, and please take the time to listen to them all, please pm or in your review give me your own suggestion, and I will take it into consideration. Mmk? Cool ^^**

**~ja ne**


	8. Roles

_After you escape the temporary abyss your mind has become, it's high time for some happiness yes? So off you go, back to a world you know so well. A place where banana peels randomly pop up on the floor and where it's perfectly normal that doors you never knew existed show up on the walls. But within this place of comfort and familiarity changes still do take place, and often the preparation for this unnerve you more than the actual event. When the club you've worked so hard on is to just simply break up in the next year, it's only natural you will make the best of what you have. Even if that means torture of ridicule somewhere down the line…_

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And many more it would as well, in the future.

"This is an emergency, AN EMRGENCY I SAY!" And off the blonde leader went, running throughout the Third Music Room with speed everyone didn't think was possible. It was currently Monday afternoon, school having just gotten out and five hosts waiting for the arrival of two very suspicious people, people who have been MIA for the whole weekend. Tamaki thought no more of the incriminating circumstance he found his Daughter and Mother in, the same for Mori and Huni. Secretly Huni was pleased that Kyouya was able to get a little happier. They were good for each other, and as he often confided to Mori, Kyouya was the one who needed her words most of all. Or at least it seemed that way, since Kyouya always seemed to have that "droopy frown over his face", according to the blonde senior.

The twins on the other hand, hadn't fully recovered. At least on Hikaru's end. Karou just had sat by his brother's side all weekend, locked up in their room. He figured he just saved them all from the destruction of the free world, the way Hikaru had been ranting these past few days. But now, he seemed to have calmed down, a bit. Now he was only mumbling under his breath how he would crush every bone in that "perverted demon lord." Karou, sitting at a table for once, opposite his brother, just sighed, his chin on his hand. Hopefully Kyouya would have more tact.

And Tamaki was just scared for their safety. According to him Kyouya's cell no longer worked, or at least it wasn't the right number. It seemed every time he called a now thoroughly incensed elderly woman who only went by the name of KeiKei would threaten to track him down and pull every hair out of his pretty-boy head. Most would take that as a Tamaki just getting a wrong number or Kyouya maybe even changing his cell, but of course the King wouldn't hear it. They must surely have been taken prisoner in a senior citizen home, so it was their duty to vanquish said elderly foes and the torment they caused!

No one really had the heart to tell the guy Kyouya probably just switched his number for that exact reason.

But still, the twins hadn't caught any sign of Haruhi all day. Which only unnerved Hikaru more, along with Karou. And Tamaki hadn't seen Kyouya at all during class, or lunch. And considering Kyouya's perfect attendance record, with Haruhi's, it just didn't add up.

So here they stood now, a few minutes after school had just let out. There was only one full week of hosting left before the senior's graduation next Friday, so the Host Club was to make the most of this, according to the blonde leader. But the absence of his two precious family members, it couldn't go on!

Which is why Tamaki was running around the room, in a very similar manner to Friday's rant.

"MY DAUGHTER…HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!" Karou sunk his face lower into the desk, shaking his head. "Tono, I'm sure they're alright." Huni piped up from his own table across the room. "Yes Tama-chan. Kyo-chan is responsible, I'm sure he is taking excellent care of Haru-chan." Mori stood by, nodding. "Ah."

Huni's attempt at comfort froze the teen in his tracks, right in the middle of the room. He turned around, face contorted in fright. "T-Taking care of H-Haruhi…" Even Hikaru broke his silence. "Oh boy…here we go…" Karou nodded, face still on the table.

Tamaki Inner Mind Theatre:

_"M-Mother…Haruhi wants to go home." There blinked the brown doe eyes of his daughter, handcuffed to the wall of a dark room. In front of her a looming shadow presence came forward. The glint of his glasses were the only light in the room, his mouth curled into a leer. "Oh no Daughter, Mother has to take care of you. Much more than Father could possibly do." _

_Haruhi cowered, kneeling on the floor in the corner, watching as the shadowed figure came closer. "B-But why must Mother handcuff poor Haruhi?" Her lower lip quivered, as Kyouya stepped forward. "I must take care of you, so that means you have to be near me, at ALL times." "B-But all the time?! That's indecent! Y-You're making Haruhi embarrassed…" The chains jingled as she tilted her head, trying to hide the faint red blush._

_Kyouya kneeled down, a lone finger tipping her chin up to him. "I am you mother after all. And as your mother…I think you need a bath yes?" Kyouya's voice was deep now, almost husky. Haruhi squeaked, her figure trembling. "M-Mother…?" Kyouya stretched out his arms, encompassing her tiny frame, dressed in rags now. "I think I should help you bathe…Or at least watch you." "W-What? Don-t do that to p-poor Haruhi!" She thrashed under his grip, biting her lower lip. _

_"Shush, it will please me.""M-Mother…D-Don't. Not there…" _

_Shadows engulfed the room convientely at this moment._

Karou, eyes still on the table below, merely held up a hand, fingers counting down as Hikaru counted off, bored.

"Five, four, there, two one…"

"THAT FIEND!!!" He rushed forward towards the door all the ready to track down the villainous excuse for a maternal guardian. "I will MAKE SURE that no one gives him any Mother's Day cards!" Huni eagerly gulped down the cake Mori had brought him, the tallest Host just choosing to ignore this all as well. The twins, feeling slightly lighter of heart at Tamaki's misery both stood up and left the table, arms around each other's shoulders, eyebrows raised. "No cards?" "That's the best you can come up with…?" They looked at each other, then back to his rushing figure. "Umm...Tono?"

At that precise moment the door swung open, Tamaki once again finding himself flattened against him. The crack was heard by all, and they looked on, hiding laughter as the blonde spun around the room before finding himself at the feet of their two missing comrades.

"K-Kyouya! Haruhi! You're back and no evil grandma's forced you…to eat…commoner…cabbage…" He slipped into incoherent mumblings, seeming to have hit the door harder than before. Haruhi stepped in, shutting the door and taking care to avoid stepping on Tamaki. Kyouya just strode forward, accidently it seemed kicking the king in the stomach before proceeding. As Tamaki "oophed" out in pain, Kyouya slid his glasses lower, glare hiding the faintest trace of a smile in his eyes. Not like he planned slamming Tamaki with a door and stepping on him. Of course he wouldn't plan that.

Haruhi's entrance brightened the room considerably, the twins all but running to her small frame. "Haruhi!" They both called out, encasing arms within theirs and leading her away from the Demon Lord. "We missed you soooooooo much. What did the scary man do?" Hikaru flashed Kyouya a glare before lowering his head to whisper in her ear. "Did he do anything we have to kill him for?" Karou took her other ear. "Do you still have your…honor?"

Since the twins were whispering and couldn't be heard, the rest of the club was puzzled when out of nowhere the twins were whipped away, Haruhi using her arms to throw them down on the floor, face red it seemed.

"Shut up with your stupid perverted minds you twins!! Like I would even want to dignify that…not even a QUESTION with an ANSWER. Do you know how often I'm sick of you guys and your actions, but when you start talking about…something like THAT…no shame! And I expected more from you Karou…"

Tamaki twitched; only reacting to Haruhi's raised voice from his vantage point on the floor. Huni and Mori chose to remain oblivious, so it seemed only Kyouya found joy in this. Finding an empty table on his way to the trio he placed his bag and laptop, pushing his glasses up before taking the still ranting girl from the shoulder, pushing her back from the cowering twins.

"Ah Haruhi. As much as you feel the need to…shout incoherently, I'm afraid we're already behind schedule as it is." Of course the Shadow King would twist things so she was at fault. Perhaps another bad habit developed from always increasing her debt. "Sempai, I don't see how I'm the one-"

"It's fine." Karou got up, pulling his brother up. "We're just glad to see you're here. Sorry Haruhi." Hikaru looked away, muttered a "Sorry" as well before following his brother off to Tamaki. "Ah. Oh. Okay then." This had taken her by surprise, wondering why Karou seemed to back off so easily. Normally the twins took pleasure whenever she was scolded by Kyouya, never cutting it short. What had changed?

Almost instantly Kyouya dropped his hand, making way towards his own table, laptop set up already. They were a few days behind in host club affairs, and he planned to have them fully caught up by the end of today. Filling his mind by work, that was something he just had to do again. Get back in the gist of numbers and business with a clear head. It was what he had been wishing these past few nightmares of weeks.

Haruhi her shoulder feeling colder with the absence of a hand sighed, walking forward following the twins. Tamaki was still on the ground, so she kneeled down, hand going out to poke his back. "Umm...Sempai?" A 'pokepoke' noise settled into the room, offset only by the clacking of Kyouya's keyboard. "Sempai, I'm okay. We both are. And…" She sighed; knowing to revive him was going to take a lot of willpower. So the next phrase she muttered through clenched teeth.

"And I really want to hear what you have to say." It seemed those words were enough to coat her throat with a heavy feeling of discontent.

A light seemed too had flickered on, for at once the host club king bounded up on his feet, Haruhi now finding herself glomped. A vein of hers twitched, trying to shrug herself off from the over-excited teen. "T-Tamaki-sempai, I c-can't breathe."

"Oh my precious DAUGHTER! You came back! And haven't been corrupted by the evil poison gas scary Mother unleashes!" Kyouya stopped momentarily, shooting the blonde a look before typing again. Not paying any attention in the slightest of how close Tamaki was pressing the commoner girl to him. Completely oblivious to how she was struggling to escape. Until Tamaki's grip went to her arm as he spun her around the room, sputtering out more nonsense. Then he couldn't help but pay attention, which was what he told his denying self. When she squeaked out, Tamaki's grip on her arm probably too tight he cleared his throat, stare sent directly the blonde's way.

"Tamaki, your idea?" Everyone was opposite Kyouya, so luckily his hands clenched tightly on the keyboard were unnoticed. He kept his voice calm, but some want to pull the girl away as Tamaki was, not hurting her no. It wasn't on purpose, he knew that. But still, seeing her squeak out for anything other than innocent surprise, he found it was increasingly harder to tolerate. He died down the absurd notion it was because of her arm in pain that he was acting so forward. Of course the fact it was her arm had nothing to do with this. Or perhaps those memories were going to prove more bothersome than he thought, in regards to the girl.

Whatever the reason Tamaki died down, not wanting to provoke his wrath only minutes after arriving. Instead, he chose to act responsible for once, the air of uneasiment he felt around his best friend one Friday still present, slightly. He stepped back, arm dramatically turned to the sky before launched down, pointing to the cousins. "Mori-sempai, Huni-sempai, your day of exit is upon us!"

Recovered from her dizzy spell Haruhi walked backed towards the sitting Kyouya, arms crossed and brow raised. "He doesn't have to make it seem like they're dying or something." Kyouya, his fingers stopping momentarily from their typing lifted his head, eyes focused on the prancing blonde. "Well, that's Tamaki for you. Can you really see him tackling this matter of them leaving any other way? I'm just burdened by the effect their loss will have on profit." Down his head went, engrossing himself in the numbers. "Mori-sempai might not attract the most, but Huni-sempai, he holds his own on a reasonable margin. We might have to search for a new Lolita type, or possibly a new host category altogether. Something to keep our income up."

Tamaki's ramblings went unnoticed by Haruhi as well now, her attention focused on the boy next to her. "Kyouya-sempai…why are you doing that again?" He gave her a sideways glance behind his glasses, before returning to the screen once more. "Doing what Haruhi?" "That, acting…like nothing changed." He stopped, a hand rising to tilt his glasses back up. A nervous tick she figured he developed somewhere down the line of his childhood.

Tamaki, totally ignorant of the fact the Kyouya and Haruhi weren't paying attention anymore barreled on. "So you see, to commemorate your time here, I deem a new theme! One we as the Host Club have never done so before!" He walked around, swaying with that confident swagger often present when he was so sure of an idea. Even when that idea seemed the worst proposition ever. So the twins and cousins listened by, wary of their leader's words. "Um. Tama-chan, what theme is that?" "Haha! You want me to say it that easily? With no fight? I need to introduce it first!" Worried glances were cast all around. Tamaki needing to prepare them for it, that would not end well.

Kyouya and Haruhi also spoke in hushed tones, not aware of the change of tone in the room. "Well, I suppose I act this way because nothing indeed has changed." "Kyo-" "And I mean that in regards to my attitude here." He lowered his head, eyes visible only for her through the lenses. It took her all to not lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. Such an action though, would not be looked upon with happy hearts for the rest of the host club. If the finding them both outside that mall Saturday proved anything. And she still was at a loss of why they acted that way.

"You see, for one year now our customers have gotten used to us, our individual personalities and types. And with some training taught by moi, you all have become fairly developed hosts." It seemed to have started normal enough. Perhaps Tamaki had some sense in him left.

Haruhi instead gave him a smile, trying to outweigh the, turbulence really still in Kyouya's eyes. So his remembering whatever he did, it wasn't enough. And Kyouya realized that. But of course he felt he had to act like the standard emotionless rock, act like the money-obsessed Shadow King. They hadn't been able to achieve that deep a conversation when they left Sendai in the morning, and getting her after lunch, they didn't even share spend the time talking. Kyouya just rushed off, to the library or some other room. Haruhi went back to class, classes luckily without the twins. But now, perhaps his hesitance to speak, was it out of fear everything would start over again? As if to commend her thoughts, the corner of her brow, now nothing more than the faintest trace of pink tingled. They hadn't spoken any more about the punch or moments leading to it, Haruhi left just as confused as ever about the boy's past.

"So as a final test, your final exam my beloved seniors, and all of my other fellow hosts, is this. I propose a theme , a theme never before attempted. It will twist the very scenes of our host club standards. We will perform the impossible, with one goal in mind!" Tamaki was in the middle of the room, hands on his hips. It was as if one could see the lightning bolts labeled "confident" and "sure of himself" striking behind. Well, the hosts paying attention did, and couldn't help but let loose a blank stare, everyone including Mori letting loose a sweat drop. He never took things in small amounts did he Tamaki?

"Haruhi…I understand everything that happened this past weekend, and come to the realization it will not be easy for me to function exactly as I wish. But for her, I need to put all matters aside. They expect to see the untroubled Kyouya Ohtori, so be it." "That's dangerous. Look where your thinking got you last time!" She hissed this out, not noticing how forward she was until Kyouya turned in his seat, his gaze focused on her. His eyes were still visible, and while she covered her mouth, mumbling sorry, she was surprised to find Kyouya shake his head, slightly. His hand went up towards her, which was where her own breath hitched behind her mouth. Then, as if remembering where he was he stopped, hand dropping back to his side only centimeters from Haruhi's face. He regained his composure, smirk plastered on again. "Who said I would bottle it up all inside this time? My word was true Haruhi, in that I would find a way. To disclose everything, as you seem to want me to do so much." "You don't mean that all the way do you?" "Precisely."

"So my friends, I propose, MY THEME!" With a snap of his fingers a motor began whirring underground, and seconds later Renge spun from her lair under the Third Music Room, a fairly large box in tow."

"OHHOHOHOOHHOHHO!"

Her laugh alone unnerved them all, everyone minus Kyouya and Haruhi gathered around Huni's table. "T-Tono, what is going on?" The twins eyed that box warily, as Renge hopped down presenting it with a flourish to the seniors. "Upon command of the Host Club, I, Renge as Host Club Manager, present the ultimate theme of this last week of hosting, with the original Host Types!" Tamaki pranced next to her, scooping up the box and slamming it down on the small tea table, narrowly avoiding the cakes. Huni squealed out, pushing the plates to his lap.

Haruhi sighed, seeing she still would have to find a way to get to Kyouya alone. He obviously was as evasive as ever in public. So, stepping away she only just now took notice of the ruckus being caused. Kyouya spoke her thoughts from behind. "Tamaki, what are you plotting?"

He spun, knocking the table and proceeding to almost drop a fairly large slice of cake upon a plate. Huni rescued this as well, before turning to Tamaki with the look of a beast. No one messed with cakes. Unfortunately Tamaki had his back to the smallest host, making his way arms wide to Haruhi as Renge spiraled back into the ground.

Haruhi stepped to the side away from Tamaki, still not used to the random moments of Renge. Did no one else in the school hear this motor? It was a question for the times, most definably. "Daughter!" He ran up to hug her once more before Haruhi deftly turned to eh left, and proceeded making her way to the suspicious box on the table. Without waiting for permission she opened it, turning the flaps to the side.

At its contents revealed everyone turned in, even Mori craning his neck to see. And it was the tallest senior who uttered the obvious thought on everyone's minds.

"Wigs."

Tamaki, recovered from his corner of woe as Haruhi rejected him skipped back, reaching in and grabbing a brown haired piece that was familiar to all. Kyouya looked up, brow furrowed upon the sight. Even he wasn't sure what the idiot had pulled together, due to his, status this past weekend. And by the looks of it Kyouya was almost thankful.

Haruhi snatched the wig from Tamaki's hands, inspecting it. "This isn't real hair right Sempai?" The twins gave her a blank look. She didn't notice how similar the very thing in her hands was to her own head. Ignoring her question Tamaki dove back into the box, this time with two ginger-haired and styled pieces. Kyouya took note, and instantly he felt his stomach tighten anxiously.

The twins in turn grabbed these newest wigs from the leader, Hikaru placing Karou's wig over his own hair and vice versa. After a quick few adjustments the hopped to the center of the room, arms around each other's waists and shoulders.

"Haha! Look, I'm Hikaru…" "…And I'm Karou!" They stopped. "Or am I Karou or you Hikaru? "I don't know." "Hey! Don't mess with my wigs!" Tamaki ran to the pair, who just laughed out as they resumed chase around the room. Huni scrambled into the box, looking for more. "Hey! Here is ours Taka-chan." Mori picked up his own hair style, before placing it over Huni, with the faintest hint of a smile. "Haha! Look. I'm Takashi!" Huni sat up, the black hair contrasting vibrantly with his vibrant mass of yellow curls.

"GIVE ME BACK THE WIGS!!!" "No." Came the answer in unison, twins laughing out as they rushed though the many tables and chairs adorning the room. Haruhi, now bored, just threw the wig of her own hair in the box, peering in to spy a smaller container. Curious, she picked it up, flipping the top open to have 6 pairs of eyes back at her. It was unnerving to say the least.

Tamaki, taking note of his second surprise being spoiled stopped chase, rushing up to grab the case from Haruhi. "Sempai, why are there only 6 wigs and contacts?" The twins, now interested loomed back, wigs still worn, but slightly messy for wear.

Tamaki sighed, patting Haruhi on her head. "My daughter, do you really think I would expect anyone to be able to act as me?" Her head snapped up, as well as Kyouya's from across the room. Inwardly both groaned, their fears realized. "Tamaki, what are you getting at?" Kyouya stood up, making way to the cause of commotion, standing beside Haruhi. With crossed arms he frowned at his friend.

Tamaki waved away Kyouya's look of apprehension, displaying the case for all to see. "Contacts these are dear Haruhi. You all are going to dress up as another host for the rest of hosting week! You'll get your assignments now, practice the next few days, and on Friday, the last day of hosting EVER…" Tamaki wiped away a tear. "We shall give our dear customers the best performance the history of this club will ever have."

Haruhi leaned in to Kyouya, whispering. "I thought he just said the host club will end this year, what's he going on with this 'will' tense?" Kyouya just shrugged in response.

The twins took off their wigs throwing them back in the box. Huni was scooped up by Mori just as they fell in, placed carefully back in his seat of cakes. "Thanks Takashi." "Ah."

Tamaki pointed to the two cousins, contacts out at the ready. "Now close your eyes Huni-sempai and pick up a pair of eyes." Seemingly oblivious to the discomfort his statement caused Huni shrugged, small hand already reaching out towards the make-shift eyes. His fist opened, and in his hands was a pair of black eyes. "Ah. I got…" His eyes bunched together confused. Mori handed Huni his own shot-haired black wig. "Me." "Yay! I'm Takashi!" The twins snickered to themselves. "What is he going to have to do now, wear stilts?!" Tamaki thrust the case to Hikaru. "Yes Hikaru! Exactly! We need to act as much as your chosen host as possible. Huni-sempai will wear stilts." Kyouya could already sense how much this is going to cut into expenses.

Hikaru stopped mid-laugh, eyes shut and hand reaching for a pair of eyes. Before he could snatch up his eyes Karou thrust his own hand out, a pair of chocolate eyes in his own. "Haha! Brother! I got our own Haru-chan." He reached in for a wig, adjusting it over his own hair before throwing himself on his twin. It fit quite well, and with the contacts in Karou could pass off as the youngest host, if one just had to accept the sudden change in height and real male voice.

"Oh Hikaru, I love you so much." Karou-Haruhi draped himself over Hikaru's arm, who was sputtering red as much as Haruhi. Both yelled out to Karou. "STOP IT!" Kyouya's eyes flickered dangerously to Karou, then Tamaki. This was one of his most stupid ideas yet. One could already discern that. Mori took advantage of this and just reached out for the pair of lighter, honey-colored eyes. "Mitsukuni." He took the blonde wig and stepped back from Huni. All stopped, eyes on the tallest male who was to play the shortest one. This was definitely out there for one of Tamaki's strangest ideas.

3 pairs of eyes were left, and Kyouya took a pair. Yellow cat eyes stared back at him, and his world crumbled.

A twin. Kyouya Ohtori was to play a Hitachiin twin.

"BUAHAHA!" Hikaru and Karou-Haruhi found themselves on the floor, gasping for air. "He's going to have to play brotherly love-PFFBAUAHAHA." A Hikaru wig Tamaki handed to him, and Kyouya crushed it in his grip. Purple began to emit from the Shadow King, eyes at Tamaki. The host club king too no notice, finding this too hysterical to pass up. "Haha! Mother will have to play the devious, evil Hikaru!"

The purple only began to glow brighter, with Huni and Mori smartly making their exit. "Bye everyone! This is going to be fun!" Was said by Huni-Mori before they zoomed out of the room.

So Haruhi and Kyouya stared at the contact case. In it was to be the matching pair of yellow eyes, and the rock grey orbs of Kyouya's. Hikaru rushed in before anyone, hand frantically trying to take hold of a pair. This wasn't he chance he had been waiting for, payback of the fullest kind. And out came Hikaru's hand, Haruhi calmly reaching in and also having hers in place. Kyouya twisted his head back to the pair. If the existence of a God was guaranteed Kyouya would have been on his knees praying his heart out.

Slowly Hikaru peeled away fingers, trying to draw this out. Haruhi, being full of no nonsense as she was simply held out on an open palm her eyes.

Tamaki was still making fun when he caught sight of her chosen host role, choking in mid-snort.

Karou's eyes widened, while Hikaru just opened his own, not fully believing what just happened.

Haruhi had in her hands the matching pair of yellow.

Time stood still while she just shrugged her shoulders, reaching for the Karou wig. "At least I got someone somewhat easy."

Hikaru stood there, the grey eyes of the Demon Lord crushed in his grasp as Karou handed him Kyouya's wig, dragging his brother out as well. It was getting late, and someone had to defend the free world again tonight. For tomorrow, surely there would be hell to pay. This game just got a lot less fun. And if he knew Hikaru it was that him as Kyouya, he would be getting the greatest form of payback he could on the host.

The door shut as a still mumbling Hikaru made his dragged exit. So only three were in the room. One being silently praising the rule of probability, one just bemused, the other now yelling out.

"NO! NO! I WON'T ALLOW THIS!! INCEST! IT WILL BE INCEST!!!"

Kyouya was to pull off a Hitachiin act with Haruhi. He titled his head back, glasses shining in the afternoon sun. He stamped a look of cool indifference on his face, as opposite from the hysterical blonde as possible. But while one King rejected this unlikely union of roles, the other embraced it head-on. Let the "brotherly love" begin.

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**Haha. Nothing much to say. Excited yes? I am XD**

**And thank you!! This story has just received its 1000****th**** hit!! So many!! XDDD but I am displeased. 100 hits, and only 7 voters? Meanies…I want votes! It will mean everything ,exactly how I'm going to forward this story the result. SO VOTE DARRNIT! And sorry about the shorter than average chapter ;;**

**~ja ne **


	9. Again

_Oftentimes a certain blonde leader rushes ahead, fully sure that his plans are reasonable. More often than not, he finds it's exactly the opposite, and has caused his plans to gain a somewhat, bad, for lack of a better word, nature. But he does have his moments, where a plan he unleashes not only ends up satisfying one unlikely member, but begins a whirlwind of activity to further progress the current standings between two individuals. Who would think that such a plan was a benefit, in the long run…?_

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Let the "Brotherly Love" begin.

The time was about twenty fours hour later, still in the Third Music Room. Tamaki was, surprise surprise, running around once again. But this time it was in response to stop what he had only just called "his greatest plan yet" yesterday. Or at least it was his greatest plan yet, up until he figured out that his dear Daughter would have to do, unspeakable things with Mother! It was unheard of!

"I CAN'T ALLOW THIS!" He had stopped running long enough to halt right in front of a bored Kyouya, laptop for once tucked out of sight. They were to get into costume as soon as they entered the room, for practice was to be held every day after school until Friday. And Kyouya for once wasn't trying to convince his friend otherwise.

It seemed he was the most eager for this. Or at least as eager as an Ohtori would show. Kyouya was sitting at a table opposite from Haruhi, both students just staring at the blonde. "Tamaki-sempai, I'm not too happy either with all this, but you told us of your plan. We accepted, and Renge has already broadcasted this across the school." It was true, for only this morning crowds of Host Club regulars began to pester the manager, scavenging for spoilers of who's going to act as whom.

Under Tamaki's insistence it was to remain a secret, a move Kyouya had to agree was somewhat smart. With all this anticipation, record numbers were set to be recorded. Just another reason for Kyouya to be almost grateful that Tamaki was such an idiot to think of something like this. Kyouya couldn't quite pin it down, but Haruhi as his partner was something he was looking forward too, very much.

But Kyouya knew he would have to force himself to not flinch or jump at the slightest touch. Granted if he made the first move, something Hikaru often did thankfully, and then he was sure it would be alright. But he took note of how many times those girls would drape themselves in turn over the twins. They almost were as bad as Tamaki, with all the squeals of delight going on.

Behind his glasses his eyes slanted, the grey depths going murky. He would just have to cross that bridge when he came to it. As long as Haruhi there, hopefully he could get away with just having contact with her. For he was sure that the twins never jumped when hosting, as did everyone else. Of course he had to be the weak exception to the rule. Yet it still bugged him why Haruhi he would be fine with being in proximity too. Why was it her, with that brown-eyed gaze and short feathered haircut that echoed one of the darkest shadows of his past, why was he fine with her?

Was it do to the absence of closure, was he just substituting her for his own mother?

But no, now wasn't the time to go off in speculations. Just squash it all to the side, possibly leave it up for debate with the girl currently sitting in front of him at a later time. Kyouya nodded to no one in particular before taking note that the blonde was currently fuming in front of him, waiting no doubtly for an answer.

It was just then the seniors walked in, appearances switched. It was a sight to see, as Huni, clearly trying to keep in character, approached them. His now black-haired head bobbed past the many table, his eyes black and squinted. It seemed Huni was going to take this seriously for once, as the former Lolita type looked up at Tamaki, eyes narrowed and posture straight. Haruhi leaned behind to see Mori, and instantly the amazement factor lessened dramatically.

Behind Huni's back, where his hands were clasped, was Usa-chan.

She let out a sigh, seeing that this was going to be more difficult than she imagined. Mori too looked like he was having troubles completely falling into character. Yes Mori was now a curly-haired blonde with light honey colored eyes, but still, he was so tall. And she couldn't exactly see Mori curling into a ball, stuffing down cakes by the second.

"Umm…Mori-sempai?"

"Ah."

"Ah."

Even Kyouya found this slightly amusing. If the seniors, normally so set in their ways could handle it to a degree as well as they were showcasing now, perhaps this would be an idea to keep in mind. His gaze went from the two "Moris" to Haruhi, eyes lighting up behind his lenses. Of course he would make sure some people would stay twins for later convenience.

Haruhi shook her head, muttering "never mind" before sinking lower in her chair, eyes on the Karou wig and contacts in front of her. It was already weird to see Huni acting so serious and Mori looking so, not Mori like. She could only imagine how embarrassing her being a twin will be. It wasn't the whole fact she had to perform scenes of brotherly love with Kyouya. It was just an act, much like everything else they did here. But to see Kyouya as a Hitachiin, dignity and merit just losing importance in favor of acting so much like the mischievous cat-eyed boy.

The red head wig she picked up, adjusting it over her own brown hair. Luckily it was easy to hide, and soon all traces of her original brown locks were tucked under sight. She was now a girl with ginger hair, the part styled to the left as usual. Tamaki forgot his rant and couldn't resist squealing out, rushing to gather the girl in his arms.

"Oh! My daughter looks so cute and innocent with such a look!" "Sempai, I just put the wig on…" "She still is cutest with her brown girlish hair, but I suppose this would work as well! "Girlish hair…" "But there is the matter of your evil twin." "Evil twin?"

At once Kyouya stood up, the Hikaru wig now placed on as well. It too was able to hide his originally raven hair, and with glasses still on he seemed like an intelligent version of the twin. He walked around the table to Haruhi, scooping her out of Tamaki's arms and pulled her back to his. He leaned over, arms draped over her shoulders in a loose "x" formation. He tilted his head to hers, and what seemed to be a pout on his face.

"Karou, why do you make me jealous so?" Haruhi glanced nervously back, Kyouya's sudden close proximity visibly unnerving her quite a bit. "S-Sempai?" Kyouya tried to pull a shocked face, only hugging the girl closer to him. "Sempai…Brother, why are you so cold to me?" He turned his face away, grip around her body tightening. Her reaction was just what he expected, and something he wanted to remedy. So without any disregard for the sputtering blonde he brought his face back, mere centimeters from her ear, in a whispered tone.

"Haruhi, play along…"

It seemed his breath beating down on her that close snapped her back to attention, and gave Tamaki a look of near regret before leaning back in Kyouya's hold, hand going to the right-parted bang. She was not an actress, something the Host Club has learned on countless occasions, so it was particularly shocking to see how she fared with this act, alongside Kyouya,

She tugged the bang slightly, face close to his. Her mind was busy, trying to remember exactly how Karou acted in situations like this. He was the meeker twin she knew, and often played the sensitive yin of Hikaru's brash yang nature. So in a voice also no more than a whisper she gulped, voice trembling as she started.

"Oh H-Hikaru. I didn't mean…that." It seemed Haruhi was having more trouble coming up with lines on the spot than Kyouya, who everyone was shocked to see fitting the role of one of the most aggressive host members with ease. "Shush now. As long as I know you bare no ill feelings toward me, I can live with comfort dear Karou." "Oh…Hikaru?"

Huni broke out of his stoic act, dying to clap out. "Haha! Look Takashi! Look Tama-chan! They're just like the twins!" Mori nodded. "Ah."

Tamaki just stood there, front row spectator to their "act" of love. It was fake, a tiny sense of rationality in his head was yelling this out, but still, to see…Mother, this close to his precious Daughter! Unspeakable horrors it was!

Which was why Tamaki rushed to the pair, breaking them apart with each arm. Haruhi felt a tiny wave of relief at Tamaki's over-protective tendencies, for she too was beginning to feel uncomfortable around her "brother". Not in the bad way, the way Tamaki feared. It was just different. There had been instances where the twins brought themselves close to her, she had even been closer to Kyouya physically these past few days. But something about him, just whispering this nonsense and fake words to her. It wasn't right. Something was off in the balance of the host club.

Kyouya just found this interesting how Tamaki took so long to separate the two. They weren't even fully in costume, his glasses still on, but he managed to unnerve the leader. He unlatched himself from Tamaki's grip, strolling quite casually back to his chair, bemused glance on Haruhi-Karou. Huni was still hopping around, all traces of Mori painfully absent from the short senior. Seeing Kyouya act so…opposite, it was a sight to see. Him being Tamaki was the only thing that could outdo this.

Haruhi was still trying to break free from Tamaki, who had just now started pleading to stop this behavior. She sighed, shaking off his death grip. If Tamaki was so against this, he should have thought of the consequences before dragging everyone out of their comfort level. She looked back at Mori-Huni, who was as calm and still as ever.

"Mori-sempai…You are Huni remember." Huni stopped jumping long enough to regain his composure. He strolled, chin high, looking up at the past six foot tall version of himself.

"Mitsukuni." This was growled out, his voice lower than anyone could have thought Huni could make it. Mori, silently amused at the interpretation stepped back, and looked at the expectant four hosts standing there. He took a deep breath, bending his knees before springing up on the balls of his feet.

Mori-Huni jumped up a few inches, a corner of his mouth turned up.

"Ahhh…like cake."

Everyone's eyebrows went up. Haruhi just blinked, wondering how Mori could still somehow tie in his word of choice in that statement. It was enough for the real Huni, who hopped up and landed in Mori's arms. "Takashi! You sounded just like me! That's amazing!" Huni, his black contact eyes shining as brightly as they could, looked down to Tamaki. "That was good right?! A perfect job!"

Tamaki stood there, a fixed expression on his face. Kyouya, from his seat behind him took that as a sign of intelligence. Perhaps the idiot finally has it through his thick mind that the idea as a whole, especially Mori and Huni, was going to be a fantastic failure.

"Mori-sempai…that was…"

Huni leaned into his words, Haruhi just walked her way back to the table, pulling out a chair across from Kyouya. She knew how this was going to turn out.

"That was…AMAZING!"

Kyouya pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut and brow wrinkled. "That guy truly is an idiot." Haruhi chose not to reply, just reaching down to place her contacts on. This whole thing was going to be a sight to see on Friday.

Kyouya looked over, choosing to avoid the happy circle currently being spun around Mori. He had seen plenty times Tamaki holding hands with Huni, the two blondes smiling as they skipped around. Mori was in the middle, looking pained. When had colorful flowers and sparkles settled around him, joining the dancing circle?

Haruhi took the care to remove her previous contacts, laying them out on the table so she wouldn't lose them. As the new ones came to her eyes, turning them to a bright yellow, cat-eyed appearance, she frowned. Blinking, her gaze went to Kyouya's. "Ano…I think Tamaki-sempai made a mistake with the contacts."

Kyouya took off his glasses at once, the world instantly reduced to the ever present mass of colors it was to his bare eyes. He squinted, trying to find the yellow eyes on the table. It was easier said than done, for right now only the color pink he could discern, from the table. A shadow came in his line of vision, and he looked up to see who he guessed was Haruhi, her hand out to him. "Here Sempai."

He nodded in thanks, reaching a hand slowly out until he grasped the contacts, and proceeded to place them over his own eyes.

"Your eyesight is bad isn't it Sempai?" He paused, titling his head away slightly from what he guessed was her gaze. Naturally his eyes were a sensitive subject, in all matters. He hated admitting that he was as incapable as anything without glasses, that he might as well be blind. And then there was the obvious burden he had, explaining why his eyes were just the way they were. Who he had to thank for such a thing.

"Fairly challenged." Haruhi took that as a yes. But before she could ask anymore he brought the contacts back to his eyes. "A…I ran into a teacart as a child, spilling hot tea over my eyes." He hoped this came out as nonchalant as he could make it, not really wanting to depress this moment any more. It was reason enough. It was what everyone else in his family believed anyways. "That's…horrible Sempai. You're lucky you weren't blinded!" He smirked, blinking as he too now had yellow eyes of a Hitachiin. "Lucky for who I wonder…" "What?" He snapped his head back up, ready to discard it as nothing, before the issue was now known. "Haruhi…" "Yes, this is really going to be fun isn't it?" Kyouya's face was a full-blown scowl, head up and calling out to the still prancing Tamaki.

"Idiot!"

Kyouya's voice was as ice, leaving Huni to jump up into Mori's ready arms and Tamaki to freeze still. His back was to the Shadow King, head inching mechanically towards him. "K-Kyouya?" Haruhi leaned back lower in her chair, wanting to get out of the line of fire.

She did sneak a peek at her "brother", and she knew at once there was to be bloodshed. Kyouya was smiling, with all his white teeth gleaming. His voice was calm and collected, yet terse enough to slice a limb off if need be. And need may be now.

"Tamaki, these aren't real contacts." "Well, I got them at this c-costume shop and the lady at the checkout place where I b-bought them, it was a commoner shop you see…" Haruhi groaned, dropping her head on the table. Tamaki was digging his own grave now really.

Kyouya rose, hands out on the table gripping the edge. More for balance than anything else. But what he would give to see Tamaki's face now. "So you barrel on for a pointless idea, not taking into account that two people here very well need glasses to see?" "B-But I thought that since Haruhi normally d-does fine without them it would be okay…" Haruhi nodded her face on the table surface. "And I am, everything is a little blurrier than usual but I can manage."

Kyouya looked down to where Haruhi appeared to be the mass of purple and shot her a look. She wasn't making this any easier really. But then again, Haruhi didn't make any matters easy for anyone. Haruhi in turn was just trying to make Tamaki's death a little less painful.

"Fine, but Mother," Kyouya made sure to enunciate his title, "Cannot manage without glasses." When it involved his glasses or vision, Kyouya was very well going to act annoyed. To have to go near blind because of a certain fast-talking Frenchman and his stupid excursions to stupid common shops for a stupid idea in the first place. And he was going to scold him on just that. Kyouya had his mouth opened to let loose another flurry of verbal attacks before someone took hold of his arm.

He snapped his head back down, seeing the now red hair of Haruhi. Her hand was encasing his right arm, trying to grab his attention. Kyouya near ripped his wrist out of Haruhi's hand, acting out of his normal reflex. He held it in his left, eyes on Haruhi. She chose to ignore the reaction for now, sitting back now that she had his attention.

"Kyouya-sempai, it's okay. I think you scared him enough." He sat down as well, wrist still in his hand. The corner of his mouth did twitch up though. "How bad does he look?"

She just gave Kyouya a wary glance before turning to see Tamaki. He currently was at Mori's feet, huddled into a ball. And if one looked closely enough, Haruhi tried to look harder, were those, cactus growing?

She sat back in her seat, shaking her head. "He's growing a cactus farm now." "Hmm. I was able to have him skip the mushrooms?" Kyouya didn't need to see to know exactly how she was staring at him now. "My, are you incredulous now Haruhi? You didn't think I meant my outburst did I?"

Silence enveloped the two of them, Huni and Mori deciding that once again, for the third time in a row, a speedy exit was needed. So Tamaki was dragged along this time, leaving trails of cactus spines in his wake. Haruhi wasn't sure whether to ask how in the world desert vegetation sprouted by their leader, or how Kyouya was able to pinpoint exactly what feeling she was experiencing.

Kyouya heard the door shut, happy that once again things would be peaceful, for the time being. Or until he got home that night, when Tamaki would somehow find his way past the guards to his house and barge in to his room at night, asking for forgiveness. Kyouya took it upon himself to ask if changing his cell number really was that genius of a move, at the time. Haruhi took this time to remove the wig as well.

"Sempai, you were fooling with him weren't you?" "Of course." It only made sense. Kyouya was not the type of boy to scold so readily without good reason. "You see, one can say I planned this." "But then one could say they weren't really that surprised on you planning something." He chuckled, bringing his right arm to lie in front of them on the table. "I never do things unless there's some gain, something you so eagerly always want to claim false, on my account. But you see, if I have Tamaki quilted, I find it will be so much easier to propose my own twist into this idiotic game of his." "A twist…" Haruhi didn't like the sound of that.

"Speaking of such, where are the twins? I believe they were at school today." Haruhi gave a nervous laugh at this, removing the blasted lenses from her eyes, putting them away in their case. "Oh, you noticed them not here." He scoffed. "Obviously. Two annoyances I got to live without today." "Well, it's Hikaru idea really, so naturally Karou went along. You see, they want to out due everyone on Friday." "Meaning…" "They said they are going to practice at home and surprise everyone." Kyouya felt his stomach sink slightly. That was not going to be something he wanted to see.

"You don't think they're going to act like idiots as us do you?" "If they want to win the contest they better not." Haruhi, who was reaching for Kyouya's glasses, stopped. "Contest?" "Yes, the contest I'm going to propose to Tamaki to make it up to poor Mother." It seemed he left it at that, and Haruhi didn't want to push it further. Knowing him, there had to be some monetary punishment.

She slipped his glasses on, stunned for a few seconds as her eyes tired to adjust. They were so strong these glasses, much more powerful than her own prescription. Who knew that such lenses were so strong? His rimless spectacles often had the appearance of show, that they were just there for show or to help with reading the small numbers Kyouya often went through. But with these, his eyes must have really been almost blinded so long ago.

"Sempai, do you want your glasses?" "Yeah." He got rid of his own laughable contacts, his treasured sight stuffed in his hand as Haruhi dropped them there. So he wasn't able to even see how she took them from right under him. Her hand trailed off the table, his arm still lying there in view. "Sempai, you do know you will have to work on your jumping at touch." Relief flooded his vision, the world in sync as he was able to now stare at Haruhi with clarity.

"Mmm. Yes, I suppose so yes? If it was only between us two I think I could manage, but even you noticed probably how I jumped upon you grabbing hold of me…there." Haruhi, slowly so he could prepare himself, brought her hand to his wrist, fingers tracing the base of his veins, at the edge of his blazer. "Sempai, surely you can tell me something now."

Could he? Did he even want to divulge in this girl all his past troubles and soul? Once upon a time before he did, when he thought his mind was going to slowly suffer under the memories. "Your sister told me her theories on it…that she had." "What did Fuyumi say?"

She looked up at him, his steel gaze set into her own. So he wasn't going to shy away this time, did he really want to tell? She looked away first, fingers still over the base of his wrist. It was thumping steadily under her, only the slightest trace of his scar visible if you pressed hard enough. He brought his other hand up, pressing her hand to his wrist, raising his arm. The sleeve opened a bit more, the light from the room shining down to hit the faint lines.

Haruhi kept her eyes on Kyouya, for he was looking down at her hand and his arm, as if perplexed by the very sight. "She said there was a maid, who they found dead the same day as your mother. She was jealous they said of the relationship between you and your mother. So she did this to you." The more she talked it seemed the faster Kyouya zoned out, his hand pressing down harder on hers. "S-Sempai?" Then, he just sighed, his arm dropping back to his side. He kept a hold of her hand though, it cupped into his own. Their elbows rested on the table, Kyouya still refusing her stare.

Seeing this was going nowhere Haruhi pulled her hand quickly away, having enough of the tingling that scourged her insides the tighter and longer he held on. "Sempai, it's getting late, and I have homework." She got up, pulling the chair back to the table. Her bag was nearby so she picked it up, before returning back to Kyouya's table.

Kyouya lifted his hand from the surface after she jerked it away, a fist opening and closing as he did so. Not today, not now. And luckily, Haruhi was the girl who could understand lapses of silence, in her own way. And now he had just found out exactly what lies his siblings were told. Something very valuable to his affairs at home no doubt. He nodded back to her as she prepared to leave, catching note of how much browner her hair was in the late day sun. So different, yet still, so much, like his mother. It was unfathomable.

What were the odds of his interest in a girl who looked so much like the very person who, long ago, had taken so much from him?

Haruhi gave him a last wave before walking out, the door shutting firmly closed behind her. It was time for him to go as well, rarely was Kyouya last to leave without a real excuse. But he took his time, letting his mind wander free as he picked up his belongings, chair scraping on the tiled floor. Its sound echoed in the room, and Kyouya could relate. It was how his mind set itself up, completely silent and absent. Until a sound, a thought, a feeling would echo, resonate though him.

His footsteps were almost excruciatingly loud, and if he didn't already know, one could say being alone in her was, creepy. Almost as if a ghost was just waiting to pop out and scare you senseless.

So naturally Kyouya found himself jumping forward against the door, the whack of his head hitting the oak amplified louder in the silence. His cell phone was ringing, buzzing in his pocket. His heart thumped, beating as if it was to jump out of him any second. His breath too was fast, Kyouya having to slow down and catch his breath before realizing. The phone kept ringing, Kyouya closed his eyes, trying to gulp down the fright the unexpected call had on him. What were the odds of something causing him to jump, just as he was thinking of it moments before?

He reached into his pocket then, angry now that someone dare scare him that way. He flipped it open, all traces of politeness gone from his tone. "Hello?!"

It was silent on the other end, the caller hanging up just seconds after he picked up. That was not thought of highly by the glasses-clad boy, who just stuck the device in his bag before opening the door, shutting it closed with a slam. He went down the hallway, head down, and mind busy. Again, someone called him again and just hung up. He couldn't remember if the number was the same, but it still remained. How did someone possibly get his number? And why no answer. Did they want to scare him; was someone really stupid enough to threaten an Ohtori?

He walked on, finding his wrist once again enclosed in his hand. Hiding the scars, pressing them down into his skin.

Perhaps it would be smart to invest some time with Haruhi after all. With clearing things up. With ignoring that call yet again. But then he heard it, muffled under his notebooks. Kyouya just walked on, trying to pretend it wasn't his phone ringing. Wrong number. He would use that common excuse. It was better than the alternative.

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**Hmm…I wonder who it could be. And thus another chapter ends! Yay, yippee. Heh. Next chapter will skip ahead to Friday, the day Tamaki's brilliant plan launches onto action. So what mayhem will ensue, what are the twins planning, why is Kyouya getting creeped out?! Haha, all will be revealed, eventually. And again, I'm going to be whiny. **

**VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.**

**Please? ^^;;**

**~ja ne**


	10. Anticipation

_Rarely would such a teen resort to such low levels to win. Granted the goal was a worthy one, and he would rather eat those detestable parfaits only, for a whole week, then to see anyone else win. But when you're up against someone who will use your very own tactics to their advantage, now where's the fairness in that? So of course you might have to play a little dirtier than expected. If you're willing to win, you better be prepared to get your hands dirty. Or something like that. Perhaps he would clarify that commoner statement with her, after he won. After he surely won._

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It was better than the alternative.

"Okay! Is everyone ready for the challenge of a lifetime?!"

"Yes Tamaki-sempai."

"Is everyone ready for your final exam to graduate from my fine school of hosting?!"

"Yes Tamaki-sempai."

"Is everyone ready for the greatest contest we shall ever hold?! Where the prize is being able to spend an entire week with my precious daughter during vacation!?"

"Yes Tama-WHAT!?"

"Which I will surely win, as it's only right since I am her dear, beloved-"

"WHAT!?"

Kyouya was grinning, on the inside, as Haruhi let out the reaction he was expecting.

Some would call it underhanded he had conveniently forgotten to mention to a certain brown-haired commoner girl exactly what he would guilt Tamaki into holding. But others, mainly him, think of it more as a very smart business move that was able to be transacted under the radar.

The fact Tamaki was near scared to death of making Kyouya angry, and with his added guilt of handicapping "poor mother" like, it was fairly easy to convince the King to turn his little 'final' into a challenge.

Something he would of course win. He was an Ohtori, was he not?

Seeing how Haruhi was about to painfully backhand the babbling idiot, semapi or not, he called out to her. Voice smooth and sure as always.

"Haruhi, I would not suggest harming Tamaki as such." He reached over at the table they shared, and tossed her the ginger wig. "I don't believe Karou would be so…violent."

Oh how she wanted to rub that smirk off his face.

The wig juggled in her hands for a bit, and Haruhi made sure not to look at the bemused expression on her 'twin's' face. She tugged the hairpiece on, making sure any of the familiar brown was out of sight.

This was why she wanted to run out of this damned club screaming half the time. They would spiral on to some ridiculous theme, or contest. And of course the prize would be her. Or something to do with her indirectly.

The fact it seemed most of the host club fought over her had not gone unnoticed by the girl. Their exact motives though, of course were still unknown by oblivious her.

She walked back to her chair, sitting down and staring at the contacts in front of her. Kyouya said he fixed them. Or rather guilted Tamaki into fixing them. For the Shadow King there really wasn't that big of a difference.

She slipped them on, blinking so as to get used to what would appear to be her yellow-eyed gaze.

"At least we can see now, right Kyouya-sempai?"

He stood by the table, and looked down to the left at what now appeared to be his twin.

"Yes, that was something I made sure changed at least." He turned around, fingering is own wig still on the table. "It wouldn't do to have the twins stumble around blind."

She nodded, her chin now cusped in her palm, elbow on the table. The Host Club was going to open in but a few short minutes, and she still had yet to see the other half.

And of course just as soon as she thought of it the door opened, and the two…

…Seniors walked in.

Kyouya shook his head, eyes now focused on Tamaki. It did amuse him that the blonde idiot was prancing around, still uttering out plans of what he would do with Haruhi at his inevitable win.

The fact Tamaki wasn't participating in the contest apparently hadn't reached Tamaki himself.

As usual.

Huni walked past the two 'twins', his features set in stone as he approached the blonde second year. Tugging on his pant leg he looked up, face in Mori's usually impassive scowl.

"Tamaki, contest?"

Haruhi nodded. It seemed Huni had certainly gotten better at this it seemed.

Kyouya glanced back at Mori, who was following Huni. Yet it seemed he was only barely encompassing the skip in his step Huni normally had. So while Huni may actually have a chance at winning, he knew there was no threat.

Even if he did win, he would never go without Mori. So Kyouya was safe.

Safe, listen to him. It was almost like he was devoting every neuron of his calculating brain into ensuring his victory.

But Kyouya glanced back at Karou-Haruhi, knowing that was exactly the case.

He had to win.

So intent in his musings he missed Tamaki's "scene". Until he felt himself getting slammed into by said idiot.

"MOTHEEER!! IS MORI-SEMPAI TELLING THE TRUTH?!!"

Kyouya winced, Tamaki running straight into him and now yelling into his ear unannounced not really making matters any better for him.

Haruhi sighed out, her gaze drifting to Mori-Huni. The now blonde tallest senior had slipped to Tamaki, in a considerably light-hearted voice, that, and she quotes:

"Ahh…Ha! But you're not in the ahhhh…contest! Tamahhh…chan."

It was quite funny to hear Mori struggle in not cutting that sentence short with his "Ahhs", although Tamaki's reaction was starting to get old.

"Tamaki-sempai, this contest is only legible for people actually in costume. Where would be the fairness in Tamaki-sempai playing Tamaki-sempai?"

Kyouya silently thanked her no-nonsense nature, now pushing away the still sobbing boy.

"Tamaki, get off me. Go cry, in a corner or something. But not. On. Me." And with that he tugged he blonde off, dropping him down on the tiled floor. Tamaki really needed to learn personal space.

This Kyouya nodded for, sitting down in the chair so as to prevent this from happening again. He put the wig on, and slowly slipped off his glasses, hand around the contacts already.

Haruhi just sighed at the exchange between the two friends, eyes on the door. The twins haven't been seen for days, and she was rightly scared. If they won this stupid contest, who knows what they would make her do.

She liked the twins don't get her wrong. Everyone in this host club had a special place in her heart. But if this "week of vacation" was going to encompass her trying on fashions that her father would be tearing up at her wearing…Then no thank you. She'd rather win this with Kyouya.

Kyouya. Or Hikaru right now, since he too was not in costume. There was a time when she would rather be with the twins than the Shadow King. But now, it seemed her views were shifting. In but barely two weeks she already seemed to have bonded, formed a closer connection with the youngest Ohtori than anyone else here.

But was that really all that bad?

Kyouya, the one she had gotten to know and spend time with, was such a different person. Deep down he had so many layers, so many skeletons in his closest. Memories even, that she knew he wasn't all that keen on sharing. Yet.

But he will. Haruhi knew her job was far from over. She would lend Kyouya the ear he would need, even if he didn't ask directly for it. Because that was just how Kyouya was. You had to near see him at breaking point, and comfort him. Before he would even think of reaching out to you.

And Haruhi found it ironic. The most sure and steadfast of them all was really the most insecure teen of the bunch.

But she didn't mind. As long as Kyouya was still Kyouya, all would be well.

"My, my. Zoning out on the job Karou? Not very good for the customers I'm afraid."

She looked up, Kyouya-Hikaru still sitting in front of her, and not behind where the voice had seemingly came from.

"Ehh?"

"Kyouya-sempai really, you don't have to find the need to torment every person not acting like you."

Now Kyouya had his eyes on Haruhi-Karou, who was sitting in front of him and not behind where…oh.

Tamaki instantly sprung up, kicking away the mushrooms as he clapped his hands in joy. Apparently forgetting exactly why he was in tears but moments before.

"It's Mother!! And precious Daughter!!!"

No one could deny that, for in fact it was. It seemed their time of absence was well spent.

For it really did seem Kyouya, or at least Hikaru-Kyouya, was standing behind Haruhi-Karou, pen tapping on what appeared to be a perfect copy of Kyouya's treasured ledger.

Yet Kyouya still narrowed his eyes at his "double", not putting it past the git to have stolen his.

Haruhi was having the same experience, yet was a great deal more pleased with seeing her double. Karou really did pass off for her quite well, which both scared and amused her.

Haruhi-Karou gave Karou-Haruhi a smile, and thumbs up in what she hoped to be Hitachiin Fashion.

"Well, now that we're all here, WE MUST START!" Tamaki spread his hands wide, the familiar twinkle of excitement present in his violet eyes.

The whirring of a motor was heard, and all but Haruhi-Karou, and Karou-Haruhi regarded this as normal.

"Seriously, does NO ONE ever question where she gets that engine from!?"

Karou-Haruhi was waving his arms around, to further exclaim.

Haruhi could all but nod again. It seemed Karou really was getting the hang of her character. There was a chance he could win. Which was interesting indeed. Karou on his own, was a great deal nicer than Hikaru.

She kept her eyes on her "double", while Kyouya kept on his steady glare at his own "self". Hikaru knew Kyouya wanted to win this, how he wasn't sure. But if this Hitachiin wanted war, so it would be.

Hikaru-Kyouya was smirking down at Kyouya-Hikaru, knowing that this win would be in the bag. He and Karou had all but made sure they were perfect copies of their counterparts, so the victory would be swift and quick. Hikaru knew he needed to win this.

The closeness between Haruhi and Kyouya, whether they noticed it or not, was unnerving. It wasn't right. Nothing good could come out of getting close to Kyouya.

He narrowed his eyes as Kyouya did the same, Hikaru's grasp on the ledger, which no he didn't steal, tightening. For some reason the two found themselves near rivals, certainly a development neither expected.

But fine, if this Shadow King wanted to play this way fine.

The real Hitachiin twins had a few tricks up their sleeves, for this event. Which would both astound all the girls and mock the glasses-wearing Demon Lord.

When pushed Hikaru could become very devious indeed. Much more than Karou.

For he was not afraid to torment a worthy advisory into submission, using exactly their weakness against them. Something Hikaru was already planning, since that day he found them at the mall.

His blood boiled through his veins thinking of such a memory again. It was horrid. It was wrong. And it wasn't him that close to her.

And while Hikaru would rather lose to this four-eyed creep than admit or even stop to think about his "feelings" he may have for Haruhi, that doesn't mean he would stand aside and have this Ohtori get all the glory.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

She came out of the floor, outfitted in a costume eerily reminiscent of the one she wore on that day at the commoner mall. But this one had sequins.

"I, RENGE, MANAGER OF THE HOST CLUB, CALL THIS FINAL TEST OF HOSTING ABILITY, ISSUED BY TAMAKI SUOH, THE KING OF THIS CLUB…OPEN!"

And now the real Haruhi only shook her head, rising up to stand by her "brother" as the doors seemed to open on their own, hoards of girls crowding in.

The Host Club was in the middle, and Kyouya-Hikaru made sure to latch an arm around Haruhi-Karou's waist. The game was to begin, and they had to act the parts.

Hikaru-Kyouya and Karou-Haruhi stood off to the side, the former leaning slightly over towards the latter.

The Seniors just stood behind, both slightly eager and how this will turn out. They would try, but really, they knew it would be down to either Hikaru or Kyouya.

The winner, whoever it was, would change the club dramatically.

But perhaps Tamaki, who was now in front of the squealing crowd, charm full-throttle for his opening speech, hadn't realized this.

A simple contest, was going to drive a wedge, both inevitable and sure in nature.

__________________________________________________________

**-hides behind book fort-**

**Yes, yes. I know. I haven't updated in forever, and I cut it off right before it starts. But gah! I just started school 2 days ago, and my brain has been fried. I still want to continue this story, and having this chapter out will probably have my writing come easier for the future. The next chap won't take as long, I promise. So yes! Things will change. Prepare next chap, for The Contest!**


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